SUBSIM Radio Room Forums - Bernard Saves Christmas (Balz)

Lt. FritZ Gwitz writes:

We were scheduled to leave on patrol on 20 December, however, while working on the electric circuits, Bernard managed to cook the port side generator buss. The yard electricians said the boat would not be able to sail for a week.

That is how we ended up spending Christmas in Lorient.

Balz ordered a Christmas tree placed on the conning tower and sent Bernard into town to get decorations.

An hour later, Bernard returned empty handed. "There are no Christmas decorations left anywhere." He explained. "The merchants say there is a war going on."

"Of course there is a war," Balz said. "Haven't you noticed?" He pointed at all the other U-boats decorated for the holiday. "They have trees and lights and look pretty. Look at us. Just a tea cozy on top of the periscope. When I give you a job to do, you must complete the task. You will have the boat ship-shape for Christmas by tomorrow!"

Balz went off to BDU headquarters. Bernard walked in circles on the dock, clutching his head. "What to do, what to do." He mumbled.

"Improvise." I suggested.

Bernard smiled. "What a great idea. "I'll borrow the choir and inspired by the hoochie-woochie, I'll have our U-boat rigged for Christmas action."

Singing carols, Bernard and the choir labored all night.
In the morning we had the prettiest submarine in the harbor.

Red, gold, blue sparkled from the tree., garlands hung from its branches and a chicken tea cozy crowned the top.

The crew formed on deck and stood at attention when Balz marched in.

Bernard saluted. "Das Boot iss ready for holiday inspection, Herr Kaleun."

"Very well. I must compliment you for a superb job done. Lets take a close look."

"Thank you, Herr Kaleun. You are a great inspiration."
"I expect you to be hugely inspired by my leadership. Ach, I love the smell of pine," Balz said as he climbed to the conning tower.

He took a close look at the decorations. "Hand grenades?"
"Yes Herr Kaleun, We painted them different colors while singing Christmas hoochie-woochie."

"And what is this made of?" Balz fingered a white chain wrapped around the tree.
"It's detonating cord."
Great improvisation. Great intiative. We shall commence the festivities--light the tree."

Bernard lit a match and set the tree on fire.

As grenades exploded, Balz and the rest of the crew dove overboard.

We had our Christmas dinner served in bed in the hospital while recovering from hypothermia.

Balz, the U-123 Twirling Choir, and Brag, wish all Subsimmers a joyous Holiday!