Things that make me mad!

[Armistead]

Was gonna say pee me off....This thread is for me and anyone else that needs to vent or explain.

My wife did it again, bought a big show poodle....after I said NO! She tricked me with some good sex to keep it. Just now, I had 3 large steaks marinating on the kitchen counter and buttered bread ready to go into the oven. That beast ate every bit of it......

[Buddahaid]

Your wife or the poodle? :arrgh!:

[Armistead]

Your wife or the poodle? :arrgh!:

hehe....I found half a steak on the bathroom floor. Both are beast.

Anyways, my wife assures me it was my fault.....but first time he got that far. Still can't figure how he got them out of the pan without knocking the pan off..

I love dogs, but I am sick of them....think we have...5 now,...and of course the grooming shop, kennel and my wife runs a dog rescue.

I really don't want her to get back into showing, but I fear she is. She just won 3 best in shows with that poodle.....says she's only gonna do state shows....that's what she said last time.....

[Stealhead]

Who paid for the steaks?

[Armistead]

Who paid for the steaks?

The dog sure didn't.....Guess we both paid for them.....

[Aktungbby]

WAIT A gol' durned sec HERE!:hmmm: You've been 'tricked by sex'; you've had a 'five dog night'; and still have 'half a steak' to munch...which is all the doc lets you eat anyway...cholesterol-otherwise known as white-trash comfort food-(with a little corn on the cob?):D ...and your wife has a canine involvement HOBBY that focuses her attentions away from you AND YOUR MANCAVE ACTIVITIES...AHEM all YOUR MANCAVE ACTIVITIES?!!!! What, pray tell, are you complaining about?!!! You are leading a perfect existence. MODERATOR: please move to the bilgerat thread for continued proper chastisement and ridicule... :Kaleun_Salivating:

[Armistead]

WAIT A gol' durned sec HERE!:hmmm: You've been 'tricked by sex'; you've had a 'five dog night'; and still have 'half a steak' to munch...which is all the doc lets you eat anyway...cholesterol-otherwise known as white-trash comfort food-(with a little corn on the cob?):D ...and your wife has a canine involvement HOBBY that focuses her attentions away from you AND YOUR MANCAVE ACTIVITIES...AHEM all YOUR MANCAVE ACTIVITIES?!!!! What, pray tell, are you complaining about?!!! You are leading a perfect existence. MODERATOR: please move to the bilgerat thread for continued proper chastisement and ridicule... :Kaleun_Salivating:


Hmmm....never looked at it that way before. Still, I better keep up the front that me living in my mancave is her fault. If she actually thought I enjoyed it, she would find a way to make me miserable.....

[Eichhörnchen]

I just got in from the garden and when I found the big loppers, they were knackered.

If I could do it over, I'd have built TWO garden toolsheds when we got married, one marked "Official" and the other "Yours", and TWO sets of garden tools. The first shed would have had a bleeding great padlock on it and contained clean, oiled tools hanging on little hooks. The second shed, I can tell you, would have been EMPTY, because all her tools would be scattered around the garden, rusting.

I was planning to do a job out there last week and ended up spending the afternoon mucking about on here, because she'd left the pruners somewhere in the garden and gone off to one of her cardmaking classes (that can wait 'til next time) with her phone switched off.

[Jimbuna]

Who paid for the steaks?

A more fitting question might be "What are those pecking marks on the back of your head from"? :)

[Armistead]

Dang hickory nuts driving me crazy. Neighbor put a large shed with a metal roof right next to property line and those big nuts sound like firecrackers when they land on it. Bam Bam Bam....all night long and Bear barks at them each time. I told neighbor she would regret it. She came out this morning and told me I needed to cut that tree down....Right, bet it's 200 ft high...

[Jimbuna]

200 feet...just a sapling.

More like :)

http://s2.postimg.org/hnpofhjbt/image.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[nikimcbee]

Was gonna say pee me off....This thread is for me and anyone else that needs to vent or explain.

