[Brag]

"Bernard, go below and sit on your hands," Balz growled. He then addressed Schmenk. "Fire when ready, if that´s Shaky Parkinson, so be it."
"And what about Haji Baba Jimbuna's tips?" Bernard asked.
"I told you to go below, you twit."
"Below what, Herr Kaleun?"
Balz saw a great opportunity. "Below the keel."
Instead of jumping overboard, as Balz hoped, Bernard dove through the hatch.
"Torpedo running, Herr Kaleun," Schmenk announced.
"Very good." Balz prepared to watch the destruction of the enemy ship.
His feeling of satisfaction evaporated when he heard the sound of hammering coming from inside. "Oh poopsendorfer," he said before bellowing into the hatch, "Bernaaaaard!"
Balz's shout was drowned by the torpedo exploding at the end of the freighter's forecastle.

Once Bernard was finishe writing I will never again try to chisel a hole in the hull one thousand times, Balz said, "Now get inside a potato sack and pretend you are a farting spud."

On the bridge spray flew as U-110 crashed against heavy seas, chasing after the convoy. Balz thought this was going to be one of those great patrols. So, far he had sunk two lone merchies. Now he was going to demolish this convoy. He smild thinking about the medals he would get.