Man chainsaws house in two

kiwi_2005 · 03-11-07, 12:32 AM

Well i suppose thats one way of having half each.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/2/...ectid=10428231

Quote:

BERLIN - A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house - which was some 8 meters long and 6 meters wide - before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying.

- REUTERS

The Avon Lady · 03-11-07, 01:03 AM

Heh! Heh! Gotta love a Yekke!

Letum · 03-11-07, 02:15 AM

Solomon's house I suppose...

The Avon Lady · 03-11-07, 03:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Letum

Solomon's house I suppose...

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.

"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, " and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "This man must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law!"

Letum · 03-11-07, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Avon Lady

Quote:

Originally Posted by Letum

Solomon's house I suppose...

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.

"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He a......[...]

Arf!

Skybird · 03-11-07, 06:34 AM

What should I say? Us Germans!

STEED · 03-11-07, 08:47 AM

Well..............:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

TteFAboB · 03-11-07, 08:49 AM

:rotfl: :rotfl:

My kind of guy!

bookworm_020 · 03-11-07, 06:43 PM

I'm waiting to see how he deal with the car and pets!

I wonder how the juge would see that in divorce court!:hmm:

Hitman · 03-12-07, 08:28 AM

Divorce seems to be exasperating for men in developed countries...women have nearly all the legal advantages and can cause really serious trouble to anyone's economy when divorcing. No wonder some people go mad and do such things

Here is a good divorce-related joke I was told some years ago:

A man goes to buy his daughter a Barbie doll and asks the price. "Well" says the seller in the shop "That depends on which Barbie you want. There's a swimmer-Barbie, with bikini, towel and such at 50$. Then there is a tennis playing Barbie which costs 54$, a dancing-Barbie at 65$, a medic-barbie at 79$ and also a divorced-Barbie at 1250$"

"What?" says the astonished man "Why does the divorced Barbie cost so much than the others?? 1250$ is a lot of money!!"

"Yes" says the seller patiently, "but you know...the divorced-Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's bank accounts..." :rotfl:

Letum · 03-12-07, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hitman

Divorce seems to be exasperating for men in developed countries.

The only reason for this is that:
a) men tend to earn more than women on average. (UK) When the worth of a married couple is divided equally the person who earns the most will lose out the most.
b) preference is given to women when deciding custody of children. (UK)

I believe that a) is unfair on women and b) is unfair on men.

It is certainly not the case that all divorcing women are fiscally predatory!

Hitman · 03-12-07, 12:44 PM

Well it's in fact the second point what causes normally the most of the trouble. Children are 99% of the times assigned to women -rightfully as I can see now that I have two, 22 and 5 months old, and see that I would be unable to do 1% of what my wife does- but that implies here also the use of the family house and a certain amount of money each month for maintenance of the children. That leaves a man who has short incomings nearly in the most absolute poverty, because houses have skyrocketed here in the last years and if he not only has to rent one but also give away some money monthly, it is not infrequent to see men loosing their job and becoming homeless.

Torpedo Fodder · 03-12-07, 11:40 PM

Hahaha! this is eerily similar to a car commercial I saw many years ago on TV, where a man, also facing imminant divorce angrily shouts "she wants half! I'll give her half!" then proceeds to chainsaw his house in half, but when he gets to the car in the garage he stops and says to himself: "maybe we can work this out"

:rotfl:

03-11-07, 01:03 AM	#2
The Avon Lady Über Mom Join Date: May 2005 Location: Jerusalem, Israel Posts: 6,147 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Heh! Heh! Gotta love a Yekke! __________________ "Victory will come to us from the wombs of our women." - Houari Boumedienne, President of Algeria, Speech before the UN, 1974

03-11-07, 02:15 AM	#3
Letum Navy Seal Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: York - UK Posts: 6,079 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	Solomon's house I suppose... __________________

03-11-07, 06:34 AM	#6
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,604 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	What should I say? Us Germans! __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

03-11-07, 08:47 AM	#7
STEED Lucky Jack Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Down Town UK Posts: 27,695 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 48	Well..............:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: __________________ Dr Who rest in peace 1963-2017. To borrow Davros saying...I NAME YOU CHIBNALL THE DESTROYER OF DR WHO YOU KILLED IT!

03-11-07, 08:49 AM	#8
TteFAboB Admiral Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,247 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: :rotfl: My kind of guy! __________________ "Tout ce qui est exagéré est insignifiant." ("All that is exaggerated is insignificant.") - Talleyrand

03-11-07, 06:43 PM	#9
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	I'm waiting to see how he deal with the car and pets! I wonder how the juge would see that in divorce court!:hmm: __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

03-12-07, 08:28 AM	#10
Hitman Pacific Aces Dev Team Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Spain Posts: 6,109 Downloads: 109 Uploads: 2	Divorce seems to be exasperating for men in developed countries...women have nearly all the legal advantages and can cause really serious trouble to anyone's economy when divorcing. No wonder some people go mad and do such things Here is a good divorce-related joke I was told some years ago: A man goes to buy his daughter a Barbie doll and asks the price. "Well" says the seller in the shop "That depends on which Barbie you want. There's a swimmer-Barbie, with bikini, towel and such at 50$. Then there is a tennis playing Barbie which costs 54$, a dancing-Barbie at 65$, a medic-barbie at 79$ and also a divorced-Barbie at 1250$" "What?" says the astonished man "Why does the divorced Barbie cost so much than the others?? 1250$ is a lot of money!!" "Yes" says the seller patiently, "but you know...the divorced-Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's bank accounts..." :rotfl: __________________ One day I will return to sea ...

03-12-07, 12:44 PM	#12
Hitman Pacific Aces Dev Team Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Spain Posts: 6,109 Downloads: 109 Uploads: 2	Well it's in fact the second point what causes normally the most of the trouble. Children are 99% of the times assigned to women -rightfully as I can see now that I have two, 22 and 5 months old, and see that I would be unable to do 1% of what my wife does- but that implies here also the use of the family house and a certain amount of money each month for maintenance of the children. That leaves a man who has short incomings nearly in the most absolute poverty, because houses have skyrocketed here in the last years and if he not only has to rent one but also give away some money monthly, it is not infrequent to see men loosing their job and becoming homeless. __________________ One day I will return to sea ...

03-12-07, 11:40 PM	#13
Torpedo Fodder Ensign Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Whitby, Ontario Posts: 234 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Hahaha! this is eerily similar to a car commercial I saw many years ago on TV, where a man, also facing imminant divorce angrily shouts "she wants half! I'll give her half!" then proceeds to chainsaw his house in half, but when he gets to the car in the garage he stops and says to himself: "maybe we can work this out" :rotfl: __________________ Si vis pacem, para bellum - If you want peace, prepare for war. "Those who turn their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't"