My wife did it again, bought a big show poodle....after I said NO! She tricked me with some good sex to keep it. Just now, I had 3 large steaks marinating on the kitchen counter and buttered bread ready to go into the oven. That beast ate every bit of it......

You had me at "My wife...." say no more.:haha::dead:.

I married an "enabler." :down:

My wife will:


Create a problem.
Complain about the problem SHE created.
Enable the problem she created.
When called out on problem, will not only not take responsibility for problem, will blame everybody else.

:/\\!!

[vienna]

You had me at "My wife...." say no more.:haha::dead:.

I married an "enabler." :down:

My wife will:


Create a problem.
Complain about the problem SHE created.
Enable the problem she created.
When called out on problem, will not only not take responsibility for problem, will blame everybody else.

:/\\!!

Your wife wouldn't, by any chance, be a member of Congress?...


<O>

[kranz]

You had me at "My wife...." say no more.:haha::dead:.

I married an "enabler." :down:

My wife will:


Create a problem.
Complain about the problem SHE created.
Enable the problem she created.
When called out on problem, will not only not take responsibility for problem, will blame everybody else.

:/\\!!
It can't be your wife. It's my mother.

[vienna]

It can't be your wife. It's my mother.


Wait, what?...nikimcbee married your mother?... :hmmm:


<O>

[Armistead]

You had me at "My wife...." say no more.:haha::dead:.

I married an "enabler." :down:

My wife will:


Create a problem.
Complain about the problem SHE created.
Enable the problem she created.
When called out on problem, will not only not take responsibility for problem, will blame everybody else.

:/\\!!

My wife does the same thing....blames me or my dog.

[Eichhörnchen]

Well then he must've married my mother too, which makes them both bigamists.

[vienna]

Well, that's bigathem...


<O>

[Eichhörnchen]

Wait, what?...nikimcbee married your mother?... :hmmm:


<O>

Well he must've married my mother too, which makes them both bigamists...

[Eichhörnchen]

:har: Oooops! I'm tripping all over people's posts here...

[Wolferz]

:wah:You dry that up!

I would think that by now you'd recognize your wife's feminine wiles before you got snookered.:hmmm:

Mine bought this Brittany pup, even though I had suggested a long, long vacation from caring for a dog. She's been whining about it ever since after the pup has hauled her out of bed at 06:00 every morning.
I awoke rather sick this morning and I quickly grew tired of listening to the constant drone. I told her; "Just stop it! You asked for it, now live with it and quit complaining!" Her late husband was always dumb enough to deny her a new dog and she'd spite him and get one anyway. I guess she misconstrued my suggestion as an order of denial. I knew the whole deal that would come from raising another dog up from a pup and she conveniently chose to ignore it until the work involved started wearing her down. Sorry my love. I'm not picking up your slack on this one.

Women! Can't live with them and can't kill them.:-?

[donna52522]

I am going to share some inside information with you guys...I hope you appreciate it. :D

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/win_zps516b883e.png (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/win_zps516b883e.png.html)

[Armistead]

:wah:You dry that up!

I would think that by now you'd recognize your wife's feminine wiles before you got snookered.:hmmm:

Mine bought this Brittany pup, even though I had suggested a long, long vacation from caring for a dog. She's been whining about it ever since after the pup has hauled her out of bed at 06:00 every morning.
I awoke rather sick this morning and I quickly grew tired of listening to the constant drone. I told her; "Just stop it! You asked for it, now live with it and quit complaining!" Her late husband was always dumb enough to deny her a new dog and she'd spite him and get one anyway. I guess she misconstrued my suggestion as an order of denial. I knew the whole deal that would come from raising another dog up from a pup and she conveniently chose to ignore it until the work involved started wearing her down. Sorry my love. I'm not picking up your slack on this one.

Women! Can't live with them and can't kill them.:-?

Well, I learned to live with the little dogs, but this is a big standard poodle. I've already noticed the back of her new car the armrest are deeply scratched...along with the hardwood floors in the house I refinished 6 months ago....

It's funny how the intentions of lies grow....First, it wasn't hers, it was her daughters and it stayed there, but then I find out it is hers. When daughter moved, it came here....It was supposed to go, but she tricked me by agreeing to ....do whatever I wanted, which didn't last more than a week.....

Now it's had diarrhea all day, my fault as well. Thankfully, it's at the kennel tonight.....

To add insult to injury, at this moment I have color in my hair at her request....

[Aktungbby]

She tricked me with some good sex to keep it. ......You've had 'bad' enough to know the difference!!:k_confused:with apology to Rodney Dangerfield.:timeout:

I would think that by now you'd recognize your wife's feminine wiles before you got snookered.:hmmm: Can't live with them and can't kill them.:-? It's been a wile since he's recognized much:D Statistically the wives outlast us; collect the life insurance and then snooker away the $$$ on 'boy toys'. My bride, the fair Echidna, might delay on the house, water or car payment but the $800K life policy on me... paid up w/o fail BBY!:()1: "WolfiBBy"? "what AkiBBY"? " Ain't love grand!:O: @ Eichhornchen: my big lopper's been knackered for decades.:woot:

[nikimcbee]

Wait, what?...nikimcbee married your mother?... :hmmm:


<O>


Zoinks!:o:hmmm::haha:

[nikimcbee]

Well he must've married my mother too, which makes them both bigamists...

Double zoinks!

Wait, are they hot?

What I ordered.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/08/21/article-1047659-025D63C300000578-954_468x529.jpg
***Mr. Hefner not included. Wives may appear different than packaging.


What I received.
http://www.bodytribe.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/tdy_wolfe_custodylaw_080419300w.jpg

[Armistead]

You've had 'bad' enough to know the difference!!:k_confused:with apology to Rodney Dangerfield.:timeout:

It's been a wile since he's recognized much:D Statistically the wives outlast us; collect the life insurance and then snooker away the $$$ on 'boy toys'. My bride, the fair Echidna, might delay on the house, water or car payment but the $800K life policy on me... paid up w/o fail BBY!:()1: "WolfiBBy"? "what AkiBBY"? " Ain't love grand!:O: @ Eichhornchen: my big lopper's been knackered for decades.:woot:





Think that''s the goal, get us married, then turn into blood sucking vampires until they kill us, take our lives work and find em a boy toy... I think I'm gonna forget to pay the premiums on my life insurance....

[Aktungbby]

Double zoinks!

Wait, are they hot?

What I ordered.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/08/21/article-1047659-025D63C300000578-954_468x529.jpg
***Mr. Hefner not included. Wives may appear different than packaging.


What I received.
http://www.bodytribe.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/tdy_wolfe_custodylaw_080419300w.jpg

This one's Hotter!:rock: (latest commercial- A Brit to boot! :oops:) where's the defibrillator!:dead:http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/09/30/1412086328079_wps_23_Viagra.jpg

[Red October1984]

I'm about pissed at the (obviously) woman who was driving behind me tonight. She had her high beams on the entire time. A car would come the opposite direction, she'd turn them off and then she'd turn them back on when they passed.

I eventually pulled over and let her pass. Some lady in a Red Jeep SUV.

Grrrgh. :/\\!!

[Eichhörnchen]

Maybe if enough people visiting the forum read this it might just make a difference: dumb people driving in the FOG with just their parking-lights on! You need other motorists to be able to SEE YOU!

Are these perhaps the same drivers who display their foglights on bright clear days? Also annoying.

[Jimbuna]

I am going to share some inside information with you guys...I hope you appreciate it. :D

[/URL]

Most definitely :yep:

[Wolferz]

Let's argue with Donna.:O:

[Armistead]

Damn it, I don't recall ever falling out of bed, but I did last night and busted my head on the corner of the bed table. I dreamed I was in the river with Bear sort of swimming/walking at night and a bunch of huge snakes like 30 ft long were trying to eat Bear. I started hitting one on the head, but it was like hitting concrete over and over and bam...I'm on the floor. I think I was smacking the bed table with my hand and missed and went over.

Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much Nyquil last night.....damn cold.. Guess I'll walk around looking like a beaten man for a week...

[Armistead]

Let's argue with Donna.:O:

Let's not... Last time we did, she told us that brain size actually does matter..

[STEED]

My current government
cost of living
Bills

And so on....

But for me the the crowning do-do in pipe goes to bloody radio adverts that really piss me off and anger up my blood for a great number of reasons! :hulk::hulk::hulk::hulk::hulk::hulk::hulk::hulk:

[Wolferz]

Let's not... Last time we did, she told us that brain size actually does matter..

As always, it's not how big it is, it's how you use it.:know:

[Aktungbby]

which brain?:O:

[nikimcbee]

I hate the political ads running right now. I hate political ads period. Don't care which party they are for.

[STEED]

I hate the political ads running right now. I hate political ads period. Don't care which party they are for.

Not even Big Buxom Jane's big boob party? :o

No....Just as well I made it up. :rotfl2:

[Wolferz]

Armistead,
Are you sure that you fell out of bed?
You may have been kicked for pounding on that snake laying next to you.:O:

[Armistead]

Armistead,
Are you sure that you fell out of bed?
You may have been kicked for pounding on that snake laying next to you.:O:

I did that once, can't recall the dream, but wife woke me up and said I hit her in her mouth. I certainly wouldn't have done it on purpose......but I'm not so sure she believed me.

[Tango589]

I've copped an elbow in the throat from my wife when she's been 'sleeping'. She said it was an accident...:hmmm: I later made up for it by kicking her when I was fast asleep.

[Eichhörnchen]

I know someone who had to spend a while sleeping in another room after he woke up one night with his hands around his wife's throat. He was as frightened by it as she was...

[swamprat69er]

Guess I'll walk around looking like a beaten man for a week...
Blame it on the wife.:D

[Eichhörnchen]

Financial institutions who rob people and are then said to be guilty of (and I quote this from the radio) "sub-optimal behaviour".


("Your Honour, when my client nicked that car and robbed that Post Office he was not guilty of a crime, as such; merely sub-optimal behaviour")

[Wolferz]

Financial institutions who rob people and are then said to be guilty of (and I quote this from the radio) "sub-optimal behaviour".


("Your Honour, when my client nicked that car and robbed that Post Office he was not guilty of a crime, as such; merely sub-optimal behaviour")

That's right up there with that other malady... Affluenza.:hmmm:

[Eichhörnchen]

Last week I watched a bloke leave a toilet cubicle in a swanky local department store without troubling to wash his hands. Wifey and I had just been discussing how often we'd seen this happen so I decided to follow him and watch just where he put his maungy little paws next.

Downstairs he skipped, and on his way out stopped at the cologne counter and doused himself from a sample bottle of aftershave.

I thought "You dirty little git"

[STEED]

Last week I watched a bloke leave a toilet cubicle in a swanky local department store without troubling to wash his hands. Wifey and I had just been discussing how often we'd seen this happen so I decided to follow him and watch just where he put his maungy little paws next.

Downstairs he skipped, and on his way out stopped at the cologne counter and doused himself from a sample bottle of aftershave.

I thought "You dirty little git"

Seen it time and time again, while having a No.1 these dirty buggers step out the cubical after a No.2 and off they go to spread their germs around.

Is it so hard to wash your hands? Clearly in their case yes, I always wash my hands after a No.1 & 2.

[Eichhörnchen]

My missus says that in the Ladies, the more swanky the female is who emerges after squeezing one off, the less likely she is to wash her hands...

[Jimbuna]

Well if I'm tbh, one of my favourite tricks when out on the town with the boys would be to wash after either but not dry the hands....on many an occasion you would meet someone you knew entering the toilet area as you were exiting and a quick "How are you doing?" and a shake from your wet hand would produce a priceless expression/reaction from the other party.

[swamprat69er]

Well if I'm tbh, one of my favourite tricks when out on the town with the boys would be to wash after either but not dry the hands....on many an occasion you would meet someone you knew entering the toilet area as you were exiting and a quick "How are you doing?" and a shake from your wet hand would produce a priceless expression/reaction from the other party.

:timeout:Did he just pee on his hand?:timeout:

[Eichhörnchen]

I looked at the rear offside tyre on this bloke's car once and it was so smooth you could almost see your face in it. I knew it was no good telling him, so I told his wife because I knew she'd nag him into a trip to Kwikfit, which she did. I did this 'cos my kid was going to be travelling in this car at some point, and it's not even like his car was a shed.

Check pressures AND tread!

[Jimbuna]

:timeout:Did he just pee on his hand?:timeout:

Most definitely not.

[swamprat69er]

I looked at the rear offside tyre on this bloke's car once and it was so smooth you could almost see your face in it. I knew it was no good telling him, so I told his wife because I knew she'd nag him into a trip to Kwikfit, which she did. I did this 'cos my kid was going to be travelling in this car at some point, and it's not even like his car was a shed.

Check pressures AND tread!

I change out the 5 tires/tyres on the Jeep every two years, mainly because when I retire I will not likely have the extra money to buy new tires at $250.oo ea. The slightly used tires are stored on their sidewalls in my shed (no sunshine getting on them to rot the rubber), under lock and key.

With the big truck, when the tires are down to the wear bars.....off they go. Especially if I am about to go Northwest for the summer. Tires in northwestern Ontario are way more expensive and harder to get than they are nearer to Toronto. It does help that my company has 1/2 interest in a tire shop.

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

Was gonna say pee me off....This thread is for me and anyone else that needs to vent or explain.

My wife did it again, bought a big show poodle....after I said NO! She tricked me with some good sex to keep it. Just now, I had 3 large steaks marinating on the kitchen counter and buttered bread ready to go into the oven. That beast ate every bit of it......

And people wonder why I'm on the fence about marriage.

Me, I HATE California drivers. Little old ladies on their way to the Native American rez, driving 15.5 kph (I use metric. Its easier and I picked it up in England) on a two-lane, no passing highway. Should you go the other way, you have put up with people sitting off your quarter panel, two idiots in either lane ahead of you competing for 'Slowest Diver' award, or playing 'Goody Two Shoes' whenever a sherriff or CHP officer is nearby (We're out of the city police department's jurisdiction). If not that, they engage in one of the below while driving.

1: Texting/talking w/o hands-free device (illegal)
2: Reading the newspaper (TECHNICALLY illegal)
3: Smoking
4: Eating with both hands
5: Applying makeup.
6: Pickin' a winner (I kid you not)
7: Paying more attention to the inside of their eyelids

The list goes on...

[Tango589]

Little old ladies on their way to the Native American rez, driving 15.5 kph (I use metric. Its easier and I picked it up in England)

But, but, but, although 15.5 kph is indeed metric, we always use miles for speed and distances on the road. True we do use metric measurements when it suits us (measuring lengths of wood etc. to cut, colder temperature readings (because 0* C sound colder than 32*F), weights of goods for sale in shops) but we also use imperial such as measuring warmer temperatures (90*C sounds hotter than 32*F), beer measurements (WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER THE PINT!!:stare:) and measuring peoples height. That's the thing about this country, we can mix measurements with impunity as it confuses the foreigners!:O:

[swamprat69er]

Was gonna say pee me off.


