NIGHTHAWKS FIRST TEAM TO PLAYOFFS
Gunners Rob The Taipans For a Third Time

Week 10 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and a week after we talked about nobody putting up a record breaking score, the Gunners make amends and hand the Helmand Nighthawks the Surface Skimmers Division. We'll get all the implications, right after we make the most important announcement you'll hear this week.


NOMINATE FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Week Ten, the first week of the last weeks of the season for those that will not make the play offs. There are three possible teams in contention, and if one team doesn't get their act together, a potential fourth. Let's go around the grounds from the bottom up and get the latest scuttlebutt.

Black Cats and Drunk Monkeys. Defending Torpedo Bowl Champions show some of the award wining form this week as they wrestle with the Drunk Monkeys for their bottom of the table match. Several weeks ago Coach Gargamel was lamenting the loss of all his "blue chip players". Doesn't help himself when he starts both Phillip Rivers (QB) and the Atlanta Falcons (DEF) who were away on a scheduled absence, leaving his team to record the lowest ever score.

"Uh, yeah, we screwed that one up," Coach Gargamel told the Press after the game. He also added "How about them apples B*****, screw you guys, I'm going home."

Deja Vu.

Black Cats insistence that all their players be contracted to the lower league Carolina Panthers gets them one more win and keeps them in the hunt. Cats put up a respectable score, lead by their only non Panther player, running back Adrian Peterson. Cats win 131- 55, one of the biggest winning gaps this year.

Our best match of the week was the third match up between the Guns of Hochuli and the Australian Taipans. These two teams have gone at each other's throats this season, putting up high end scores, and none of them in the Taipans favor. This game even started with opposing defenses on Thursday, with the Bills (Guns of Hochuli) outscoring the Jets (Taipns), just. And it was that "just in time" scoring that kept the Gunners in the game the whole weekend.

Aaron Rodgers (QB) with 12 seconds to go in the game, throws for 15 yards to go over 300 yards and a touchdown, bumps his score by 12 points. O'dell Beckham (WR) with eight seconds to go in the game, catches a 15 touchdown to go over 100 yards, another 12 points. Rob Gronkowsi (TE) catches a 1 yard TD, goes over 100 yards and also scores an additional 12 points. Those three players in the last 12 seconds of their games give the Guns of Hochuli just enough spread to get them home. And they needed it too, Taipans came after them but in the end Andy Dalton (QB) was asked to score 40 points more than predicted on Monday night. Guns of Hochuli make it three from three against the Taipans 190 - 130.

Our match of the week was the Who Dat Nation and the Helmand Nighthawks. The Gunners hold a steadfast 4-0 grasp on the division but if the Nation wanted that #2 seed, they had to win this game. The Nighthawks own the Surface Skimmers division with several weeks still to play and only need one week to secure the top two seeds, so it was to their benefit to get the win over the Nation. This was a nothing game, with no body on either team doing anything spectacular. Not even the defense or Kickers for either team made anything of an impact. On Monday Night the Nighthawks still had Tyler Eiffert (TE) and the Bengals (DEF) still to play, and provided they showed up, the game was theirs. First half of Monday night saw Eifert kept to just one catch and the defense had just 8 points. A last minute interception at the end of Monday Night first half saw the Nighthawks open up a 2.1 point lead, but it would it be enough?

Second half, Eiffert did nothing and the Bengals (DEF) let in a touchdown. This game was down to the final seconds, which as we know, almost always requires a rewrite of this column. Three dropped catches by Eiffert did no favors, and it was probably fortunate that they turned the ball over with no time left on the clock, leaving the Helmand Nighthawks with an improbable 89.46 - 85.16 win against the Who Dat Nation, to advance to 9-1.

At the end of week ten we have the first team secured for the playoffs. The Helmand Nighthawks at 9-1 and 4-0 within the division cannot be beaten out of the divisional title. Nighthawks wrap up the first playoff position and set their sights on the #1 seed in the post season. The loss by the Australian Taipans eliminates them from the divisional race (like they were in it) and now they have to stay alive against the Black Cats as well as the other division. The win by the Black Cats draws them level to the Taipans at 3-7, however, the Cats have a lower seeding that the Taipans by virtue of their divisional games. The Black Cats are 0-3 within the division while the Taipans are 1-2. Cats will need to beat both the Taipans and the Nighthawks in the next few weeks to stay alive in the playoff race.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, the entire division is up for grabs, even for the Drunk Monkeys at 3-7. The Monkeys are three games back of the other two teams but are mathematically possible of taking the division. The more realistic approach is that the Drunk Monkeys may end up playing spoiler. The Guns of Hochuli and the Who Dat Nation are both 6-4, but the Gunners have a 4-0 divisional record. The Who Dat Nation is going to have not only defeat the Gunners at least once, but need the Monkeys to win one of their match ups against the Gunners in order to reduce the divisional game difference. The loss by What Dat Nation this week to the Helmand Nighthawks, on such a low score, was an opportunity wasted to take control of their own destiny, and this one game, may prove to be the difference in the play off seedings.

So, what does that mean for next weeks game. We go back across the pond as the Helmand Nighthawks host the Guns of Hochuli. The #1 and the expected #2 seed meet up, but the #3 seed will be hoping for favorable results to stay in the hunt. And we'll be there to give you another blow by blow account.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

We finally get to see former Commissioner McBee's favorite player show up and earn their first accolade of the year. For the effort of 203 rushing yards, 1 rushing touchdown and 2 receptions for 13 yards, for a total of 35.60 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present (the purple Jesus) Adrian Peterson of the Black cats the Week Ten MVT.


