[Brag]

Doenitz finished signing a pile of orders, reached for the intercom button and said, “Let him in.”
“Let who in?” the secretary asked.
“Who was it who wanted in?”
“I don’t know who was who wanted in. There are several people waiting to see you. I guess they all want in.”
Doenitz sighed. “Alright, I´ll see them in alphabetical order.”
“I haven’t seen any alphabetical orders today. The courier from Berlin is not due ‘til eleven.”
“You don’t need alphabetical orders.”
“All right, mein Herr, I will send the first behind the second who is ahead of the queue and then the second who is ahead of the third.”
“ Ja ja, send him in.”
“Send who in?” The secretary asked.
“The man in front of the queue.”
The door opened and Doenitz blinked. He had never seen an officer with so many medals on his chest.
“Leutnant Balz reporting as ordered.” The man clicked his heels.
“Balz, what’s all that junk on your chest?”
Balz pointed with his index finger. “This one is the Glory to Balz medal, and this one is Balz The Hero of Labuan Medal and this—“
“Here, you will wear only Third Reich issued medals.”
“But, I don´t have any,” Balz protested.
“Tough luck. Remove that glittering junk.”
Doenitz picked up a folder. “Your boat, will be complete shortly. Here is your crew list.”
Balz took the folder, opened it and read:

Barnard Falz
Biernard Lutten
Boornard Bauer
Boernard Schlitz
Baurnard Holz
Beernard Morgenbau
Burgnard Appel
Basnard Rickenhoff
Bleahnard Strumpff
Braunard Kefpe . . .