A little bit of Aviation Humor for ya!

[ASWnut101]

The 30 Greatest Lies in Aviation

The 30 Greatest Lies in Aviation -

1. I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.

2. Me? I've never busted minimums.

3. We will be on time, maybe even early.

4. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.

5. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.

6. I'm a member of the mile high club.

7. I only need glasses for reading.

8. I broke out right at minimums.

9. The weather is gonna be alright - it's clearing to VFR.

10. If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.

11. I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.

12. We shipped the part yesterday.

13. I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.

14. All you have to do is follow the book.

15. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.

16. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.

17. Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.

18. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.

19. No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.

20. Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?

21. We'll be home by lunchtime.

22. Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.

23. I'm always glad to see the FAA.

24. We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.

25. It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?

26. I thought YOU took care of that.

27. I've got the field in sight.

28. I've got the traffic in sight.

29. Of course I know where we are.

30. I'm SURE the gear was down.

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Number One

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"

"When I was number one for takeoff," replied the student.

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I deserve first class

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach LA."

The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach LA." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to LA."


:rotfl: :rotfl: