2013 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

[Gut Wrench]

2013 Subsim Fantasy Football
...and then there were eight.

Welcome back football fans, and here we are just days away from Draft Day, on the most important football season we're seen...since last year.

It's the 2013 Subsim Fantasy Football competition, 16 weeks of grueling to and fro in the race up to the coveted Torpedo Bowl. And we'll be there every yard of the way to bring you the much anticipated Monday night rewrites, and keep you up to do with all the stories around the league.

But before we get to this years draft, a word from our sponsor.

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On with the first show of the year. After last years decision decision to have the draft overseas, Commissioner McBee has listened to his fans (unlike the new Yahoo FF pages) and brought the draft back to a traditional American flavor. This years draft will take place while cruising on the Mississippi on board the American Queen paddle boat.




The grandeur and comforts of grand Southern ladies awaits the Coaches as they begin to gather in Memphis for a three night draft cruise. Beautiful, opulent and abundant heavy chested Southern Belles will provide around the clock service to the Subsim community, for as we know, the girls love a man who can go deep.

This year the Commissioner has taken the extraordinary step of reducing the number of teams to eight, within two divisions. "I didn't receive enough graft, I mean, interest from the other syndicate families to warrant 16 years, so screw em. If they wanna be wussies, let em play in the NFL."

Obvious omission include last years second team from Australia, the Tarjackistan Tarbulls and their surprise fourth pick of the draft ("We'll take the 49ers defense.") who failed to renew, leaving the two stalwart internationals of the Helmand Nighthawks (London) and the Australian Taipans (Queensland) in the same division.

That same division sees the introduction of the only new team, the "Who Dat Nation." (Who knew?)

In the other division, the big bangers of the league are all grouped. The Black Cats, the Guns of Hochuli, and the Drunk Monkeys lead the charge while the Commissioners own Wild Boston Terriers make up the fourth team.

As we get ready for draft day on Sunday, the big questions are already on everyone's lips. Is this the year that McBee will win the Championship? How many bare ass monkeys will we see this year? Will the 2013 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports get a nomination for this years Best of Subsim?

So get ready for most Gut Wrenching 16 weeks of disappointment and frustration we've seen since there were twice as many teams. They're all gone, ...and then there were eight.