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BLACK CATS RISE AGAIN
Thriller at Top of The League

Week 10 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. And as we get ready for the longest weekend of football where we give thanks, some teams were celebrated a little early. We'll show you how the Black Cats mashed the Taipans. How the Who Dat Nation was barely able to get out of the stadium by the skin of their teeth. And we'll tell you who is in a jam from the Nighthawks and Gunners game.

But before we out a fork in anyone, here's the best way to give thanks for this column.


NOMINATE FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Week Eleven, the final week before the longest weekend of the year, and the week that sets up some teams to rise or fail. Let's start with the Defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Black Cats. The Cats have not shown any strength in their team, with the exception of one week. They've been up and down, rubbing their fur on the table, getting hair everywhere as they met the Taipans. The Cats and the Taipans had a thriller several weeks ago, but the Cat were having none of that this week sending the Taipans packing licking their wounds. Cats arrived at the ground and were ready to play, and out play the Taipans in all facets of the game. Taipans just don't seem to be able to get a break as they encounter their fourth team to put up 40% above projected scores. This game was over by mid-morning Sunday and I'm surprised that the fans were given refunds as they trolled out the game. Black Cats beat the Taipans 170 - 120, and the Taipans for the fourth week would have beaten every team in the league, except the one they played.

Out in Oregon, the Who Dat Nation can consider themselves lucky that they're still in the chase and didn't get handed one of the unexpected losses that occur when a nothing team comes to town and you've favored by the width of Texas to win. This week the visitors were divisional rival the Drunk Monkeys. Monkeys are still in with a real chance to make the Championship Division if they could just show up with the correct team. Some guy on their team wearing #17 was masquerading as Phillip Rivers and only threw for 178 and took three sacks. Ouch. The Monkeys also started Alshon Jeffrey who was ruled out this game about a month ago. Monkeys look like they're turning into a ghost town, and yet they still gave the Nation a run for their money. The Nation started Derek Carr (QB) who must have been smoking weed or something because he did nothing. (Can you say weed on Subsim?) The Nation's only saving grace was their WR Julio Jones who individually showed up and put 31 unanswered pioints ont he board, about a third of the entire team. Who Dat Nation gets out of jail on what should have been a stolen victory for the Drunk Monkeys. Final score Who Dat 102 - Drunk Monkeys 86.

Our match of the game, our top of the table clash, the potential preview of the Torpedo Bowl Championship was slatted for the Helmand Nighthawks and the Guns of Hochuli. Until this week the Gunners one advantage that they have had has been their ability to keep on scoring, and unlike the Taipans, having the leagues most prolific scoring team has earned them some wins they otherwise may not have got. The Nighthawks have just cruised their way through the first half of the season eliminating divisional rivals, and now appear to have just sat back, put the team on cruise control, and just wait out one more win in the next few games to cement their #1 seeding. Well, the Gunners had their own opinions on that matter, and this turned into a great defensive battle, without a lot of defense being played. In a low scoring game, Guns of Hochuli QB Aaron Rodgers and WR Deandre Hopkins put up half of the Gunners score early Sunday as the rest of the teams just wavered and showed up. Unlike the Gunner, Helmand Nighthawk QB Tom Brady missed the first half, and jeopardized their teams winning streak and their form going into the playoffs. On late Monday night, Brady finally threw a touchdown to level the scores, but, the Gunners starters had both Rob Gronkowski (TE) Stephen Gostowski (K) and the Bills Defence on the field at the same time. With the low scoring game the damage to the Gunners tally was limited until the last half of Monday night. What were you thinking Gunners? Rookie mistakes such as this and starting the injured Marshawn Lynch (RB) cost you the opportunity to take an easy one away from the Helmand Nighthawks. Nighthawks get by on Gunners mistakes to win the game 110 - 104.

"Uh, yeah, we screwed that one up," Coach Casey told the Press after the game. He also added "How about them apples B*****, screw you guys, I'm going home."

Deja Vu.

So, before we get to the Thanksgiving games, let's reset the divisions and see what everyone is playing for.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, the Helmand Nighthakws can take a bye week at their leisure as they manhandle the division at 10-1. Nighthawks will start in the playoffs as either the #1 or #2 seed, nothing to play for until then. The Black Cats monstrous score over the Taipans does wonders for their ego, moving them to 4-7 but keeping the same divisional record as the Taipans. The Cats and the Taipans have scored about the same number of points, but it's been opposing teams racking up big scores that has kept the Taipans at 3-8.

In the Sub Skimmers Division, results from other games have left the Who Dat Nation at 7-4 and one game ahead of the Guns of Hochuli. The Guns hold the divisional tie breakers at 4-0 and their loss this week drops them back about a game and a half. As strange as it sounds, the Gunners are more prone to be eliminated from the playoffs then the third team in the division, the Drunk Monkeys at 3-8.

As we head into the longest weekend of football in the year, the Subsim League is faced with an issue not experienced before - which game to call our best game of the week? The top of the ladder Helmand Nighthawks travel to the bottom of the ladder Black Cats. The Cats put up a firestorm of points this week, could it carry over and take out the league leader and force the tiebreaker for the #4 play off seed?

Gunners after dropping a close one with some poor personnel choices, are at home when the Drunk Monkeys come to town. Monkeys were unlucky not to knock off one of the league leaders this week and they get a second chance to....almost knock off a league leader this week. Gunners loss to the Nighthawks put them one game back of Divisional Leader Who Dat nation, who by default, get the match of the Day.

Who Dat Nation host the Australian Taipans for the third time this season in Oregon. Taipans have the hardest schedule in the league with everybody scoring points against them, but their offense has not really kept pace. (Du'h). Who Dat nation, having stolen one of the wins the needed to get to the playoffs, could put the Taipans away here, knock them out of the playoffs and cement their own future as the #2 seed. Who Dat host the Taipans in our Thanksgiving game of the week.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

It's a repeat this week from last week, could this be the sign of the fur rising? For the effort of 246 passing yards, 5 touchdowns and 16 rushing yards, for a total of 40.44 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Cam Newton of the Black Cats the Week Eleven MVT.


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CONTROVERSY SURROUNDS NIGHTHAWKS CLINCHING
Statistician Error Not Reported

Week 12 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. It's the longest weekend of football for the year, and for some coaches, the end could not come soon enough. The end is not neigh for any team, as we had some very unusual scoring combinations - and unknown to at least one Coach, their win may be in jeopardy following a review.

Who's looking at a possible loss just for showing up on the weekend? We'll tell you about that right after this very important.


NOMINATE FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR BEST OF SUBSIM...CAUSE NO ONE HAS.

What's a week of football without a little controversy, and if we're going to have controversy, you just know it will center around Helmand Nighthawk QB Tom Brady. This week the Nighthawks were playing the Black Cats. Both teams are one time Champions but this week the Cats once again showed up with the brain in neutral, starting Tedd Ginn. Ginn sat on the sideline in a well publicized absence, and the Cats got zero points from him. On the other side of the field, the Press Box was all a twitter with the crappy performance of Demarco Murray (RB). Murray rushed for about 30 yards, which pales into comparison the workload from Cats RB Adrian Peterson who scored 38 points. On late Sunday the Nighthawks were in trouble, trailing by over 30 points with just Tom Brady (QB) to play in the snow. Brady threw, rushed, and got close and it looked like it was going to be a close decision at the end of the game. With less than 4 minutes to go Brady was sacked - but, the scorer did not record the sack. Coach FYC was throwing red flags, chairs, Tedd Ginn (cause he'd done nothing else so why not) out on to the field to get the attention of the referees.

"Nope, we're having nothing of you BS, get back on the sideline" was the Umpires response to Coach FYC.

The Coach retreated, cursing and swearing as the game drew closer and closer, and the sack was not recorded against Brady. In the dying minutes of the game, Brady manged to cheat, I mean crawl his way to 280 yards, and with the tree touchdowns, score 27.70 points, and give the Nighthawks the win.

A formal protest has been lodged with Statisticians and while the Nighthawks narrowly hang onto the win 141.7 - 140.62, this game is not final. It will be Thursday before the league announces their decision, but we'll proceed with the Nighthawk win at the end of the column.

Our match of the day this week was the Who Dat Nation as they hosted the Australian Taipans for the third time. Taipans have qualified for their own locker room at both the Who Dat Nation and Guns of Hochuli fields, but this game would prove pivotal for the end of year seeding. Nation rolled out onto the field, and just didn't seem to have it there. Perhaps lethargy crept in having beaten the Taipans before, and for that, they paid a price. Taipans showed up and Eddie Lacy (RB) finally showed his worthiness of a first round pick by finally putting up 27 point score. Taipans held the game in a stronghold and ended up opening a comfortably lead. The Who Dat Nation were unable to rally behind Drew Brees (QB) and rack up another record breaking score, allowing the Tapans to comfortably win the game. Taipans get one back from the Nation 137 - 99..

The third and final game, and with it, more questions being asked. The Guns of Hochuli sitting 4-0 in the division could shut out up to three teams this weekend with a win. Opposing them were the Drunk Monkeys, who for yet another week, had their red ass in the air as they started hospitalized Dione Lewis (WR). C'mon man, enough already, he's not coming back, get him off your team. Surprisingly, the Monkeys rallied with two 40+ points scorers on the team. Gunners, after a slow start by QB Aaron Rodgers, just never got going all weekend, slowed by turkey inners and running to the bathroom. The interchange bench and portable toilets at the Gunners home field were in short supply, meaning longer lines. Gunners had one highlight with O'Dell Beckham once again reaching across a gap the width of the Grand Canyon to pull in a catch, probably better than last years.

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Guns of Hochuli then stutter, as they continued to congratulate each other into the fourth quarter on the second quarter catch. Drunk Monkeys scored three quick touchdowns and suddenly, the Gunners were behind with dire consequences. Having run out of time, the Drunk Monkeys finally become the first divisional team to take a game from Coach Casey, as they defeat the Guns of Hochuli 139 - 108.

Now while the jury is still out on the Helmand Nighthawks score, we're going to reset the table and proceed as though Tom Brady doesn't get penalized.

#1 Seed: The Helmand Nighthawks win the regular season. They cleared out on the rest of the league and set sail for the championship. With just two more weeks to go, the Nighthawks can take the balance of the regular season off to go to Bali, and come back in the playoffs. Nighthawks clinch the Surface Skimmers Division and the #1 seed.

Clinched: The Who Dat Nation, despite the loss to the Australian Taipans this week, clinch a play off berth. At 7-5 they're above .500% score will leave them in the Championship Bracket, as either the #2 or the #3 seed. A favorable loss by the Guns of Hochuli this week puts them in a position to win the division. The downside to it is that although they may win the division, it appears that they may still be playing the Gunners in one form or another in the playoffs.

In Trouble: Having already beaten the Taipans three times this year, the Guns of Hochuli probably wished that they had them on the schedule in the next two weeks. The Gunners are 3-6 when playing anyone but the Taipans, and in trouble. Having been handed their first divisional loss this week, the Gunners can still win the division, but they are going to need help. Their path to the playoffs runs through both the current #1 and #2 teams. Gunners need to win both, and get some help. They're not out of it, yet, but they have the most to loose.

The Brawl: Look down the ladder and the best 4-8 teams you've ever seen are all tied up. Unless there's a monumental crash at the top of the table, only one of these teams will be making an appearance in the Championship Division. The Drunk Monkeys have to play the Black Cats and the Who Dat Nation in the last two weeks. Wins in both games could elevate them as high as the #3 seed. The Black Cats have to play both the Drunk Monkeys and the Taipans in the last two weeks, and even if they beat the Monkeys in Week 13, are going to need help, despite having the easiest run into the playoffs. The Taipans play both the Drunk Monkeys and the Helmand Nighthawks, yikes, and look to finish the year at the bottom of the ladder.

Not too hard to pick mext weeks Match of the Day, its the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation. Divisional title and a possible preliminary bout for the first week of the playoffs, these two teams will meet again, and this week, the Gunners have more portable toilets available. It's not over yet but the line in Vegas says that if anyone is going to beat Mister Christ and the Helmand Nighthakws, it will probably come out of this game.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

While the winner of this weeks award hasn't very many wins for his team, his reward this week was to keep his 4-8 coach in the playoff hunt. For the effort of 300 passing yards, 4 touchdowns and 9 rushing yards, for a total of 41.90 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Phillip Rivers of the Drunk Monkeys the Week Twelve .MVT.


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3 SEEDS CLINCHED
3 Teams Fighting For 4th

Week 13 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and one shock loss has just disrupted the entire bottom half of the league. We'll run the numbers for you but it still adds up to three teams are now clinched, but we have no less than four teams fighting for a position, with three teams on the outside looking in.

This was the week that saw potty mouths, gaping mouths and gob smacked mouths as we run through what was one probably the most upsetting week in the league this year, leaving the post season wide open. But before we fill your mouth with all the details, sink you teeth into this delicious nugget.


NOMINATE FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR BEST OF SUBSIM...CAUSE NO ONE HAS.

Last week we talked about the one statistic that may change. It seems that Mister Chris and the Nighthawks have more money than the league at this time for the statistic was not reversed. Nighthawks keep their win thanks to a scoring error and move into this weeks game waiting the arrival of the cursive Australian.

Paging Mister Potty Mouth, Coach Pioneer. Please report to the soap bar for assistance.

What on earth happened in the locker room before the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Taipans again. Was it the long haul across the pond, was it three consecutive losses to the #1 seeds, or was it the fact that the Taipans running backs didn't even show up, scoring less combined points that TY Hilton, WR for the Nighthawks. Oh, this was all over the media starting Thursday during the game with Eddie Lacey (RB) and continuing Sunday with Todd Gurley (RB). The Nighthawks came out and kept the game close until Sunday morning when they just stacked on the points, as any good 11-1 team should. Nighthawks dominated the Taipans setting up a cricket score for the Taipans to chase. And chase they did with Antonio Brown (WR) turning in a 43 point performance to bring the deficit down to less than 24 points. All the Taipans needed was Jordan Reed to catch over 100 yards and 2 touchdowns to get win the win. Never going to happen. Nighthawks make it 3-0 over the Taipans as they cement their ranking as the #1 seed with a 151 - 129 point win over the Taipans.

Our match of the day this week was a ball tearer between the Guns of Hochuli and the Who Dat Nation. The Gunners have owned the Sub Skimmer division, going 4-1, but have struggled to get the wins lately against other opponents. Meanwhile, the Who Dat Nation under the leadership of Coach Fuel for Blood laid it all on the line in what may be a prelude to the same game in two weeks time. Gunner fans were rejoicing as their team finished out Sunday with a very respectful 158 points. Who Dat Nation introduced Ben Roethlissburger (QB) who just stunned everyone throwing for about 5 miles in the game. (Seriously, since Ben has come back from injury, if he hasn't played himself into contention as a league MVP for the entire season, who does he have to beat?) Who Dat Nation comes to within 2 points of the Gunners and just needs Darren McFadden (RB) to hang on to the ball to take the win. McFadden drops the ball not once, but twice on Monday night, before finally catching one dinky pass for about 6 yards to give the Nation the lead for the first time. And that was the end of his night too, doing almost nothing after that. Winning it on Monday night when they probably shouldn't have, Who Dat Nation shock the Guns of Hochuli in a thriller 166 - 158.

Our final game of the week is the one that threw the cats among the pigeons. The Black Cats are not the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions for no reason, and with their season on the line, they needed absolutely everything they could muster to put this one together. Hosting the Drunk Monkeys who appear to have turned into a Ghost team - yet still in contention for the post season. The Cats needed to put one of their finer games together to not only get the win, but to put enough points on the board that the pursuing teams are going to have difficult time overcoming. Black Cats blow the Monkeys away 163 - 117 and almost shut the door on their post season hopes.

With just one week to go, let's reset the league ladder with what we know and give you some scenarios.

#1 Seed: The Helmand Nighthawks win the regular season. They locked up the #1 seed weeks ago and unless something happens, look to be the strongest team in the league.

#2 Seed: The win by the Who Dat Nation over the Guns of Hochuli hands the #2 and the divisional title to Coach Fuel For Blood. The Nation has just steadfastly continued to roll whereas the Gunners after starting red hot, have struggled against everyone else (except the Taipans.) Holding a two game lead, the Nation gets to sit back and wait out their opponent in two week. It may very well be a rematch against the Guns of Hochuli.

Clinched a Playoff berth: Despite suffering the shock loss to the Who Dat Nation, the Guns of Hochuli have clinched a seed, it's just not yet determined if it's the #3 or #4 seed. The Gunners started the season just laying waste to everyone, then turned into a glob of ash at the back end of the season. By not defeating the Nation, Gunners forfeit the #2 which they have owed all year, and now sit looking at their fate. A win in week 14 will see them in the #3 seed. A loss may still see them take the #3 seed depending on the results of other games. What the Gunners probably don't want to happen is to see them drop to the #4 seed and have to take on the Helmand Nighthawks in the first round of the playoffs.

Almost Done: The Drunk Monkeys are one of two teams sitting at 4-8. The Monkeys are on the outside rubbing lamps looking for a genie to help them into the playoffs. The Monkeys can still make it into the play offs as the #4 seed but they not only have to beat the #2 seed, the Who Dat Nation Rises, but, they also have to achieve their highest score of the year. The Monkeys start 100 points behind on for and against and are looking for a miracle, and some help, to make it to the playoffs. But if a Ghost Team can still be in contention, why can't they make it.

Who's It Going To be: The Black Cats sitting at 5-8 and with 1736 points are currently sitting in the #4 seed. A win next week and they are in, no one can take that away from them. But, a loss, and they could be in the Dog House. The Black Cats have had one exceptionally high scoring game, but otherwise, have meandered back and forth between greatness and down right terrible. If they have a poor game next week, the Cats could find their dreams of a repeat bowl appearance nothing more than a bad bite.

And the Taipans are right there. The Taipans sit one game back at 4-9 and about 50 points in arrears to the Cats. The Taipans have had a year where everybody has put up big scores against them. If the Taipans can get a win and continue on with a reasonable score, they may just force their way into the #4 seed. It's all or go home for the Taipans next week.

And that's exactly where our match of the game is next week, top end, down under as the Taipans make the Black Cats cross the water. With two seeds already confirmed, this is the game they will decide the fate for four teams in the league. Black Cats and Taipans have split their series 1-1 this year, the decider is important. Black Cats don't even have to win this game, they just have to not let the Taipans get a 50 point lead on them. If the Cats score less than 100 points, than this game could be wild.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. This was not a hard choice to pick.

For the effort of 364 passing yards, 4 touchdowns, a 2 point conversation and 13 rushing yards, for a total of 47.86 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Ben Roethlisberger of the Who Dat Nation the Week Thirteen MVT.


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BLACK CATS SEND A MESSAGE
Gunners Upset #1 Seed

Week 14 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and we have our four teams headed to the playoffs, two teams that get great stadium seats for the first game before they go to decide first pick of the draft, and one spectacular score (again) sending the clear message that you don't just win a Torpedo Bowl and run off into the distance.

We'll go around the grounds and have a closer look at the final play off seedings, and give you some ponderous thoughts about the heavily favored champion that may face a first round loss, and the match up that may set the barrels alight for one team who seems to have it's **bang** in the last weeks of the regular season.

But before we doing any of that, let's recap the most important story of the day, that you can contribute to.


NOMINATE FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR BEST OF SUBSIM...AND VOTE EARLY.

Our Match of the Week was across the pacific and fortunately thank to timezones, this game was over by quarter time on Sunday, giving us just enough time to catch a taxi to the airport, jump on a Qantas flight and hightail it back to a far more interesting game that had the same amount of inevitability. Australian Taipans hosted the Black Cats this week in a divisional rival match up that had seen each team take one apiece. Black Cats and Coach FYC have been ridding on the back of a lot of Panthers and a historical high score. The Taipans, who everyone has beat up on with high scores, needed not only to win this game, but had to lead the Black Cats by at least 51 points to force this into a tie breaker. Thursday night weak performance by both teams hurt the Taipans the most who really needed their star receiver Larry Fitzgerald (WR) to score multiple times. It didn't happen, at least not until Sunday morning when the Black Cats just came in and began to turn the scoreboard wheels like a Las Vegas slot. Black Cats lay down an asp beating (Did you see what I did there? :rock:) on the Taipans 180 - 119. Black Cats finish the season at 5-8 and make it to the play offs as the uncontested #4 seed. Taipans have to wait out the another game to find out if they finish at the bottom of the ladder behind the ghost team.

A spokesperson from former Comissioner McBee is reported to have said "See, not so easy now is it. Commissioner's curse."

Back in the Homeland, the Guns of Hochuli were hosting the league leading Helmand Nighthawks. In a nothing match that could very well end up repeating itself in two weeks, the two most interesting teams in the league met for one last brawl. The Nighthawks have scored the second most points in the league, beaten only by the Guns of Hochuli. The difference between the two has been the oppositions scores. The Gunners are the #2 team in the league with points scored against them, which has been the contributing factor to their losing record. Gunners came out with QB Aaron Rodgers who scored almost a quarter of their team points single highhandedly. The Gunners started 60 points in arrears with the game in the hands of O'Dell Beckham (WR) and Lamar Miller (RB)...and the boys did not disappoint. They ran down the Nighthawks and then added some, to hand the Nighthawks their second loss of the year, and stop the Gunners losing streak. Guns of Hochuli come back to .500% and show the Nighthawks that they may not own the league 139 - 134.

After having flown across the ocean to return home the Subsim crew set up broadcasting at the closest game as the Who Dat Nation Rises again in Oregon took on the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys have been non existent in the past four weeks with no coach, no modifications, no coaching...and somehow has still won games. Had Coach Thad shown up we might not have been talking about how great a performance his team had without him, and instead be talking about his playoff. The Drunk Monkeys took it to the Who Dat Nation putting up a modest score, but nonetheless, staying ahead of the Nation for the entire weekend. Left to their Monday Night players of Jarvis Landry (WR) and Josh Brown (K) , the Nation had to come from almost 40 points in arrears. This was a enormous game - if the Drunk Monkeys win they avoided first pick of the draft. The Nation just continued on business as usual and with nothing left to play off, just rolled over and lay dead. Final Score, Drunk Monkeys 111 - Who Dat Nation Rises 103.

So with the regular season out of the way here are the final seedings:

#1 Seed: The Helmand Nighthawks win the regular season at 12 -2, losing to the same team twice. As alluded to earlier, the Nighthawks have won some games with not very points scored against them. Nighthawks stay at home throughout the playoffs.

#2 Seed: The Who Dat Nation Rises win the Sub Simmers division and occupy the #2 seed. With the exception of a three game streak in the middle of the season, they Nation has gone Win-Loss in back to back weeks through the year. The Who Dat Nation stay at home for the first game of the play offs and would have the hardest path to the Championship of the four teams.

#3 Seed: The Guns of Hochuli, hot favorites for the win this year, had an end of season slump which cost them the division, and almost their chance at the playoffs. After starting out with big scores, they have succumbed to some substandard play. The Gunners go on the road into Oregon for a rematch of last weeks game against the Who Dat Nation. Despite being the lower seed, they Gunners go into that game as slight favorites after serving notice against the Nighthawks.

#4 Seed: Never discount the defending title holder. After a record high score of 242 points, which was followed by an abysmal six game losing streak, the Black Cats come into the last two games of the season with the easiest path. Their early season high score was shown not to be a fluke as they came out and secured the last seed not only by wining, but putting up an impressive numbers. Black Cats go on the road throughout the pay offs with their first stop at Wembley Stadium. If the Black Cats are to repeat, they will have to go through teams that have had their number.

Buying Tickets: Being Commissioner is not such a bad thing, the first thing Commissioner Pioneer did was buy out all the 50 yard seats to the first play off games for the eliminated teams. Maybe he knew that Coach Pioneer and Coach Thad would be needing those seats. Coach Pioneer shouldn't have anything to worry about, Coach Thad hasn't been seen in a month.

There are only two matches on next week, and despite what the money is Vegas says, we're going to be at both games. We've flexed our schedules and used up all the Subsim Airline Miles (Neal, you're going to need to buy more fuel before Thursday if you want to come). We'll start off with the early game across the Pond as the Helmand Nighthawks want to seal the deal and host the Championship offshore. Coach FYC will be trying to bring the venue home as he takes on the divisional rival he hasnt beaten all year.

Then we'll jump on the red eye and cross the entire continent (you guys need to relocate) as we cast an eye over the Who Dat Nation hosting the Guns of Hochuli. This match up looks to be the stronger of the two games, as the Gunners won the two early season match ups against the Nation, but lost the all important third which sealed the division for Coach Fuel For Blood.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. It came down to Monday Night.

For the effort of 7 receptions for 166 yards and 2 receiving touchdowns, for a total of 40.10 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present O'dell Beckham of the Guns of Hochuli the Week Fourteen MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/u...neerXI/MVT.jpg

ONE UPSET AND ONE THRILLER
...and a Monday Night Rewrite

Week 15 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and the upset results continue to roll in. No one (except the Associated Subsim Writers) predicted that the top seed, could get bundled out of the Torpedo Bowl. No one expected one of the teams to lay down such a thrashing (except the Associated Subsim Writers) and no body expected that a second year team would be hosting next week's Torpedo Bowl (again, except the Associated Subsim Writers.)

Maybe you guys should have listened when asked to nominate for Subsims best, hey? :know:

Let's go around the northern hemisphere as we put together two and a half games of football and set our stages for next week.

VOTE NOW FOR YOUR BEST OF SUBSIM...THEY HAVE EARNED YOUR VOTE.

