[Brag]

"Prepare for action stations," Balz ordered.
The choir assembled in the Zentrale, duty twirlers took position in the living quarters.
"Begin!"
The choir broke into Balz Ist Ein Grosser Held Marsch.
Balz smiled. He liked the chorus lines, "Balz is our hero, he is, he is."
The march over, Balz asked the sound man. "Bearing?"
"New bearing zero eight five, numerous targets."
"Commence plot. Idle hands begin silent dancing, both engines ahead slow together," Seeing that everyone was performing as required, Balz busied himself selecting a suitable tea cozy for this attack. He decided that the duckie cozy was the most appropriate. He would wear the bunny one later, when the convoy was nearly destroyed.
"We are no longer on collision course," Schmenk announced.
"Bearings shifting rapidly toward three six zero," the sound man confirmed.
"Up periscope,"
Through the haze, Balz coud barely see a couple of ships. "Bastards changed cours." He swung the scope to starboard. A Flower Corvette was the only ship he could see clearly. "Target bearing zero five five., relative course zero four five one thousand two hundred., speed five knots. Flood tube one, depth one meter, down scope."
"You are not going to attack a lousy, stupid corvette?" Bernard said.
"Yes, I am."
"Waste a torpedo on eight hundred tons? We could save it and bag ten thousand tons with the same torpedo later. I spent many hours polishing that torp."
"Up scope," The Flower was right where Balz wanted it. "Einz, loss. Dive to fifty meters."
The torpedo wooshed out. Balz sat on the chart box and relaxed. Thirty seconds later an explosion followed by secondary blasts indicated the torpedo found its target.
"Bernard, you fool," Balz said, "That was not a wasted torpedo, it is a strategic investment toward the decimation of this convoy. That corvette went down not only with all hands on board but it also took many depth charges with it. These charges will not bother us. Since we will escort this convoy for a few weeks,that is very hoochie woochie worthy of a Tirpitz like hero such as myself.".