got my orders
 

i'm to patrol AN56 for 24hrs, and i'll be d@mmed if Bernard gets in my way, cuz if he does he'll be towing, in the water, my boat back to Kiel if i should run out of fuel

Either that or tell your men to get out the oars to conserve fuel for when you'll really need it.

Shove Bernard butt-first into the aft torpedo tube and feed him beans for the entire trip..

Hmm, Bernard would make a great sonar decoy.:rotfl:

On board a british destroyer...

DD Sonar Operator: "Sonar contact, bearing 350 short range... possibly submerged"

DD Capt: "Can you identify the sound?"

DD Sonar Operator: "Ummm, im stumped... i think its a whale... giving birth"

DD Capt: "What? seriously?"

DD Sonar Operator: "Perhaps you had better listen sir"

DD Capt: "Myyyyyy God"

DD Lookouts: "Sir! Dead fish! their surfacing everywhere around us!"

Why not just have Bernard attached to your U-boat by rope, and drag him behind whilst submerged - Instant hydrophone decoy.......

No somking around Bernard!:|\\