This Is Why I Don't Date Girls...

[Texas Red]

FYI I am not gay, I'm just venting my frustration with women

So recently, I decided to try and start a relationship with a girl at my school. She is rather shy and I'm basically carrying the entire conversation. I had feelings for her, and I think she did too actually. Then all hell broke loose.

On Friday night I receive a text from her friend (let's call her S) saying that my crush (let's call her C) likes me. Of course, I am suspicious at first since I have been duped in the past, and then I get on a video call with S and C, S loudly says C likes me, which then C says "SHUT UP". Well, I spill my beans, and guess what? It's a trick. I find this out and say some nasty stuff, which then C and S start apologizing, I forgive them and we reconcile.

Then, as Friday night is ending, C is sending me some positive signals, so I think all is going well.
On Saturday I proceed to question S and C as to whose idea it was. And you know what bullcrap I get? I never said anything, it must have been you. and I show them the screenshots I took of that conversation and they repeat the same thing, and every single time I ask them who said it, they said "It was you." One time S told me that she doesn't like talking to people, and I was wondering who sent this and so I ask C if it was her (since they were at S's home that night) and I get the same She never said it, you did I then ask them if they were trying to imply something to me, which then S says I'm trying to say I am dead, dead serious. Now they are trying to avoid my questions and are playing games with me.
Sunday and Saturday are the repeats of the same thing, and on Sunday I get some more positive signals from C, I hope for the best on Monday and go to bed.

On Monday she is again playing mind games with me as I try to develop a relationship with her. I am thinking about letting go but I do not want to give up just yet, so I have this raging internal debate that disrupts my home life. Finally, after having a talk with my counselor I send C a long message describing why I am leaving this relationship. My main points are: 1, you are playing mind games with me and I still have not received any clarity from what happened on Friday. 2, You are causing serious amounts of emotional troubles for me with these games, and so it is not a healthy relationship, then I also send her all the screenshots I have of her and her friend saying it was me who said what they said to me. I gave her a nice kick in the gut and blocked her, I also said if she wanted to remain, friends, that she was to go through S to try to get me to unblock her. After I sent all of this, her last message she sent me before I blocked her was "Boy" (which usually means I am doing something stupid, which I wasn't) Now that the ball is in my court and I have control I finally get them to play by my terms.

S immediately texts me saying that "C wants to be friends, so unblock her." and I said, "Not until I know who's idea it was and why you were saying it was me who said that C liked me."

I say, "It wasn't me who said that C liked me." And y'know what S says? "I know, I was joking." I wish I could show you the screenshots as to how I knew they were trying to get past my questions and play with me. I said some pretty nasty stuff along the lines of "That was a horrible joke you prick, look what happens when you pull stunts like this!!!"
Classic man-user, " I was just joking". :nope:

I then said that C would have to talk to me at school. And S tells me that C said "Boy no". Then I said "Well then guess what? she doesn't want to be friends. If she is only willing to be friends over text and not in real life at school then she is using me." Then S says "C doesn't like talking to people, sooo" which I then say "Wouldn't you say that communication is important to having a friendship?" and she says, "No, me and C talk in morse code." I then said "Oh really, so you are joking when you say she doesn't like talking to people?" and I get a definitive "No" from S.


Then I finally ask "Who's idea was it?" S says, "It wasn't C's fault." and then I say "Oh really then, who's fault is it?" and then S says "Your mom." Which I then give up and say "Alright, bye to each of you. I give up, see what your little games do to people? Not cool." I then proceeded to take screenshots of the chat so that way I could defend myself if need be. Finally, after all that was over, I remove S and C and block them. Now my life is peaceful.

In short:
My crush and her friend play mind games with me and then act all childish when I call them out on it, and when I leave my crush she desperately tries to get me back. But they are gonna use me again so I leave them.


I won't date girls for awhile now, lol.

[Buddahaid]

Yikes, glad I'm an old fart. I've no advice beyond don't let it get the best of you as there will be other women.

Secretly I've always wondered what would happen if guys just stopped falling all over themselves trying to impress women and collectively just ignored them.

[Texas Red]

Yikes, glad I'm an old fart. I've no advice beyond don't let it get the best of you as there will be other women.

Secretly I've always wondered what would happen if guys just stopped falling all over themselves trying to impress women and collectively just ignored them.

yeah that’s what i did. there are other kens out there. Sometimes i just want to ignore all the women in my grade, they can be a little annoying.

it’s pretty much over now, let’s just see if she says anything at school or over email to me. :hmmm:

[Rockstar]

lol you're on too them. Take 'S' on a date that will get 'C' mad at her. Then while they're fighting each, you dump them both. WINNER!

[Reece]

I think you're a glutton for punishment!! :doh: I would have left C after a couple of days of trying to figure her out. :hmmm:
Don't let the immaturity of some spoil it for you, there is an old saying "Plenty of fish in the sea".
All the best for the future!! :yep:

[Sean C]

let's call her C


Yes, let's. ;)



Forget her, man. You will look back on this and kick yourself for how much time you've wasted already. There is a nice, beautiful girl out there who wants to have a real relationship with you. Don't keep her waiting. Find her. And don't stop [for too long] until you do.

[vienna]

lol you're on too them. Take 'S' on a date that will get 'C' mad at her. Then while they're fighting each, you dump them both. WINNER!


Uh,...

Rockstar is really Charlie Sheen...?... :o


http://anthillonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Charlie-Sheen-Winning-Duh.jpg






<O>

[Platapus]

Some advice from an Old Guy:


If there is one thing that all women have in common is that they are all different. Clearly, this woman was not the one for you at this time. One down, that leaves about 3,000,000,000 other women out there.


I am sorry this happened to you but I am also glad that you recognized the situation soon.



https://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/538ff0eddcba62836620eb8f18867056.png

[Texas Red]

Thank you guys, i’ve pretty much moved on now. Yes there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and i will find one. She was a nasty barracuda though, yuck.

Rockstar, that would be a good idea only if they still liked me, i’m pretty sure they hate my guts now and are looking for revenge. I wonder what rumors will be spreading at school, lol.

thank you all for the advice though, seriously.

[Jimbuna]

The real fun is experienced whilst trying to find the right one.

[Texas Red]

The real fun is experienced whilst trying to find the right one.

pretty much, lol.

[Jeff-Groves]

The real fun is experienced whilst trying to find the right one.

For your sake I hope the Lady of the Manor doesn't see that post!
:doh:

[Commander Wallace]

For your sake I hope the Lady of the Manor doesn't see that post!
:doh:


Jim isn't afraid. He is a hearty breed. But, in case I'm wrong. This is for you Jim. It's the man song :haha:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7Y0I91rubg



lyrics for those not of the English vernacular.


Ladies and Gentlemen,
The Man Song!
(He's the man!)
(He's the man!)
I don't take no crap from anybody
[else but you]
I wear the pants around here
[when I finish with your laundry]
Coz I'm a guy you don't wanna fight
[When I say "Jump", you say "Yeah right!"]
I'm the man of this house
[until you get home]
(He's the man!)
(He's the man!)


What I say goes around here
[right out the window]
and I don't wanna hear a lot of whining
[so I'll shut up]
The sooner you learn who's Boss around here
[The sooner you can give me my orders, dear]
Coz I'm Head-Honcho around here
[but it's all in my head]
(He's the man!)
(He's the man!)
And I can have sex anytime
[that you want it]
Coz I'm a man who has needs
[but there not that important]
And don't expect any flowers from me
[Coz if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelry]
I'm the King of my castle
[when you're not around]


He's the man!)
(He's the man!)
And I'll drink and watch sports whenever I wanna
[get in trouble]
And I'll come home when I'm good and ready
[to sleep on the couch]
Coz a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
[And I'm gonna do what you tell me to]
Because I'm Top dog around here
[but I've been neutered]
(He's the man!)
(He's the man!)
(You the man!)

[Jimbuna]

For your sake I hope the Lady of the Manor doesn't see that post!
:doh:

She probably wrote it wnen I was out :)

[AVGWarhawk]

All three are not worth your time or effort. None are dating material nor marriage material for that matter. You deserve better.

C has failed the dating game miserably.

Become a gray rock and ghost them. Don't do the pick me dance. It is a weak move and seen as such.

[Texas Red]

C has failed the dating game miserably.

Become a gray rock and ghost them. Don't do the pick me dance. It is a weak move and seen as such.

Yeah she failed pretty bad on her own, but S made it even worse by doing what she did.

They didn’t talk to me at school at all, though they did eye me in the hallways. I’ve left them already and they are going to find someone else for sure. I won’t go out with a woman like that in any circumstance. What a sadistic woman though.

