Three hours out of Lorient, Balz gathered all officers at the dining table.
Once everyone was settled, he waved a finger at us. "This is a disgrace, it´s embarrassing, it makes it look like this boat is crewed by idiots. How could a discrepancy so big have happened? How come I belittle myself by sending a message that we sunk 85,000 tons when in reality we sunk 93,000? Huh, huh, huh?

"Cook has the answer for everything," I said.
"Cook, come here," Balz bellowed.
The cook came over wiping hands with his apron.
"How come we send wrong messages?" Balz asked.
"Moment, Herr Kaleun." Cook left and returned bringing a steaming log book. "Maybe it is because the logbook is unreadable?"
"What are you doing steaming the logbook?"
"It´s Bernard, Herr Kaleun. He wanted to cook a Spanish gourmet dinner, calamares en su tinta. The only ink we had was in the logbook.

Balz covered his ace with his hands. "How do I explain to the admiral that we cook books without having an accountant on board?"

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calamares en su tinta. The only ink we had was in the logbook.......Who tasted the food?