George Lucas To Produce Special Edition Blu-Ray of "Das Boot"

Subnuts · 09-02-11, 08:26 PM

Hold onto your original releases, folks. This man won't stop until every movie ever made has been butchered and replaced with his "original vision." I just got this list of changes he's proposing for the 2015 "special edition" of Das Boot from a friend of mine over on blu-ray.com:

Rita Cadillac has been removed entirely from the opening scene, and replaced with a new computer-animated dance scene and a musical number called U-boat Rocks.
All of the alcoholic beverages in the opening sequence have been replaced with sugar-free Red Bull.
A deleted scene has been reinstated where the Captain meets with a CGI rendition of Admiral Donitz and comically steps on his feet.
When the Captain, Werner, and the Chief are walking to U-96 in the submarine pen, a giant computer-animated rendition of a German soldier's rear end obscures the screen for two seconds.
The Captain now yells "NEEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN!!!" before retrieving his gun when Johann has his breakdown.
After the attack on the convoy, numerous shots of massive crowds across the globe celebrating the sinkings of the three ships have been inserted.
When U-96 is running through the Straights of Gibraltar, the Millennium Falcon can be seen for a split second.
The prop girl that can seen momentarily after the boat hits the bottom at Gibraltar has been digitally replaced by Salacious Crumb.
The British planes that bomb La Rochelle have been replaced with dozens of identical CGI B-29s.
Depressing theatrical ending replaced with upbeat finale where Lt. Werner reunites with the ghosts of Der Alte, Commander Richardson, and Captain Vasili Borodin, who have all become one with The Force.
All of Klaus Wennemann's dialogue has been overdubbed by Harvey Keitel.
Thanks to painstaking color restoration efforts, all of the red nighttime lights are now a historically-accurate pink.
More screaming has been added to the depth charge attacks.
In the distant shots of U-96 on the surface, the eyes of the lookouts now blink.
All of the depth charge explosions now have flat, glowing rings around them.
The entire interior of the U-96 has been digitally replaced using the most advanced CGI available.
All original copies of the film, theatrical, director's cut, or miniseries, will be burned and buried in a gigantic pit in New Mexico within 60 days of the Special Edition's release.
All of the water has been replaced with moisture-free computer-animated water. (George Lucas doesn't like water. It's cold, it's wet, and it gets everywhere.)

Platapus · 09-02-11, 08:45 PM

Does the crippled tanker also shoot first?

frau kaleun · 09-02-11, 09:13 PM

Stealhead · 09-03-11, 01:53 AM

The Captain now yells "NEEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN!!!" before retrieving his gun when Johann has his breakdown.

Because Walkie-Talkies where invented after WWII they decided not to replace all guns with walkie-talkies as they did to the cops and government agents in E.T. so the Captain will now grab the Enigma Machine when Johan gets up set.

Oberon · 09-03-11, 05:34 AM

IIRC wasn't it B-17s that bombed La Rochelle anyway.

Jimbuna · 09-03-11, 06:50 AM

Don't see myself rushing out to buy it.

Dowly · 09-03-11, 06:53 AM

Speaking of George Lucas: Howard the Duck and... sigh.. ducktits (and this is an PG movie

):

09-02-11, 08:26 PM	#1
Subnuts The Old Man Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 1,658 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	George Lucas To Produce Special Edition Blu-Ray of "Das Boot" Hold onto your original releases, folks. This man won't stop until every movie ever made has been butchered and replaced with his "original vision." I just got this list of changes he's proposing for the 2015 "special edition" of Das Boot from a friend of mine over on blu-ray.com: Rita Cadillac has been removed entirely from the opening scene, and replaced with a new computer-animated dance scene and a musical number called U-boat Rocks. All of the alcoholic beverages in the opening sequence have been replaced with sugar-free Red Bull. A deleted scene has been reinstated where the Captain meets with a CGI rendition of Admiral Donitz and comically steps on his feet. When the Captain, Werner, and the Chief are walking to U-96 in the submarine pen, a giant computer-animated rendition of a German soldier's rear end obscures the screen for two seconds. The Captain now yells "NEEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN!!!" before retrieving his gun when Johann has his breakdown. After the attack on the convoy, numerous shots of massive crowds across the globe celebrating the sinkings of the three ships have been inserted. When U-96 is running through the Straights of Gibraltar, the Millennium Falcon can be seen for a split second. The prop girl that can seen momentarily after the boat hits the bottom at Gibraltar has been digitally replaced by Salacious Crumb. The British planes that bomb La Rochelle have been replaced with dozens of identical CGI B-29s. Depressing theatrical ending replaced with upbeat finale where Lt. Werner reunites with the ghosts of Der Alte, Commander Richardson, and Captain Vasili Borodin, who have all become one with The Force. All of Klaus Wennemann's dialogue has been overdubbed by Harvey Keitel. Thanks to painstaking color restoration efforts, all of the red nighttime lights are now a historically-accurate pink. More screaming has been added to the depth charge attacks. In the distant shots of U-96 on the surface, the eyes of the lookouts now blink. All of the depth charge explosions now have flat, glowing rings around them. The entire interior of the U-96 has been digitally replaced using the most advanced CGI available. All original copies of the film, theatrical, director's cut, or miniseries, will be burned and buried in a gigantic pit in New Mexico within 60 days of the Special Edition's release. All of the water has been replaced with moisture-free computer-animated water. (George Lucas doesn't like water. It's cold, it's wet, and it gets everywhere.) __________________ My Amazon.com reviews

09-02-11, 08:45 PM	#2
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,365 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Does the crippled tanker also shoot first? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

09-03-11, 06:50 AM	#6
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,539 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Don't see myself rushing out to buy it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

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09-02-11, 09:13 PM	#3
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0

09-03-11, 01:53 AM	#4
Stealhead Navy Seal Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Kentucky Posts: 5,421 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	The Captain now yells "NEEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN!!!" before retrieving his gun when Johann has his breakdown. Because Walkie-Talkies where invented after WWII they decided not to replace all guns with walkie-talkies as they did to the cops and government agents in E.T. so the Captain will now grab the Enigma Machine when Johan gets up set.

09-03-11, 05:34 AM	#5
Oberon Lucky Jack Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,976 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 20	IIRC wasn't it B-17s that bombed La Rochelle anyway.

09-03-11, 06:53 AM	#7
Dowly Lucky Jack Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 25,052 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	Speaking of George Lucas: Howard the Duck and... sigh.. ducktits (and this is an PG movie ):