[Eichhörnchen]

I like Rockstar's plan a lot :har:

But Sean C has the best advice for you: Miss Right is somewhere out there and you'll know her because she'll treat you right... with respect and love. These two females are just a couple of nerds having fun yanking your chain :yep:

[Rockstar]

Experience has taught me a woman's worst enemy is another woman. In cases like this, knowing that could work to your advantage. :03:

[Texas Red]

I like Rockstar's plan a lot :har:

But Sean C has the best advice for you: Miss Right is somewhere out there and you'll know her because she'll treat you right... with respect and love. These two females are just a couple of nerds having fun yanking your chain :yep:

Rockstars plan would totally work for me under other circumstances. It would be like setting off the Tsar Bomba lol.
The woman that’s right for me seems to be far away, heck maybe i even know her or have met her before. We don’t know until i decide to pursue a relationship with that a woman. These two girls were inexperienced nerdy females in the area of dating too, evidenced by their behavior, :haha:

Experience has taught me a woman's worst enemy is another woman. In cases like this, knowing that could work to your advantage. :03:

LOL yep, tbh I thought at first that S was lying to C about what I was saying to try to get me away from C and i would start to pursue S. They all played a role in me ghosting them, lol. S made it 200% worse for both of them lol.

[iambecomelife]

First off, I am sorry for your experience. Don't dwell on it - consider it water under the bridge and a learning experience. You learned how deceptive some women can be, even if they try to hide it with a "nice", "shy" exterior. And in the future, these mind games will not work on you. Good job calling them out on their behavior.

Dating in this decade is completely different from what it was like for our parents. Or even for our older brothers and sisters. It's a lot harder out there.

My mom & dad grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone; people naturally paired off thru church/high school at 19 or 20, & then got married. No internet or social media. These days? You are competing with Tinder, Bumble, Match, a girl's social media followers, etc etc. Even an average woman may have hundreds of clingy men "simping" & desperate for her attention online.

My theory is that this whole thing was, in fact, about attention. The girl and her friend were seeking attention/validation from you. Once they got that ego boost, they had what they wanted. Don't feel ashamed. It says nothing about your value as a young man; it DOES say a lot about their lack of character.

"These two females are just a couple of nerds having fun yanking your chain " - EXACTLY.

I strongly recommend that you seek out youtube channels devoted to young men's issues and dating for men. There you can learn about female psychology, relationship red flags, how to cut out women who lead you on, and how to protect yourself as a man from modern dating pitfalls. These can range from merely embarrassing (harsh rejections, mean rumors) to extremely serious (baby traps, false abuse accusations, etc.)

There are no guarantees of course. This is not "magic" "pickup artist" stuff. What dating commenters CAN do is give psychiatric & self improvement techniques beneficial to you in the dating world and beyond.

By learning HOW to date instead of "winging it" I was able to date a woman I would have never approached & considered "out of my league" when I was younger. :up: This did not come naturally to me. But now, I know to keep things in perspective, and to learn from each encounter I have.

[Buddahaid]

Punching above your weight?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu-spyQNwfs

[iambecomelife]

Punching above your weight?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu-spyQNwfs

Not sure I follow.

Also to El Whacko, good idea to save the messages. There is no telling how these young ladies will mischaracterize what happened. They've already proven that they are dishonest. When it comes to dating, certain people can be very vindictive. It seems like you're doing a good job de-escalating, disengaging, and making sure you have the facts straight about what they did. I would gently advise you not make any more angry comments to them, even if they deserve them.

[iambecomelife]

One more thing; I would also recommend Reddit "Relationships" forum. Of course take the advice with a grain of salt.. :haha: after all, most Reddit posters aren't experts. But there is good advice there sometimes. And I've noticed in recent years there's been a trend there toward holding BOTH genders accountable for bad behavior, instead of viewing one gender as "victims".

[Texas Red]

Not sure I follow.

Also to El Whacko, good idea to save the messages. There is no telling how these young ladies will mischaracterize what happened. They've already proven that they are dishonest. When it comes to dating, certain people can be very vindictive. It seems like you're doing a good job de-escalating, disengaging, and making sure you have the facts straight about what they did. I would gently advise you not make any more angry comments to them, even if they deserve them.
Yeah, I have three backups of the pictures in case i delete the ones on my phone on accident. When I told S that i was leaving and giving up. She realized the gravity of what she just said, or she was hoping she could remove me before i got any screenshots so she could cook up some lie, she said “Not if i remove you first” (This was on snapchat btw). She removed me and i still had access to the chat so i took as many screenshots as possible. Then not even like 10 seconds late S added me back just to see if i had left, lol.
First off, I am sorry for your experience. Don't dwell on it - consider it water under the bridge and a learning experience. You learned how deceptive some women can be, even if they try to hide it with a "nice", "shy" exterior. And in the future, these mind games will not work on you. Good job calling them out on their behavior.

