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29 reasons why skippering a fleet boat...

I found this list somewhere a while ago on the Internet (sorry, I don't recall the source). Anyways, without futher ado:

Quote:

Eighteen reasons why skippering a fleet boat, is better then skippering a Uboat:

1. Your control room doesn't double as a pantry.

2. Your crewman spend their free time playing pinocle and cribbage instead of picking their nose, flicking boogers, and complaining about sweaty feet and hair grease.

3. A battery recharge doesn't rob you of half your surface propulsion.

4. Your faster than a Uboat, both while on the surface, and while submerged.

5. Your admiral never held the title of "Führer", no matter how temporary the appointment was.

6. Your radar is actually useful, and you get it earlier then uboats.

7. You can use radar while submerged.

8. Your lookouts are higher up off the surface of the water, allowing them to see farther then they could from just the conning tower bridge.

9. Your AA gun arrangment doesn't leave a huge blind spot in the front of the boat.

10. You have greater or equal firepower to any uboat class, in just your bow alone.

11. You don't have to store torpedo's externally in order to carry a sufficient payload to your patrol area.

12. You never have to park your boat in a bomb shelter while in port.

13. For Rest and recreation you get sun tanned island girls in Hawaii instead of overused french prostitutes that have rouge plastered onto their faces like stucco.

14. Your crew jerry rigged an ice cream machine on board.

15. You don't share your cabin with members of the crew.

16. The flag under which your sailing isn't associated with things like racial bigotry, death camps, the SS, or the Gestapo.

17. You actually win the war instead of lose it.

18. Your boat is so well designed and built, it stays in service well into the cold war.

19. Your TDC is much more advanced than the U-Boat's

20. Three knots at silent running instead of one.

21. A complex and effective ballast system that means "all hands forward" is a commond not heard on a fleet boat.

22. Your crew is much better protected during heavy seas in the fleet boat conning tower.

23. Four diesels instead of two gives you more redundancy to get you home safely.

24. Welded, not riveted, construction makes the boat more resistant to depth charge attacks.

25. The crew is taken care of better because of decent food and air conditioning, making a significant difference in combat readiness.

26. Your boat has a name. It is special. You are NOT expendable. U-Boats had numbers. So you got sunk? NEXT!!! Number 567, you're up!

27. If you play your cards right you just might get a flying fish dinner after a night patrolling the surface.

28. The food is actually refrigerated so eating molding bread and other staples is not the norm as found on Uboats.

29. There is more then one head in case any of the crews boilers start acting up and in a state of emergency!

:yep: :p

Quote:

13. For Rest and recreation you get sun tanned island girls in Hawaii instead of overused french prostitutes that have rouge plastered onto their faces like stucco.

:arrgh!::rock:

here we go again:roll:

how did you get from 18 to 29 anyway?

Quote:

Originally Posted by joegrundman

how did you get from 18 to 29 anyway?

He's on the 2nd grade now, they start learning the 2 digit numbers there. :rotfl:

He also forgot the exceedingly important point 30

you only have to deal with 3rd rate japanese ASW instead of British and American ASW

and point 31

your opponent has a gdp of 1/10 yours and so cannot hope to rebuild losses, whereas their opponent has a combined gdp about 6x greater and no matter what the u-boats do, it makes no difference

1 reason to skipper a u-boot:

1) when you fire a torpedo at a ship, provided that you aim is decent, you have a good chance it will explode

Quote:

Originally Posted by joegrundman

He also forgot the exceedingly important point 30

you only have to deal with 3rd rate japanese ASW instead of British and American ASW

http://www.ussubvetsofworldwarii.org/RememberIndex.html

Oh yes, quite third rate! Those Japanese couldn't drop a depth charge if their life depended on it!

and

Quote:

1 reason to skipper a u-boot:

1) when you fire a torpedo at a ship, provided that you aim is decent, you have a good chance it will explode

Gunther Prien might object to that statement. (Cough) "Dummy Rifle" quote (/cough)

Quote:

Originally Posted by LukeFF

I found this list somewhere a while ago on the Internet (sorry, I don't recall the source).

I remember who the source was, I also remember the others that were adding to it.

FYI, when you copy & paste from one forum to another it's best to check what you're posting.

Quote:

Eighteen reasons why skippering a fleet boat, is better then skippering a Uboat:

Except your 'randomly found list from the internet' runs from 1 - 29. Nice.

Keep them coming, I'm sure it's working.:up:

I'm sure a corresponding list could be made for skippering a u-boat. Let's see:

1. The Kriegmarine, where growing a beard is an art form! Our appearance alone is enough to sink ships. Arrrrrrrrr! American wimps!

2. Togetherness: tightly integrated doesn't even begin to describe 46 men in a little Type VII.

3. Lots of enemy to fight. We don't have to deadhead 3000 miles and then come up empty.

4. Can you say 20 knot acoustic homing torpedo?

5. Ziz-zag and ladder pattern anti-convoy and anti-escort torpedoes.

6. On a U-Boat, we don't waste time estimating AoB by eye. Somebody fill in the blank for the device in the OLC GUI.

Hey, I can't do ALL your work for you. Get to work on your own list. A list of fleet boat characteristics doesn't have to be threatening, although if the Germans had a fleet of fleet boats instead of Type VII's they would have been better served. But they could not have known that at the beginning of the war or they would have produced more Type IX's. Just thought of another one.

7. You don't have to worry about what you're going to do after the war.

8. When you sink an enemy warship or infiltrate Scapa Flow you are a hero of the fatherland, known the world over.

Look! I can't count to two. That must discredit my entire post if we follow earlier attempted reasoning. U-Boat guys: it's a GAME. You're supposed to have FUN. Sheesh!

2 reasons why skippering both Fleet Boats and U-Boats isnt as great as it seems:

1) Wives
2) Girlfriends

One reason why people should keep things in perspective.

1) They're games.

JCC

2) The war is over. :p :88)

Alex

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Channing

One reason why people should keep things in perspective.

1) They're games.

JCC

Precisely :yep:

Looks like more movement in the peanut gallery again.

http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/6...corncowtx0.gif

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/d...ubsimfools.gif

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Channing

One reason why people should keep things in perspective.

1) They're games.

JCC

:rotfl:

Hey, I'm the author of a few of the fleet boat and now the entire u-boat list! I like both boats. But that doesn't mean that there aren't advantages and disadvantages of both. I haven't heard one person talk about Donitz' tenure as Fuhrer and how he discharged that responsibility. He focused exclusively at bringing the war to a close as soon as possible, with the fewest number of German casualties. He was NOT a Nazi.

All I see from the U-Boat crowd is grousing, not participating in something that should be fun and informative. Accusing Luke of being counting challenged is not a substitute for successfully advocating your favorite boat. Get to it! I gave you a decent start, which I give you license to edit as you please.

Or you can continue to confuse a light-hearted advocacy of fleet boats as an attack on your manhood. They say you can always tell a German, but you can't tell him much. Don't identify with your favorite boat to the extent that you exemplify this "only accurate enough to be funny" characature of the German mindset.

My addition are #27,#28 and #29. I thought them quite clever:D Back to reality and reality check....enter John Channing and I quote....."It is a game"

One reason why sailing a u-boot is better than sex :

-you can do it with 50 stinky and sweaty men without anybody looking at you funny :|\\

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikhayl

One reason why sailing a u-boot is better than sex :

-you can do it with 50 stinky and sweaty men without anybody looking at you funny :|\\

Oh my, the imagery here....:o. I believe I will skip this movie:rotfl:

Quote:

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikhayl

One reason why sailing a u-boot is better than sex :

-you can do it with 50 stinky and sweaty men without anybody looking at you funny :|\\

Oh my, the imagery here....:o. I believe I will skip this movie:rotfl:

Oh come on, don't tell me you would skip that scene when a dozen of half naked sweaty men grease some big torpedoes ? :D