Stock and some mods don't have them easily available, if at all. In TMO-based mods, if you're in a fleet boat and in the Control Room, they are on the un-occupied stand to the Chief's right. In the Conn, they are to the Helmsman's right on his station. In both cases, it's a grouping of 4 small gauges, 2x2, maybe just above waist height... Some mods, you can click on them and set the rpm. Others, they're window dressing, and you'll have to fiddle with the knot gauge to get the rpm down...
It is difficult to not panic or worry when you hear continuous pinging, but patience is key, as is realizing you will take damage. The main ingredient is proper attacking, which is just biding your time, and attack where / when appropriate - if possible...
