[Feuer Frei!]

Originally Posted by Stealhead

The point though is when the host asks how much you want yet still gives more than you ask for.

Maybe they are just being generous. Their version of generous is maybe different than yours.
You see it as waste. They see it as being generous hosts. Not a biggy really.

To me this is rude if you are going to pile it on anyway then you should not ask what the guest wants.

Hospitality differs from household to household.
Some pile it on, some give you less.
Asking and then piling it on is not meant to embarrass you.
Take it as that.

I think feeding the dog is the better option in such awkward situations. If one is slick about it no one notices (except for the dog most pleased of course). And the over confident host thinks that you ate it all and feels wonderful as well.

If the host doesn't see it, yea, he'd be happy that you enjoyed their cooking.
But of course that's not the case, because you may, given that the host catches you feeding their dog the overly-generous portions, then i'd say the host has a few rights or reasons to be pissed.
Ground rule: never feed someone elses dog, that's the owner's job. Reasons for that i'm sure you know.
Secondly, host thinks the cooking is crap?
Thirdly, not respectful of the host's offer of (in your view) overly-generous portions?
Do the hosts ignore you when you say: Look this is way too much, i won't be able to eat it all?
If they do, then eat what you can and say i'm full.
If they don't, ask for the overly-generous portion(s) to be removed?

You have options.
It seems you don't exercise them too well.

In my house the food gets passed around and you take what you want in the portion that you want everyone is happy.

Every household has different rules.
Or at least, how food gets served to their dinner guests.

If you are around a household that is different than yours, you need to adjust to their hospitality.
Common sense and courtesy prevail.
If you can't do that, or you're busting a hernia over something like that, well, pass up on those dinner invites and maybe hold dinner around your house for them.
That way you know it will be done to your wishes, and you don't have to feed the dog on the sly.

Once again, you have options. Use them.