J. S. Balz writes:
02 February 1941
While searching for a convoy, my illustrious personna received a radiogram today in respect to someone called Von Titz, a rather presumptious fellow, I presume.
I seem to remember a pimply little fchap at the Naval Academy, who graduated thanks to his mother doing the hoochie-woochie with the director.
I asked my mother what she thought of Von Titz. She says Von Titz is like an Italian restaurant serving overcooked spaghetti.
Yesterday morning I did an einz, zwei hoochie woochie on a small freighter to keep my tremendous skill honed. It's been two weeks since we have seen a ship.
If Von Titz has ambitions of becoming a great hero such as myself, he can stare at my magnificense with admiration while he buys me a drink.
Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz.