Important message to all captains from Bdu medical teams.*Swine Flu alert*
 

Due to the current swine flu pandemic about to hit the world,its recommended that all captains should discard of all their sausages,pork pies etc,as a precautionary measure only.Emergency ventilation units must also be issued for each man for as long as possible.Any U-Boats running low on emergency Oxygen will therefore need to return to base on the surface only,and resupply as normal.We understand the impractical nature of this.
It is not known if and how many of you may be infected due to your recent activities abroad,yet we urge you all to remain calm,there is no cause for panic at the moment.

Keep up the good work all of you,and...godspeed.

Got enough "Tempotaschentücher" :haha:

Thats good :yep:

Shame these iron coffins of ours arent air conditioned,it would ease the concerns of the men a bit.One or two of them have already complained about minor breathing complaints :timeout:

Don't forget if you wake up with a flat nose, pointed ears and a screwy tail or in the middle of the night squealing you might be infected. Don't let any of your ship mates put an apple in your mouth they might be thinking of ham for dinner.

There is always a way to lift the spirits of the crew in times like this. Tell them jokes!

Navigator: So, how was your tip to Mexico?.
Kaleun: Not bad i guess, but it seems i cant get the jet lag off me. My head aches and i feel like a Type IIA after a deep charges attack.
Navigator: !!!

I wouldn't bother phoning the swine flu help line either,I tried and all I got was crackling :rotfl:........I'm sorry,thats the best I could come up with:shucks::oops::har:

Shocking mate :rotfl::up:

Eat as much pork as you like.
Leave the hatches open, sunbathe on the deck, breathe in unadulterated fresh air and you will be fine.:yeah:

Just don’t go any where near land.
Don’t meet any other people not on your boat.
Don’t dock with any Milch Cows.

If any of your crew has just got back from the pig breeders convention in Mexico then you’ve had it already. :down:Stock up on tissues, Vick, and paracetamol.

Don’t ask me what to do when you run out of fuel, food, torpedoes, fresh water etc. Hopefully by then the pandemic will be over, and you can look forward to the winter flu season.

(I’m a GP in my free time from silent hunting):damn:

Dirty buggers,don't ask me what they have been doing with the pigs for it to get into the human chain. :o:down:
Its like Aids in Africa,I reckon all this has been genetically engineered,as a sort of population control.Nothing surprises me in this screwed world anymore.
I know one thing,Bdu had better not send us anywhere near central America any time soon! we were looking forward to some latin crumpet too,we've never tried em before,great with butter,crumpets :woot:

My whole crew is infected. And it isn't the swine flu.

A shot of penicillin in the stern will fix them all up. :haha:

:D:haha:

Thank God.... the traffic in port will finally lighten up... :up:

And stay right away from women! sorry men the German Navy doesn't need sex before out to sea and coming home from patrol. :D

On my boat farting is prohibited after eating sausages. :D

On my boat, farting+sausages = Torpedo LOS!:dead: