1 Glibness/superficial charm - CHECK
2 Grandiose sense of self-worth - CHECK
3 Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom - CHECK
4 Pathological lying - ON OCCASION
5 Cunning/manipulative - CHECK
6 Lack of remorse or guilt - CHECK
7 Shallow affect [i.e. superficial experience and expression of emotions] - CHECK
8 Callous/lack of empathy - CHECK
9 Parasitic lifestyle - NOPE
10 Poor behavioural controls - CHECK
11 Promiscuous sexual behaviour - USED TO
12 Early behaviour problems - CAN'T REMEMBER BUT I'M SURE THERE'S EVIDENCE SOMEWHERE
13 Lack of realistic long-term goals - CHECK
14 Impulsivity - CHECK
15 Irresponsibility - CHECK
16 Failure to accept responsibility for own actions - CHECK
17 Many short term marital relationships - SO FAR, NO
18 Juvenile delinquency - TOO OLD NOW
19 Revocation of conditional release - LOL WUT!
20 Criminal versatility - WHAT, GOOD A NICKING THINGS?