[Brag]

As Balz stepped over the bodies of pirate guards sleeping on the jetty, he heard voices. "He forgot cigars, how can he leave without his tea cozy?" The voices were insistent. They caused ringing in his ears. The voices were hoochie. He had to do it, he had to run the gauntlet of one hundred and twelve sleeping sentries and get the essential items.

He placed the gold ingots, the cognac and caviar on the bottom of his new boat and chuckled. The voices forgot the smoking jacket.

Balz tippy-toed over the sleeping guards with the delicate steps of an elephant tippy toeing over a field of Dutch tulips.

He entered his former room and picked up a few more gold ingots from his mattress but did not get greedy. He put on his silk smoking jacket but could not find his tea cozy.

The voices said, "Ya gotta find it."

There was a noise outside.
Balz looked out the window.
One hundred and twelve guards had turned in their sleep.
Balz tippy toed to Sandokan's room.
Sure enough, the pirate slept wearing Balz's tea cozy. To retrieve what was rightfully his, Balz had to think like the hero he was. He rummaged in a box Sandokan had at the foot of his bed. He carefully removed a puzzle box, a leggo set and a toy tiger. He then took a teddy bear and placed it on Sandokan's chest.
Now came the most delicate part of the operation, The removal of the tea cozy was like brain surgery.
Sandokan let out a loud snore, mumbled something and embraced the Teddy bear.
Balz crooned softly, "Sleepa my pirate the bear is with you,
sleepa real well, or I'll send you to hell."
Sandokan mumbled something and turned. The one hundred and twelve sleeping guards turned, too.
Like a brain surgeon about to murder his patient, Balz raised his cutlass above Sandokan's head. With the other hand, like a dentist pulling teeth, he swiftly removed the tea cozy. Like a thief, he quickly left the room grabbing a box of cigars.
The hundred and twelve sleeping guards turned in their sleep while Balz delicately did his hoochie woochie steps over them.
"Alaaaaaaaaaaarm!" The scream ripped through the quiet of the tropical night.
Balz executed an elegant crash dive for his boat, released the docking lines and sailed away guided by the bright stars of the Southern Cross.

Ashore, Sandokan yelled. "We've been hoochie woochied. Radio the Royal Navy to hunt the bugger down."



Awright, guys. Any more bitching about forgotten items?