You do know that it is better to be pee'd off than pee'd on.:D

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

But, but, but, although 15.5 kph is indeed metric, we always use miles for speed and distances on the road. True we do use metric measurements when it suits us (measuring lengths of wood etc. to cut, colder temperature readings (because 0* C sound colder than 32*F), weights of goods for sale in shops) but we also use imperial such as measuring warmer temperatures (90*C sounds hotter than 32*F), beer measurements (WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER THE PINT!!:stare:) and measuring peoples height. That's the thing about this country, we can mix measurements with impunity as it confuses the foreigners!:O:

You English buggers. You drive a man to drink. Just look at us Scots- and Irishmen.

To Subsim, Neal, and whatever else we deem drinkable to (a.k.a, nigh everything)

[swamprat69er]

and whatever else we deem drinkable to (a.k.a, nigh everything)
I much prefer my Scottish distilled water. It is soooooooo much sweeter.:D

[donna52522]

You do know that it is better to be pee'd off than pee'd on.:D

I am sure there are some that would argue that.

[Armistead]

I am sure there are some that would argue that.

yea, the entire crew of the bilge....cept maybe one..

[swamprat69er]

I am sure there are some that would argue that.
Those that are 'into' golden showers would surely argue that point, but I am not. So I will restate that it is better to be pee'd off than pee'd on.:D

[Eichhörnchen]

What makes me mad is when I see one of those cosmetics ads where they're all standing around in long white coats just like real-live boffins, and guess what: they've developed a "serum" to make women look younger.

A SERUM is what is being developed right now, using antibodies from human blood, to help combat the ebola virus, that's what a serum is...:nope:

[Eichhörnchen]

What also makes me mad is when I hear some new music, theatre or other art being described as "challenging" or "difficult" when they suspect it's going to give people a pain. There's no need to be PC about this: if it's crap then just say so.

[Eichhörnchen]

Armistead already started a good thread a short while back called "Look Alikes" which, unfortunately, did not get much of a response; well something that makes me mad is when some reader or journalist in, say, a TV-listings mag makes the observation that so-and-so in the movies looks "uncannily" like so-and-so in sports, and then they go on to print photos side by side of two people who don't look remotely like one-another.

http://i.imgur.com/4Ya1k2Q.jpg?1
Robbie Coltrane


http://i.imgur.com/o9AH9tr.jpg?1
Conleth Hill


(Frankly, I don't see it myself...)

[vanjast]

...and guess what: they've developed a &quot;serum&quot; to make women look younger.



Pardon me.. I'm a bit hard of hearing... did you say Semen ? :)

[Eichhörnchen]

Nah... a serum. A semen is a bloke who drives a submarine or a ship.

[nikimcbee]

Your wife or the poodle? :arrgh!:
I forgot all about this thread.:haha:

So you have 5 dogs? How's your horde doing?

Two is enough for me.

[em2nought]

POTUS makes me so mad! I really need a doggy friend. :yep:

[ReallyDedPoet]

Montreal Canadians - hate that team....

[Jeff-Groves]

The fact anyone can tag me on FaceBook and I can't stop them.
:stare:

[Jimbuna]

The fact anyone can tag me on FaceBook and I can't stop them.
:stare:

I notice you have deactivated your FB account.

[Eichhörnchen]

Big signs in the hospital Outpatients waiting area telling us how much of their time we've wasted not turning up for appointments. Why does this make me mad? Well I've been TRYING to cancel a follow-up appointment for a hospital test, only because an appointment for said test never arrived. But each time I phone I'm told I'm tenth in the queue, so I wrote to cancel the appointment two weeks ago, only to receive yesterday a useful text message reminding me of my appointment! The text message gave me a new number to ring if I no longer needed the appointment, or I could email if I liked. I rang the new number but got the same recorded message telling me I was tenth in the queue; I emailed, only to be told by my server that the format was wrong. So I decided the only way to cancel this damned thing is to go to the hospital Outpatients dept in person. And WHO'S time is getting wasted???

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/Wl7aeCh.jpg?1

"I'll tell you what really boils my piss: young people!"

[Wolferz]

Nug pee in the ward room coffee kind of chaps me arse.:-?