From your telling your father did the only right thing to do, me thinks. Funerals are for the living, not for the dead. When the living start politics about funerals, they show they are about power, and nothing else. Show them the door then, else they rape anyone else who maybe already struggles anyway with trying to find his personal way to accept the loss and cope with the sadness.
Even an anti-religious guy like me would not go to other people's funerals and tell them what to do and what not.
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If you feel nuts, consult an expert.
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