The greatest movie review ever written

Subnuts · 05-07-07, 06:12 PM

Bigabe, a member of epinions.com, wrote this review of Sin City. Does a greater example of the brilliance of the English language exist anywhere else?

Quote:

this movie is a freat movie and has a very dark edge to it when i saw it in theaters i was shocked at how violent it was but thats the charms of this movie its more violent and action packed than any other movie out ther the story is this a cop and his partner get a call that a young girl was kidnapped one of the cops is bruce willis and the other i forget but it was a great movie non the less but basically his partner turns on him and shoots him alot of times and he still doesnt die but its all good then the the movie goes into another story where you see this really big guy having sex with a blonde hooker named goldie alittle after the guy wakes up and he finds that the girl is dead and hes well mad but whatever so he tracks the killer down and come to find out that its the guy from the lord of the rings frodo in this movie he is not a light hearted hobit hes a cannible and hes rapes and eats the bodies it was weird but good in a sick kinda way but then he finds him and kills him and kills a priest that is somehow involved but that part of the movie is kinda sick also the other thing is that when me and my dad went to the movies to see this movie my dad walked out when he put the cannibles head on the bible but none the less i stayed and watched the rest so the movie goes on and later he gets caught for what he did and he was put in the electric chair for his actions and it took more than one shock to put him down trust me hit was alittle disturbing then it goes to a another story out of nowhere about a group of prostitutes that run a section of the city and the cops dont mess with these girls because they know that these girls dont play these hookers dont have pimps and dont have any rules they follow but there own and ect but later you see this scene where this guy with long hair starts beating up this chick brittany murphy you know the girl for 8 mile than things start to heat up when another man walks in and kcks the guys but hard and puts his face in a toliet bowl that the guy was peeing in it really nasty if you think about it but then this guy goes to the hookers part of town looking for action but the girls dont want to give him any tang if you know what im saying and he gets mad and he gets killed but than the girls find out that hes a cop and they start to panic so the guy that kicked the same guys but in the earlier scene comes in and takes the guy and dumps his bodie in a tar pit he starts to trip on the way when the bodie starts to talk to him and also he gets stopped by a cop on the way there but he hits the breaks and puts his head in the glove compartment so as they finally get to the tar pits he finds this group of people and there heavily armed they have grenades and stuff like that but whos cares it was alittle random what happened in that scene lets get back to the plot of the movie the story skips again to where the movie starts off about the detective saving the girl but hes in prison cause he was framed for it ect ect so basically he gets out and finds that she works at a titie bar and he found out that she grew up considerably also as he goes in the bar he sees a strange looking yellow man drinking a shot of something not sure they dont mention it in the movie what it was so he takes her home she trys to get things started if you know what i mean lol but he pushes her away then they get followed by the man and yeah they have a shot out ect ect ect he get kills him and then he kills himself and thats the end i hope you like my review its not all that great but im only 14 and im trying thank you for reading

JSLTIGER · 05-07-07, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subnuts

Bigabe, a member of epinions.com, wrote this review of Sin City. Does a greater example of the brilliance of the English language exist anywhere else?

Quote:

