If it's settled, I can upload the save to some place and send a link to Oberon, so you can already start playing while I'm still updating.
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Oh God...emo-lad is approaching my county from the South and fishmen from the North. They are here soon! Why isn't anyone doing anything?! Why are they here anyway?! Why are they all heading to my lands?!
It must be a conspiracy!!
I have found the ringleader! I heard him talking to his beard last night when he thought I wasn't watching! It must contain miniature devil spawns that are trying to replace us! And he is a gardener too! He is growing them in his evil garden! Servant of the fish gods! The fishes are out there to get me! Have you seen how they look at me from my plate?!
Quick! Throw him in the dungeon before he poisons the well with his secret botanical serum and brainwashes us all to grow beards like that!
Oh noes! It's too late! He already lured my poor innocent wife into some of his nonsense!
A good tumbling should give her something else to think about. Poor woman.
Hmm...I'm no expert on brat biology, but this one seems to be missing something very vital.
Gasp! The poor thing! The little devil spawns must have crawled in my wife's womb while she was sleeping and bitten my poor innocent child! God, give me strenght to find the servants of these evil little invaders and send them to where they belong!
Huzaa! My relentless efforts against the servants of the fish gods have been successful! The fishmen packed their dragon boats and left back to the Odinland!
Not that my peasants helped. Someone has planted in their thick skulls an idea that I'm not treating them well and they don't want to fight for me.
It's the fault of the lice ridden beard man in my dungeon! He is sending telepathic waves with his hat! I think we should bash his skull a little bit to make it more difficult for him!
While guards are busy reshaping the evil conspirator's cranium, I concentrate on politics and call dips on this heiress of three counties on the South coast.
Stupid guards! They were in league with the fishmen and didn't do proper job! The telepathic waves are continuing, I know it from my headache. It's time I finish this for good! It's time to send the conspiring beard man to his masters in Hell.
Hmm, I'd better not write a return address to his box, so the Swedes won't send him back here...
As the little mumbling box floats further and further away and finally disappears behind the horizon, I still feel the headache. The telepathic waves are continuing. And this time they are coming from the West! Of course! The Welsh! It's the Welsh who are conspiring to prevent me from achieving my divinely inspired glory! How didn't I think of this sooner?
Since beardy happened to be rich and we couldn't fit all his possessions into the box, I now happen to have lots of money. I decide to use it to hire bunch of lads from the local tavern and together we leave on happy adventure in Wales.
Wtremblew wunwashedw wpretenderw! Wyourw wdaysw warew wnumberedw!
The cowardly Welsh count sent his men to fight me, but it turns out 200 men weren't enough to stop 1,700 Saxon tourists. So I tried meeting him in his castle, but he just closed the door and claimed he wasn't home. I suppose we'll have to kick it in to see if there is any truth in that.
Sieging is boring. Good thing I took with me something to kill the spare time with.
Hey, what do you know, he was home after all. Well, indeed: was. It's my home now. But I order the local carpenter to make him a new one. I think he would appreciate similar to that we gave to the beardy.
Meanwhile I'm informed that my poor, maimed child is not eager to do things. Well what wonder is that when it's missing the vital part to do anything interesting? It can't be because of me, because I'm not like that at all. Unfortunately the first five servants bringing these news just didn't get it.
Whaaaat?! Another one of those! It's worse than I thought! The little devils with their razor sharp claws have permanently infected my wife!