Dating in this decade is completely different from what it was like for our parents. Or even for our older brothers and sisters. It's a lot harder out there.

My mom & dad grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone; people naturally paired off thru church/high school at 19 or 20, & then got married. No internet or social media. These days? You are competing with Tinder, Bumble, Match, a girl's social media followers, etc etc. Even an average woman may have hundreds of clingy men "simping" & desperate for her attention online.

My theory is that this whole thing was, in fact, about attention. The girl and her friend were seeking attention/validation from you. Once they got that ego boost, they had what they wanted. Don't feel ashamed. It says nothing about your value as a young man; it DOES say a lot about their lack of character.

"These two females are just a couple of nerds having fun yanking your chain " - EXACTLY.

I strongly recommend that you seek out youtube channels devoted to young men's issues and dating for men. There you can learn about female psychology, relationship red flags, how to cut out women who lead you on, and how to protect yourself as a man from modern dating pitfalls. These can range from merely embarrassing (harsh rejections, mean rumors) to extremely serious (baby traps, false abuse accusations, etc.)

There are no guarantees of course. This is not "magic" "pickup artist" stuff. What dating commenters CAN do is give psychiatric & self improvement techniques beneficial to you in the dating world and beyond.

By learning HOW to date instead of "winging it" I was able to date a woman I would have never approached & considered "out of my league" when I was younger. :up: This did not come naturally to me. But now, I know to keep things in perspective, and to learn from each encounter I have.

Yeah it is certainly different. The stuff you mentioned for sure plays a big factor into dating these days. Dating back in the day used to be not as competitive, lol. Tbh i also think they have enough attention, they both have pretty active social lives, with only women of course, but not with men. What angers me beyond words is when women accuse a man of abusing them or sexual assault with no evidence and the man immediately goes to jail. Nobody stands up for the man, nobody has ever thought of women doing stuff like that. But it happens and women usually get away with it. Like the thing with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, Amber made false claims and Johnny paid the full price for it and now Amber is getting praise for it. But God will judge Amber and punish her in someway, no sin goes unpunished. I will definitely try to see what relationship advice i can use too.

One more thing; I would also recommend Reddit "Relationships" forum. Of course take the advice with a grain of salt.. :haha: after all, most Reddit posters aren't experts. But there is good advice there sometimes. And I've noticed in recent years there's been a trend there toward holding BOTH genders accountable for bad behavior, instead of viewing one gender as "victims".

I’ll take a look soon, thanks for your comments! :up::subsim:

[Jeff-Groves]

Your sounding like your obsessing over this.
:hmmm:

1st stage of a stalker is to obsess over a wished for.

You got played and can't seem to get over it and look for advice that you clearly are not taking.
Your still talking about the same people that played you and in round about ways?
Talking revenge.

Not good.

[em2nought]

This thread makes me want to watch some Archie Bunker. :D

[Texas Red]

Your sounding like your obsessing over this.
:hmmm:

1st stage of a stalker is to obsess over a wished for.

You got played and can't seem to get over it and look for advice that you clearly are not taking.
Your still talking about the same people that played you and in roundabout ways?
Talking revenge.

Not good.

What? no i'm not obessed. Im just replying to what people are saying. im just fine, literally I am. If i was obessed Im sure it would be much more obvious than this, im not obessed. If I was obessed im sure that I would have done something off the charts by now. Im not talking revenge, Im not gonna do that since I don't feel all that hurt. Plus I don't really feel much hatred right now about the situation. I don't care anymore for what they did.

They have moved on and so have I.

Period.

[GoldenRivet]

I'm just venting my frustration with women

mind if i ask how old you are?

I'll go ahead and assume you're under 30, and i'll warn you that it doesnt get any better... from now to the grave.

[Jimbuna]

mind if i ask how old you are?

I'll go ahead and assume you're under 30, and i'll warn you that it doesnt get any better... from now to the grave.

Your over by a long way John but I think it more appropriate if he answers that question, should he decide to, even though he has publicly stated his age on this forum in the past.

