SUBSIM Radio Room Forums - Life aboard a submarine

I found this description of how it is to live on a submarine someplace, but I cannot remember where. If you know the author please inform me and I will give that submariner proper credit:

First of all fix up a shelf in your closet. Take the door off of the hinges. 6 hours after you go to sleep have your wife come by rip open the curtain and shine a light in your eyes and say "Sorry, wrong rack".
Eat only food that you get out of can and have to add water to. Also empty out your refrigerator and turn the temperature down to turn the refrigerator into a freezer. Get rid of all fresh fruit and vegetables.
Spend as much time as you can indoors, stay out of direct sunlight. Go to work only before sunrise and come home after sunset.
Repeat back everything that is said to you.
Sit in your car for six hours at a time with the motor running, Keep those hand on the wheel. But don't leave your driveway.
Put Lube Oil in your humidifier instead of water. Set it on High.
Don't watch movies except in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one.
For you old mechanics, Set your lawn mower in the middle of the living room while its running, Only for six hours a day.
Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
Take hourly readings on your water and your electric meters. But only for a six hour period.
Sleep with your dirty laundry.
Invite guests but don't prepare enough food for them, make sure the food is cold. Limit the time they sit at the table to 10 minutes.
Buy a trash compactor, use it only once a week. Store the rest of the garbage in your bathroom.
Wake up at midnight every night and make a peanut-butter sandwich, use stale bread, better yet make your own bread but cut 3 inch thick slices and use these. Optional: warm up some canned ravioli or cold soup.
Make your family a week long menu with out knowing what food is in the cabinets.
Set your alarm clock for various times at night, adjust the volume for the maximum, When it goes off jump up out of bed, get your clothes on as fast as you can, run outside and grab the garden hose.
Once a month take apart every appliance completely and then put it back together again.
Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or six hours before drinking it.
Invite at least 85 people you don't really like and have them stay for a couple of months.
Store your eggs in the garage for two months and then cook a dozen each morning.
Have a fluorescent lamp installed under your coffee table and then lie underneath it to read books.
Put a complicated lock on your basement door and wear a key around your neck.
When making cakes, prop up one side of the pan and then use extra icing to level it off.
Every so often, Yell "EMERGENCY DEEP", run into the kitchen, and sweep all pots, pans and dishes off of the counters and onto the floor, and then yell at your wife for not having the place "Stowed for Sea".
Put on the headphone to your stereo (don't plug them in), go to the stove and stand in front of it. Say (to no one in particular) "Stove manned and ready" stay there for 3 or 4 hours. Say (once again to no one in particular) "Stove secured", then roll up your headphone cord and put them away.
Pull out your refrigerator and clean behind it for 4 hours and then put it back when you are done. Have your wife come and check on you every 10 minutes with a flashlight to see how your are doing.
When doing you laundry fill it only 1/3 full, sit in front of your washing machine in your underwear and read a book or magazine you've read at least 5 times in the last week. When the wash is done, only run the dryer for half the normal time.