Wembley: The Pageantry, the Gallantry, the history...the absolute smashing of the League's #1 seed in a wildly lopsided game. This year the League's #1 seed was the Helmand Nighthawks - they clearly had (almost) everyone's number as they went 12-2 through the regular season. They had the easiest path of the Torpedo Bowl, having the lowest amount of points being scored against them. And week 15 arrived, the first week of the playoffs and Coach FYC rode into town with the Black Cats, determined to put a stop to the carnage that the Nighthawks had created. And put a stop to it they did. Lead by Cam Newton (QB) The Black Cats put up their finest form, showing why the won the league last year and how they're not a team to be under estimated this year. Cam Newton put up a single player score almost too good to be true, and let the team follow suite and pick up the leftovers in garbage time. Mister Chris, on home field, in front of 200000 supports (they put extra seats in) was no match this week. The Nighthawks have owned the Black Cats all year within the division except for this one game. It's not like they didn't score points, QB Tom Brady added 21, their Defense (Chiefs) another 21, but once again, Shady McCoy (RB) failed to deliver in the clutch. Trailing by 20 points on Monday night, it was up to Calvin Johson (WR) to reduce the 20 point deficit, but it was not to be. Instead it was the other WR, Golden Tate who stole the show for the Black Cats, and left them with a revised itinerary for next weeks Torpedo Bowl. Nighthawks stumble on the turn for home, and lament the season that was theirs for the taking. Final Score, visitors Black Cats show their defending title form 169 - Nighthawks 128.

After the game Coach FYC was seen streaking a lap across the Wembley field shouting "How bout it b****, we're going to the ***** Torpedo Bowl."

On the Red Eye and across the nation we go. (You guys still need to relocate - I hear that Los Angeles is looking for anyone to come and play.)

Oregon: It was another divisional match up, this one stronger than the first game. The hosting Who Dat Nation Rises have been owned by the visiting Guns of Hochuli in two out of three games this year. But, the Nation took the dead rubber third game and the Gunners, who struggled mid season (starting with the Black Cats) were relegated to the #3 seed. Their opponent didn't change, only the venue and the Gunners shot into town and lay siege to the Nation. At 7-7 the Gunners put up a modest score and Coach Fuel was looking down the barrel of defeat with the Who Dat Nation Rises starting QB, Drew Brees struggled in the first half of Monday night. Trailing by 28 points, it was left to the arm of Brees, who, apparently, was still drinking at the bar at half time before he finally showed up. In the last quarter of the weekend, Brees finally put together some of the form that saw the Who Dat Nation rise to win the division and earn them a home field Torpedo Bowl game. Final score, Who Dat Nation Rises Again 147 - Guns of Hochuli 138

After the game Coach Fuel For Blood was seen streaking a lap across the Oregon field shouting "How bout it b****, we're going to the ***** Torpedo Bowl." As a side note, Coach Fuel is in better viewing form than Coach FYC.

While the fall out of these two games were being tallied, and the league was trying to work out what to do with the two streaking coaches, there were reports than two teams that looked very much like the Taipans and the Drunk Monkeys were playing a football game in the dirt parking lot. Unconfirmed reports indicate that the Taipans won 138 - 124.

So where does this leave the host venue for the Torpedo Bowl. Tickets are being rushed to the printers, scalpers are moving into lines, hot women are being flown out from Europe, cause this year, the Torpedo Bowl comes home to the Homeland as the Who Dat Nation Rises Again host the Black Cats. The Black Cats are looking for well deserved back - to back championships, while the Nation have shown their dominance in the clutch, and are looking to stop any talk of "dynasty". This is a match up the bookies in Vegas did not predict, but we will be there to capture the moment.

Elsewhere, back in Europe, the Nighthawks after being...embarrassed in the first week of the playoff, look forward to extracting their revenge on the visiting Guns of Hochuli. The Nighthawks for the second time in recent years have again been bundled out of the Championship game after being the oh-so dominant team. Nighthakws are looking to save face and hand the Gunners an ass whipping. (Side note: this was the ASW pick for the Torpedo Bowl.)

In the Consolation Series, after playing in the dirt this week, the Drunk Monkeys host the Australian Taipans in a nothing game, that no one cares about except the two coaches - and only one of them has shown up in the last month.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. There was really no competition for this week award - provided you ignore Antonio Brown's effort in the parking lot.

For the effort of 340 passing yards, 5 touchdown, and rushing for another 100 yards, for a total of 62.10 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Cam Newton of the Black Cats the Week Fifteen MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/u...neerXI/MVT.jpg

THE NATION RISES
Cats Cough Up a Furball in their Second Bowl

The final week in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, the last three games of the year worth watching - but feel free to look at the NFL if you so desire. You want real guts and courage being played out - look no further than that the Torpedo Bowl where the Who Nation Rises earns the first crown

Let's go around the three grounds and pull together what happened and why, right after this most important message.

CONGRATULATIONS TO BEST OF SUBSIM WINNERS!

Oregon: The most unlikely combination for the Torpedo Bowl, the Who Dat Nation Rises hosting the Black Cat. The Black Cats were the defending champions, but halfway through the season they looked like they were up for adoption. A strong comeback on the shoulders on one of the candidates for the All Star Team carried them through to the final, to meet, the Nation. The Who Dat Nation Rises, in only their second year in this league, arrived ready to defend, and defend they did.

Thursday night: no one. Saturday night: no one. Everybody started Sunday morning and out on a start they did. They were in for a rough day when star QB Ben Roethlisburger threw a panty fit and only scored 4 points. The Black Cats were loaded down with Panthers who had carried them to the championship, but they would carry them no further as Julio Jones (WR) and Devonte Freeman (RB) carried the Nation forward and over the wasted Cats. The Cats had come to the big dance with their team staked on one game, and as much as it brought them success last year, it fell one game short this year. The finally game was not without heart stopping moments as the Who Dat Nation Defense (Bronco's) rested on their win and began to score negative points - just to bring the score closer. Not a high scoring game but a win none the less as the Who Dat Nation Rises win their first Torpedo Bowl, on just their second attempt, 122 - 92.

At the post game media conference Coach Fuel For Blood was quoted as saying "How bout it Belechick, we're going to Disneyland."

The Depth Charge Bowl, the two teams most predicted to match up and had to struggle into Monday Night before the deal was seal. Across the Pond in Blighty Old England the Helmand Nighthawks were facing off against the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners had stolen one from the Nighthawks during the regular season and this was poised to be a offensive match of power proportions. And the game did not disappoint. Deandre Hopkins (WR) starred for the Gunners but it was the lack luster performance (and how many times was he sacked) QB performance of Aaron Rodgers that let the Gunners scoring stall out at 124. Opposing them former Subsim All Star Tom Brady (QB) of the Nighthawks had only a marginally better game, leaving the scoring in the hands of Doug Baldwin (WR) for 31 points and DeAngelo Williams (39) points. With scores tied at Sunday night, the Nighthawks were left riding on the coattails of Emmanuel Sanders (WR) to give the Nighthawks their win. After a feeble first half Sanders finally showed up and in the last half of the weekend, crossed for the important touchdown to give the Helmand Nighthawks much earned credibility. Nighthawks take out third place defeating the Guns of Hochuli 145 - 124.

At the post game media conference Coach Mister Chris was quoted as saying "How bout it Belechick, we're going to Legoland, which is not as good as Disneyland but pretty close."

The third and final game of the week, the Dust Bowl was between the Drunk Monkeys and the Australian Taipans. The Monkeys had been without their coach for about six weeks - oh, they could have been so much better if Coach Thad just showed up. The Taipans were without their Coach Pioneer for most of the weekend. On Wednesday Coach Pioneer became seriously ill, and missed all but the last half of the weekend. The Taipans were tight lipped but none the less let the Monkeys QB Phillip Rivers score 16 points, before responding on Saturday night with 60 unanswered points. The Taipans looked to have control of the game but their RB duo of Spencer Ware and Christine Michael did nothing, letting the the Monkeys back in the game with WR Brandon Marshall scoring 37 points and kicker Blair Walsh with 22 points. The Taipans finished out Sunday with 128 points and 27 point lead with the Monkeys still to play. Even with the overtime, the Monkeys come up about one touchdown short, 128 - 120. Again, this would have been a Monkey victory had Coach Thad not started two players already on vacation.

At the post game media conference Coach Pioneer was absent but their QB Russell Wilson stated "If he was here, he'd probably say 'How bout it Belechick, we're going to Sea World, which is not as good as Disneyland or Legoland, but pretty close."

There it is folks, another frustrating 16 weeks in the books, started by the Helmand Nighthawks winning the regular season, and the Who Dat Nations Rises taming the Black Cats in the Torpedo Bowl. We'll be back tomorrow night after we finishing tally the results to give you the 2015 All Star Team.

But we can't close the regular season out without one more award.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 9 receptions for 178 yards and 1 touchdown for a total of 38.80 points, book ending the start and the end of the season, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Julio Jones of the Who Dat Nation Rises the Week Sixteen MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/u...neerXI/MVT.jpg

ALL STAR TEAM NAMED
...after Steve Harvey Gave The Wrong Name

Here it is folks, after much ado from Steve Harvey who thought he was awarding the Grammy's, may I present to you the 2015

Each year, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) get together after the Torpedo Bowl celbrations (quite often with head hung low and big headaches) and put together their All Star team.

The name selection has always been a much talked about point between the Associate Subsim Writers, and this year was no exception. There were a number of well deserving nominees, including some that should rightly have their own team. In the end, however, we stayed with something a little more closer to the heart.

So without further ado, we present to you, the 2015 Subsim Fantasy Football All Star Team, named in honor of a retired sailor, who went on to to work in the legal system.

2015 FRED THOMPSON ADMIRALS

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QB: Cam Newton - Black Cats
WR: Antonio Brown - Australian Taipans
Julio Jones - Who Dat Nation Rises
O'Dell Beckham - Guns of Hochuli
RB: Devonte Freeman - Who Dat Nation Rises
Adrian Peterson - Black Cats
TE: Rob Gronkowski - Guns of Hochuli
K: Graham Gano - Black Cats
DEF: Denver - Helmand Nighthawks

Bench:

Tom Brady - Helmand Nighthawks
Allen Robinson - Drunk Monkeys
Deangelo Williams - Black Cats
Gary Barnridge - Who Dat Nation
Steven Gostowski - Guns of Hochuli
Kansas City - Helmand Nighthawks

So there you have it folks, the most Gut Wrenching 16 weeks of pretend football that you can find on this site. I'm heading back to crawl back under my stadium, and the entire Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) we'll be back again in August to do it all over again.