this movie is a freat movie and has a very dark edge to it when i saw it in theaters i was shocked at how violent it was but thats the charms of this movie its more violent and action packed than any other movie out ther the story is this a cop and his partner get a call that a young girl was kidnapped one of the cops is bruce willis and the other i forget but it was a great movie non the less but basically his partner turns on him and shoots him alot of times and he still doesnt die but its all good then the the movie goes into another story where you see this really big guy having sex with a blonde hooker named goldie alittle after the guy wakes up and he finds that the girl is dead and hes well mad but whatever so he tracks the killer down and come to find out that its the guy from the lord of the rings frodo in this movie he is not a light hearted hobit hes a cannible and hes rapes and eats the bodies it was weird but good in a sick kinda way but then he finds him and kills him and kills a priest that is somehow involved but that part of the movie is kinda sick also the other thing is that when me and my dad went to the movies to see this movie my dad walked out when he put the cannibles head on the bible but none the less i stayed and watched the rest so the movie goes on and later he gets caught for what he did and he was put in the electric chair for his actions and it took more than one shock to put him down trust me hit was alittle disturbing then it goes to a another story out of nowhere about a group of prostitutes that run a section of the city and the cops dont mess with these girls because they know that these girls dont play these hookers dont have pimps and dont have any rules they follow but there own and ect but later you see this scene where this guy with long hair starts beating up this chick brittany murphy you know the girl for 8 mile than things start to heat up when another man walks in and kcks the guys but hard and puts his face in a toliet bowl that the guy was peeing in it really nasty if you think about it but then this guy goes to the hookers part of town looking for action but the girls dont want to give him any tang if you know what im saying and he gets mad and he gets killed but than the girls find out that hes a cop and they start to panic so the guy that kicked the same guys but in the earlier scene comes in and takes the guy and dumps his bodie in a tar pit he starts to trip on the way when the bodie starts to talk to him and also he gets stopped by a cop on the way there but he hits the breaks and puts his head in the glove compartment so as they finally get to the tar pits he finds this group of people and there heavily armed they have grenades and stuff like that but whos cares it was alittle random what happened in that scene lets get back to the plot of the movie the story skips again to where the movie starts off about the detective saving the girl but hes in prison cause he was framed for it ect ect so basically he gets out and finds that she works at a titie bar and he found out that she grew up considerably also as he goes in the bar he sees a strange looking yellow man drinking a shot of something not sure they dont mention it in the movie what it was so he takes her home she trys to get things started if you know what i mean lol but he pushes her away then they get followed by the man and yeah they have a shot out ect ect ect he get kills him and then he kills himself and thats the end i hope you like my review its not all that great but im only 14 and im trying thank you for reading

Psycluded · 05-07-07, 07:42 PM

It's sort of like a train wreck or car accident. I can't look away, and I want to share the experience with my friends to lessen the pain...

05-07-07, 07:52 PM

ASWnut101 · 05-07-07, 07:56 PM

There's a period button on the keyboard for a reason...

JSLTIGER · 05-07-07, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASWnut101

There's a period button on the keyboard for a reason...

Not to mention comma, semicolon, shift, etc...

EDIT:

Quote:

i hope you like my review its not all that great but im only 14 and im trying thank you for reading

Isn't Sin City rated R? Someone's parents aren't doing their job...

NefariousKoel · 05-07-07, 10:43 PM

Maddox has some of the best movie reviews ever, along with an acute sense of realism concerning other everyday nonsense.
If you haven't seen them, then you've missed out.

http://maddox.xmission.com/

d@rk51d3 · 05-07-07, 11:22 PM

owwwwwww, my head hurts.

bookworm_020 · 05-08-07, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JSLTIGER

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASWnut101

There's a period button on the keyboard for a reason...

Not to mention comma, semicolon, shift, etc...

EDIT:

Quote:

i hope you like my review its not all that great but im only 14 and im trying thank you for reading

Isn't Sin City rated R? Someone's parents aren't doing their job...

It is R rated here in Australia. Do you know where this kid lives? I want to get in touch with his English teacher......

Heibges · 05-08-07, 09:34 AM

I think the review is written in that style as an hommage to William Faulkner.

05-07-07, 07:42 PM	#3
Psycluded A-ganger Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pacific Theater Posts: 71 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 0	It's sort of like a train wreck or car accident. I can't look away, and I want to share the experience with my friends to lessen the pain... __________________ Psycluded - Dad. Gamer. Programmer Captain, USS Drum (SS-228), Gato class US Submarine

05-07-07, 07:56 PM	#5
ASWnut101 Admiral Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: USA Posts: 2,021 Downloads: 9 Uploads: 0	There's a period button on the keyboard for a reason... __________________

05-07-07, 10:43 PM	#7
NefariousKoel Ace of the Deep Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: No-good Missouri scum Posts: 1,223 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	Maddox has some of the best movie reviews ever, along with an acute sense of realism concerning other everyday nonsense. If you haven't seen them, then you've missed out. http://maddox.xmission.com/ __________________ "When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different." - Jack Handey

05-08-07, 09:34 AM	#10
Heibges Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: San Francisco, California Posts: 1,633 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	I think the review is written in that style as an hommage to William Faulkner. __________________ U.Kdt.Hdb B. I. 28) This possibility of using the hydrophone to help in detecting surface ships should, however, be restricted to those cases where the submarine is unavoidably compelled to stay below the surface. http://www.hackworth.com/

05-07-07, 07:52 PM	#4
darius359au Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:

05-07-07, 11:22 PM	#8
d@rk51d3 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Adelaide, South Australia Posts: 1,951 Downloads: 207 Uploads: 0	owwwwwww, my head hurts.