From U-52
To BDU
30 April 1940
Dear Admiral and the rest of you at BDU
Even the attocious weather cannot prevent a good man such as myself from exceeding heroic expectations. As per my preceeding message, thanks to my great ability and nautical cunning I was able to exceed 100,000 (one hundred thousand) BRT of enemy shipping sunk during one patrol.
You might have also noticed that my boat is a type VIIB and that my patrol lasted less than one month. I imagine you will go into immediate deliberations as to the medals I should receive. A nice Ritter Kreuz would add prestige to the award, if I wear it. My mother would like it too.
Although, I have plenty of fuel, I plan to put into Vigo where the fried sardines are the very best. You can mail me the medals there. I plan to make another patrol before returning as a triumphant conqueror to Willhelmshaven.
I can assure you that with my heroic participation, the British will soon surrender. It would also be nice if I got a promotion to Kptlt. It would look good for the Kriegsmarine to promote me.
Humbly performing my duty
Lt.z.S. Johan Sebastian Balz
P.S. Don't forget I sank the Rodney on my first patrol.