View Full Version : The Ashes 2013 Thread
England should be forced to wear nappies in the next match.
Jonathan Trott has left the tour due to a stress related disease. So who'll take his place in the side?
Jimbuna
11-25-13, 04:04 PM
ME!! :sunny:
You're likely to score about as many runs as him so why not. :D
2nd test under way. Australia won the toss abd ia batting with some showers about. 1-100 with Warner going to an ordinary delivery from Broad. Not a bad start but better than our recent form .
Watson out for 51. Not a bad score as he's needed to get some runs. 2-155. :sunny:
BossMark
12-05-13, 12:36 AM
Hmm 185-4 :hmm2:
4-200. Honours are about even
4-256 Clarke and Bailey appear to be steady Nice to see Bailey get his first test 50 up. Hope he goes on with it.
Jimbuna
12-05-13, 05:35 AM
:shifty:http://imgcash2.imageshack.us/img105/4302/snoregb2.gif
5-273 at stumps. Not much in it for either side. Both had good and bad. Tomorrow should be interesting.
Day two off to a good start with Clarke notching his 50.
5-300 might see some more open batting now.
nikimcbee
12-05-13, 08:05 PM
So you're saying I should wear the Aussie cricket hat then?:03:
At the moment yes. :)
Good first session for Australia with Clarke getting his second ton in consecutive innings and he and Haddin adding 116 for no loss. 5-389 at the lunch break.
Clarke out for 148 just missing out on his ton and a half and Stokes picking up his first ever test wicket. 5-457 with Australia dominant. Johnson comes to the crease.
8-516 at tea. Haddin is likely to run out of partners before the English bowler's get him. Good to see a couple of pommy bowlers with tons against their names again. Starting to seem like old times. Still I think our bowling will need to be top notch on this pitch.
Clarke declared at 9/570 and the poms have lost Cook for 3. Woot.
Day 3 and the poms are 2-57 after Root scooped Lyon into the deep and Rogers nabbed a good catch.:woot:
Pietersen gone for not much. Nice work Siddle. 3-69! Jason you can throw that blue hat in the bin. :D
Its all happening now. England collasping to 7-117! Johnson bowling superbly.:woot:
9-141! Not long now.:woot:
Poms all done at 172. No follow on and we're 2-26 already. :stare:
darius359au
12-07-13, 06:44 AM
Poms all done at 172. No follow on and we're 2-26 already. :stare:
I don't know ,530 lead at stumps isn't too bad :03::D
BossMark
12-07-13, 07:48 AM
two test three innings and cant score over 200 in either bloody useless sods:nope:
I don't know ,530 lead at stumps isn't too bad :03::D
True but they looked shaky till Warner steadied the innings.
Clarke making a bit of a surprise declaration staying with the overnight score and Johnson has struck again! England 1-1 in the 2nd over!:woot:
England struggling to stay alive in this match. 5-171.
two test three innings and cant score over 200 in either bloody useless sods:nope:
There you go BossMark. 200 up. Only 331 to get.
4 wickets to get. C'mon Australia!
darius359au
12-08-13, 06:05 PM
Aaaannddd it raining here this morning :down: ,I'm wondering if the English had a rain dance going all night.
Of course they did. It's the only thing that can save them from defeat in this match.
The rain has stopped and we've picked up a wicket already.
Two quick wickets and England is 9-301.
And that's the match. 2-0 to Australia.
I might have to revise my forecast. The team without the ticker is not the one I thought it was.
So what's happened to England in 3 months?
http://images.smh.com.au/2013/12/09/4994736/art-svLEAD-620x349.jpg
Come on you cons, smash those nappy bed wetters for six. :rotfl2:
Looks like England is back to the bad old days and if there is a white wash pelt them with rotten fruit and veg when they try to sneak back to the UK via the back door.
Looks like the pommy papers have thrown the towel in already. http://m.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/english-media-hit-shambolic-cricket-team-for-six-20131210-2z345.html
Heads will roll when they return home and a new captain? :hmmm:
Perth test starts today. Should be home from work to watch the final session. Forecast is sunny and 38deg C. Hope the poms don't melt. Five days over 37 expected. Phew what a real scorcher.
Both Clarke and Cook are celebrating their 100th test. I wonder who will be celebrating by the end?
Australia won the toss and are batting. 2 Quick wickets and we are 2-53. Not a stellar start.
:hmmm: 5-203. Our batting could be better.
Good to see Smith get his first ton on Australian soil. Well played. 6-302.
The poms need to get a move on with the bowling. They are taking way too long between overs.
Australia on top after the first day. Looks like there is a bit of bounce in the pitch and if we can bat till lunch then get some quick wickets we can put the poms to the sword for this series.
Day 2 Australia all out for 385. Now to see what Johnson can do with this pitch.
BossMark
12-14-13, 12:46 AM
WOW a fifty partnership 51-0 :cool:
C'mon Australia we need some wickets
Yeeahh! 2-90 keep em coming.
Good bowling Australia. 2-91 @ tea.
England struggling. 8-229 :sunny:
Australia should be batting soon.
darius359au
12-14-13, 11:25 PM
aaannnd all done for 251
Nice little lead for the 1st innings.:sunny:
Woot 0-124. Lead out to 258. Looking like a tough day in the field for England. :woot:
Watson gets his ton then gets out in a comedy of errors. Lead out to 463. Declaration coming up just before lunch I'd say.
And there's the declaration. England have a mammoth task to get 504 with the remaining sessions today and all day tomorrow to keep the series alive. Looking like a 3-0 drubbing on the cards. The cracks in the pitch are huge and the batting from England so far this series hasn't shown the resilience needed to save this test.
Oh yeah! Cook bowled by Harris. England 1-5
5-236 could see a result tonight!
Stumps on day 4. Should be all done by lunch tomorrow.
Day 5. Australia were sweating on the breakthrough. Prior out. 6-296. C'mon 4 more wickets and the urn returns.
Must commend Stokes on his batting. He may be the first pom to post a ton this series.
He did it. Well played young man. He's given Australia something to think about. Lunch and England need 172 runs and Australia needs 4 more wickets.
Stokes gone. 3 to go. This is the real count down.
2 left. Broad comes out with his foot strapped up like a mummy.
And that's the Ashes. Thanks for coming England. 3-0!
BossMark
12-17-13, 02:22 AM
Useless buggers getting humiliated and shown up by a bunch of cons :wah:
darius359au
12-17-13, 04:05 AM
Seriously what happened to England? ,three months ago they could play cricket now it's like they got a bunch of school kids out there - they were prepared to fight for every ball and wicket back in England now its like they loose a wicket and the whole team just gives up:/\\!!
It's great we got the ashes back but it should have been a much closer battle based on earlier form :nope:
THE_MASK
12-17-13, 05:25 AM
Ashes please , thankyou :timeout:
Tango589
12-17-13, 05:41 AM
We gave the Ashes to you as it's christmas, a time of peace on earth and good will to all (even Australians):O:
If you are good little poms we might lend them to you again in about 10 years.:O:
All the talk in the media is of a 5-0 whitewash. What odds of an English comeback in Melbourne?
http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/cricket/ashes-2013-14-andy-flower-points-2941371
Andy Flower reckons the pommy batsmen need a good kick up the jacksie to get them going.
From performances so far I think the next two games are Australia's to lose.
EDIT:Did I mention that we've won the Ashes 3-0? :O:
WELL DONE AUSTRALIA. :yeah:
England went down under with a smug big head school boy attitude thinking it was in the bag and they rightful got a dam good six of the best from the cons.
Horse/pig/sheep/cow muck ready to throw at the bunch of sad sacks when they touch down.
Swann's retirement announcement seems to have shocked a few people. