[Brag]

The U-boat Waffe commander had his icy stare fixed on Balz. The greatest hero of the Kriegsmarine stood at attention, but wasn´t going to be intimidated and stared right back.
"Why in the hell should I give you command of a type IX?" the admiral asked.
"Because of the acoustics, Herr Admiral."
"The type VII is just as quiet."
"My choir sounds better in the IX, I have tested it. The sound definitely improves in a IX."
Doenitz tapped the eraser of a pencil on his desk. "Choir?"
"Yes, Herr Admiral. It sings hoochie woochie. Can I now have a type IX sumbie?"
"No."
"But I have sunk a cruiser and have the Ritter Kreuz, I would look much better and more heroic in a type IX. You really should let me have one."
"No! and why are you carrying a shopping bag? You know, officers don't carry things in public, it is unsightly."
"I carry my medals and some tea cozies inside. If I presented you with a ducky tea cozy, can I have a IX?"
"No."
"A chicken one?" Balz reached inside his bag.
"Raus, raus, raus." Doenitz bellowed.