View Full Version : Lets start an 'advice for life' thread
Tango589
10-12-13, 07:08 AM
I reckon we should start a thread where we can post snippets of advice for all subsimmers to see to help make life a bit more bearable. If possible also post where you reeived this gem of information.
I'll start:
'Keep dry and away from children.'
Seen on the back of a box of matches.
Don't post threads like these on subsim. It only encourages them.
Just thought of it after reading your post.:D
Jimbuna
10-12-13, 08:02 AM
Agreed.
Having read the post above mine :)
Platapus
10-12-13, 08:56 AM
Don't sweat the petty things
Don't pet the sweaty things
Armistead
10-12-13, 09:20 AM
Be wary of giving advice, wise men don't need it, fools won't heed it!
Platapus
10-12-13, 09:35 AM
Two rules in life
1. Never tell anyone everything that you know
2.
Jimbuna
10-12-13, 10:26 AM
Keep off the grass.
CaptainHaplo
10-12-13, 10:27 AM
Never bet on a horse named "Slowpoke".
Tango589
10-12-13, 10:38 AM
Never wear a hat with fruit on.
"You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Slim" :yep:
Tchocky
10-12-13, 12:30 PM
When a sign says “Do not feed the bears,” man, you better not feed the bears.
Always drink good red wine at meal!
Red October1984
10-12-13, 01:32 PM
Don't sweat the petty things
Don't pet the sweaty things
Two rules in life
1. Never tell anyone everything that you know
2.
I like those. :rotfl2:
Tango589
10-12-13, 01:45 PM
If you haven't got protection, tie her legs together!
Discussed during a drunken week-end in Paris
Don't eat yellow snow! :stare:
Jimbuna
10-12-13, 02:58 PM
None of us is as clever as all of us.
Wolferz
10-12-13, 03:02 PM
Don't take the yellow acid man.
I thought the yellow acid was ok. It's the brown stuff you gotta watch out for.
If it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, and swims like a duck, its most likely to be a duck.
Tchocky
10-12-13, 05:06 PM
Never get the extended warranty.
frau kaleun
10-12-13, 05:10 PM
When Mister Safety Catch is not on, Mister Crossbow is not your friend.
Tchocky
10-12-13, 05:11 PM
Verbatim from my Dad.
"Son, if you ever get married, don't"
http://thisainthell.us/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/claymore-thumb1.jpg
Platapus
10-12-13, 06:12 PM
There is no "I" in Team.
Looks like there is no "U" either. :nope:
Platapus
10-12-13, 06:13 PM
Remember, you can't spell Failure
without URA. :yep:
There is no "I" in Team.
Looks like there is no "U" either. :nope:
But there is a "ME" if you look carefully enough. :03:
EDIT: Also, Stressed spelt backwards is Desserts.
Tango589
10-12-13, 08:05 PM
If it's your turn to buy a round, nip to the gents'.
frau kaleun
10-12-13, 08:40 PM
Stressed spelt backwards is Desserts.
Able was I ere I saw Elba?
http://i.chzbgr.com/imagestore/2011/8/24/1da14584-b7d2-4baf-b5a2-568d51f3b2c2.jpg
Tacocat is not amused. :O:
Red October1984
10-12-13, 09:35 PM
Tacocat is not amused. :O:
Was I the only one that got this?
Stressed = dessertS
Tacocat = tacocaT
Tango589
10-12-13, 09:36 PM
no, I got it too!:woot:
fireftr18
10-12-13, 10:10 PM
Do not attribute to malice what can be attributed to stupidity. :hmm2:
Tango589
10-12-13, 10:50 PM
Eagles may fly high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!
Jimbuna
10-13-13, 05:13 AM
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Cybermat47
10-13-13, 05:15 AM
Don't get mad, get even.
Originally said by FDR I believe.
Jimbuna
10-13-13, 05:40 AM
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Sailor Steve
10-13-13, 06:22 AM
Was I the only one that got this?
Stressed = dessertS
Tacocat = tacocaT
Did anyone not get something that obvious?
Yeah but mine was a genuine PALINDROME:salute::har:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUQDzj6R3p4
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
It's true. I should know. :dead:
Platapus
10-13-13, 07:12 AM
Blessed is the man who earns the love of an old dog. :yep:
Jimbuna
10-13-13, 08:41 AM
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
Wolferz
10-13-13, 09:32 AM
Blessed is the man who earns the love of an old dog. :yep:
I can hear you now...
"Bring me my beer bitch!"
Oh, and, barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen getting a man his supper is NOT a job description for modern day women. No matter how much the GOP espouses it.
Tango589
10-13-13, 11:10 AM
Which two on a sheep ranch?:har:
Hey, damn it, I'm NOT Welsh! (or Kiwi for that matter):haha:
Never belong to a club that would have you as a member!
Jimbuna
10-13-13, 11:24 AM
The usual culprits on the same thread?? All 4 ONE!:/\\chop:rotfl2::rotfl2::rotfl2::rotfl2:A bigger basket mon ami:|\\and ONE 4 ALL:huh:
Lest you be 'dismembered':/\\!!...:/\\chop :oops: (a little more off the top Francois)
I married a divorce atty: Philosophically: I'm content; I can run but I can't hide! And I'd just die tired anyway!:/\\!!
Advice for life on SubSim....Learn to use the multi quote button.
Sailor Steve
10-13-13, 11:29 AM
Never belong to a club that would have you as a member!
I learned long ago to apply Groucho's famous quote to my own life. I have my standards. I would never date a woman who would go out with me. :dead:
Platapus
10-13-13, 11:34 AM
Two rules in life
1. Don't sweat the small stuff
2. Everything is small stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l87UV5gYa5s
Red October1984
10-13-13, 12:46 PM
Did anyone not get something that obvious?
Well I didn't notice that it even registered with anybody...
:88)
Jimbuna
10-13-13, 01:28 PM
Well I didn't notice that it even registered with anybody...
:88)
Always trust in the force whilst trying to block out the repetitive background noise.
Wolferz
10-13-13, 02:14 PM
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If you don't take it out and use it
It's going to rust
:know:
Jimbuna
10-13-13, 02:55 PM
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If you don't take it out and use it
It's going to rust
:know:
So that's what the marriage councellor was referring to :hmmm:
Sailor Steve
10-13-13, 02:59 PM
Well I didn't notice that it even registered with anybody...
:88)
Just because one sees something it doesn't mean one always finds it that funny.
Just because someone finds something funny it doesn't mean one always feels the need to comment on it. :sunny:
Try? There is no try. Only do or not do.
Madox58
10-13-13, 08:09 PM
When you are trying to get hired full time?
Don't tell the other 2 Guys after the same job they are working too fast for you so slow down.
They WILL throw you under the Bus!!
:har:
That's real life and happened here just a day ago!!
:haha:
When opening a YubbaBubbles thread engage your BS filter.
Jimbuna
10-14-13, 04:17 AM
Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.
Red October1984
10-14-13, 07:34 AM
Just because one sees something it doesn't mean one always finds it that funny.
Just because someone finds something funny it doesn't mean one always feels the need to comment on it. :sunny:
Oh...it's not funny to me...
I heard the whole tacocat thing probably 6,000 times in a week this summer.
There was this ridiculously annoying girl at church camp that I wish would just GET AWAY! Every third word out of her mouth was Tacocat, YOLO, or Forreal. Usually followed by a terribly annoying laugh.
Anyway, here's my advice for today.
Zombieland Rules
1 Cardio
2 The Double Tap
3 Beware of Bathrooms
4 Wear Seat Belts
5 No Attachments
6 The “Skillet”
7 Travel Light
8 Get a Kick Ass Partner
9 With your Bare Hands
10 Don’t Swing Low
11 Use Your Foot
12 Bounty Paper Towels
13 Shake it Off
14 Always carry a change of underwear
15 Bowling Ball
16 Opportunity Knocks
17 Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
18 Limber Up
19 Break it Up
20 It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
21 Avoid Strip Clubs
22 When in doubt Know your way out
23 Zipplock
24 Use your thumbs
25 Shoot First
26 A little sun screen never hurt anybody
27 Incoming!
28 Double-Knot your Shoes
29 The Buddy System
30 Pack your stain stick
31 Check the back seat
32 Enjoy the little things
33 Swiss army Knife
Wolferz
10-14-13, 01:21 PM
Oh...it's not funny to me...
I heard the whole tacocat thing probably 6,000 times in a week this summer.
There was this ridiculously annoying girl at church camp that I wish would just GET AWAY! Every third word out of her mouth was Tacocat, YOLO, or Forreal. Usually followed by a terribly annoying laugh.
Preacher's daughter looking to be deflowered maybe?:03: nyuk nyuk nyuk
Anyway, here's my advice for today.
Zombieland Rules
1 Cardio
2 The Double Tap
3 Beware of Bathrooms
4 Wear Seat Belts
5 No Attachments
6 The “Skillet”
7 Travel Light
8 Get a Kick Ass Partner
9 With your Bare Hands
10 Don’t Swing Low
11 Use Your Foot
12 Bounty Paper Towels
13 Shake it Off
14 Always carry a change of underwear
15 Bowling Ball
16 Opportunity Knocks
17 Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
18 Limber Up
19 Break it Up
20 It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
21 Avoid Strip Clubs
22 When in doubt Know your way out
23 Zipplock
24 Use your thumbs
25 Shoot First
26 A little sun screen never hurt anybody
27 Incoming!
28 Double-Knot your Shoes
29 The Buddy System
30 Pack your stain stick
31 Check the back seat
32 Enjoy the little things
33 Swiss army Knife
All things every good Boy Scout, Jedi Knight and Zombie Hunter knows.:salute:
Tango589
10-14-13, 03:05 PM
If you're changing your car wheel and knock the wheel nuts down the drain, take one nut off each remaining wheel and use them. Three wheel nuts on each wheel is enough to get you home.
(Don't blame me if this ends in disaster)
u crank
10-14-13, 03:37 PM
Happy wife, happy life. :03:
Red October1984
10-14-13, 04:45 PM
Preacher's daughter looking to be deflowered maybe?:03: nyuk nyuk nyuk
Ah...no...at least not by me.
I was a Jr. Counselor...this girl was my Sr. Counselor's Girlfriend and Arts/Crafts Assistant.
She complained every day when I took off Crafts for my hour off.
Was ridiculously annoying... :nope:
All things every good Boy Scout, Jedi Knight and Zombie Hunter knows.:salute:
I'm only one of the three... :) But I've got others that are equivalent.
swamprat69er
10-14-13, 11:33 PM
Told to me by my father, "If it smells bad, don't eat it"
Armistead
10-14-13, 11:53 PM
Wear brown underwear......
Jimbuna
10-15-13, 07:55 AM
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Wolferz
10-15-13, 08:30 AM
Ya' mean (boyscout handbook) yer actually "Brave, Clean and... Reverent"!???:hmmm: :k_confused::/\\chop ( then you'll need a closer shave
Sorry, it's against my religion to shave.:arrgh!:
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