Redneck Poetry
 

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu."

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

:har: Git er done....

YeeeHaw.....:shucks: :har:

Both good for different reasons, but award goes to the Texan, IMHO.

:har::har::har:

Redneck Billy Joe and redneck Mary Sue are joined in holy matrimony.
They spend their wedding night at the Motel 6 Honeymoon Suite in
Parthenon, Arkansas. They've abstained from the big deed until this
very night. Just as Billy Joe is about to make love to his new wife
for the first time, she stops him.

"Wait, Billy Joe. I just thought you should know... this ain't just
our first time. It's my first time ever. I'm a virgin. I been savin'
myself just for you."

"Whut you say, Mary Sue?"

"I said, I'm a virgin. One hunnert percent cherry. Just for you on our
weddin' night."

"Yore a VIRGIN!?!" He asked somewhat shocked.

"That's right. Please be gentle."

"Gentle? Gentle my ass. I'm outta here!" With that, Billy Joe pulls up
his pants, hard-on and all, and leaves his virgin bride lying alone
and naked. He slams the door, gets in his pickup, and drives home.

"Paw! Paw! Wake up! Yore not gonna believe this!"

"Huh? Billy Joe, whut the hell you doin' here? It's 3am on yore
weddin' night! Why the hell ain't you and that purty new wife of yours
in a haystack somewhere doing it like rabbits?"

"Paw, I wuz all set to do just that, when Mary Sue up and tells me
that she's a virgin!"

"A VIRGIN?"

"That's right, Paw. One hunner percent cherry. As soon as she told
me, I got the hell outta there as fast as I could!"

"Well, son, lemme tell you, you did the right thing... Cuz if she
ain't good enough fer her own fam'ly, she certainly ain't good enough
for ours."

mmm, wincest jokes.

Good taste and a guarenteed stay in the brig prevents me from posting the only redneck joke I know.

If you really want to hear it, pm me.

WARNING it's a shocker.