[Buddahaid]

I just remembered why I don't date girls either.
https://image.shutterstock.com/image-photo/portrait-young-woman-housewife-on-260nw-147697010.jpg

[THE_MASK]

I have been married 35 years . H...E...L...P

[Reece]

Hi Glenn, how have you been keeping? And don't tell me you aren't happily married, the wife and I tied the knot in 76, we still hold hands etc.
Good to see you are alive and kicking!! :yep:

[THE_MASK]

Hi Glenn, how have you been keeping? And don't tell me you aren't happily married, the wife and I tied the knot in 76, we still hold hands etc.
Good to see you are alive and kicking!! :yep:Hold hands :hmmm:

[Reece]

cuddle, kiss etc, I am near 70 you know!! :yep:

[Aktungbby]

I am near 70 you know!! :yep: the true meaning of ''Down Under'':O:

[Platapus]

Just remember that a man is incomplete until he gets married


After that he is finished. :D

[Jimbuna]

Just remember that a man is incomplete until he gets married


After that he is finished. :D

The old uns are still the best :)

[Catfish]

Hold hands :hmmm:
He's talking abut the cat's paw :O:

[THE_MASK]

cuddle, kiss etc, I am near 70 you know!! :yep:Nearly 60

[Eichhörnchen]

https://i.imgur.com/8cQjiZl.jpg

[3catcircus]

Don't ever communicate via social media, text etc. That sh!t never goes away and WILL be taken out of context to make you look bad.

If the other party does communicate that way, save everything and save the receipts. They will save you.

Don't ever apologize via text or social media - it's an admission of guilt - both in a court of law and the court of her friends' opinions... Save that for after you're married when it becomes part of your standard defense: "You're right, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry," followed by her walking out of the room so you can put the game back on. You won't even know what you're sorry for or what you did or didn't do (and she won't tell you.) Learn this early in the relationship, it'll save you untold hours of argument - this is an old married guy trick usually only learned after years of suffering.

Talk to the girl you like - in person - and ask her out. If she rejects you, move on to the next one. Completely ignore her friends' comments - you're interested in her, not them.

Have confidence when talking to a girl. This isn't a lifetime commitment yet and it shouldn't be about jumping into the sack. You're just trying to have fun and see if the other person is fun to hang out with or barely tolerable. Looks are important but not that important. Can the other person hold a conversation or do they barely fog the glass? If both of you struggle to make conversation, move on. If you are laconic, hopefully she is too - having one partner who won't shut up is worse than when both don't find a need to talk a lot.

At some point you will have to meet her parents. Her mother may seem really nice - that's an act or they're arguing with each other. Her father may seem intimidating. That's not an act - if you make her cry, he'll make you cry.

Oh yeah - last bit of advice - I'm married so I, by virtue of being married, automatically become an idiot (I think it's even spelled out on every standard marriage license), so don't take anything I've said as advice...

[les green01]

find one more pretty worst comes to worst pull them over your knee and spank then dump on the ground walk off

[Armistead]

When I got to about the 2nd paragraph I decided to keep reading to see what the punchline was gonna be, lol. I guess I am just old.:Kaleun_Cheers:

[Mr Quatro]

https://i.imgur.com/8cQjiZl.jpg

Cradle robber ... that's against the law in the United States :o

[Gorpet]

Cradle robber ... that's against the law in the United States :o
Whoa, Eichhornchen has posted some pics of his wife here. Morya is her name and,It has always been clear to me they have a love that transcends from youth into adulthood and he has shared his love of his wife and his son in pictures on this forum and i admire and respect him for doing so.

Now as far as "Cradle Robbers" go that would be me in 1979 at 21 i ran into a 16 yr old girl from the old neighborhood that would become my first wife mother of my son. And i would experience a southern tradition called a Shotgun Wedding . And for those who want to know its something like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USECKzFPdf8

[Eichhörnchen]

@ Gorpet :har: Thanks, buddy! Yes, she was just 19 when that photo was taken and that was 35 years ago, so I was also pretty much a spring chicken myself

[Platapus]

Always a good idea not to date girls
You want to date women.

[Jimbuna]

:haha:

[Gorpet]

:up:

[Eichhörnchen]

Any of you guys ever receive news of the passing of a well-remembered old love?

It can happen when you gets to our age

How did that make you feel?

[Sean C]

Jeez. I bet you're fun at parties. :O:

[Eichhörnchen]

:haha: Just the other side of the coin I guess

[Platapus]

Any of you guys ever receive news of the passing of a well-remembered old love?

It can happen when you gets to our age

How did that make you feel?




Depends whether I have a good alibi.

[Jeff-Groves]

Any of you guys ever receive news of the passing of a well-remembered old love?

It can happen when you gets to our age

How did that make you feel?
It's not the past Loves that pass that bother me.
It's the ones that died when I had a thing with them that bothered me.
And still do to some extent.
Had a Girl that died in a car accident and to this day when I pass that area it's like it was yesterday.
But it was 46 years ago.
I remember the phone call from her Mother. That was NOT a good night.

[Reece]

I had a fling with a girl about the same time ago and died in a car accident as well. Will never forget it, she was only 17.:oops: