Communist Jokes

[The Noob]

Since i'm a commie, i would like to post some communist jokes.

This is a thread for jokes from communist or lefties, not over commies or lefties.

I'll Start.

Two Reporters meet, one Soviet and one American.

The American says: You, soviet, what motivates you to work for the pravada TV station? It's state-run, and the state does not give you any freedom of speech. See, i can go to the governement headquaters and yell "REGAN SUCKS!" and no one will harm me.

The Soviet responds: So what? I can go to red square and yell "REGAN SUCKS!" too! No one will harm me, either.

My Russian friend told me that, it's funny as hell.

Another one:

A man dies and goes to hell. There he discovers that he has a choice: he can go to capitalist hell or to communist hell. Naturally, he wants to compare the two, so he goes over to capitalist hell. There outside the door is the devil, who looks a bit like Ronald Reagan. "What's it like in there?" asks the visitor. "Well," the devil replies, "in capitalist hell, they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."

"That's terrible!" he gasps. "I'm going to check out communist hell!" He goes over to communist hell, where he discovers a huge queue of people waiting to get in. He waits in line. Eventually he gets to the front and there at the door to communist hell is a little old man who looks a bit like Karl Marx. "I'm still in the free world, Karl," he says, "and before I come in, I want to know what it's like in there."

"In communist hell," says Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil, and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."

"But… but that's the same as capitalist hell!" protests the visitor, "Why such a long queue?"

"Well," sighs Marx, "Sometimes we're out of oil, sometimes we don't have knives, sometimes no hot water…"

Do you know some jokes too? Kap? Oberon?