The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, died and went to heaven...

[SUBMAN1]

Arthur Davidson, the inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute, then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yes, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions...

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds...

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust...

5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"

"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.

[AVGWarhawk]

THE BEST Put Down LINE EVER
For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!'

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military h eadquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent.

[SUBMAN1]

Shopping Trip...


A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart and the
husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife and so
they carry on shopping.

A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20 jar of face
cream and puts it in the shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the
price.

[Sailor Steve]

Subman, that first one was great! (the others are too, but I liked the first one)

This one isn't about women, but it is about dying and going to heaven:

A man dies and goes to heaven (bet you didn't see that coming). At the pearly gates he asks expresses some reservations about activities there.

"Do you have racing?" he asks.

"Do we have racing??? Every single day we have the Heavenly 500. In fact it's about to start now!"

So their watching the cars lined up on the grid, and the man asks "Isn't that A.J. Foyt's helmet? I didn't know he was dead."

Peter replies "He's not. That's God. He likes to think he's A.J. Foyt."

[bookworm_020]

Love them all

I liked the Peter Cosgrove one the best. I can almost here the clang of the interviews jaw hiting the ground!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

I like the Harley one especially.....you pasted the text, probably because you encountered the same problem I did last week and couldn't get the accompanying gifs to animate after transferring.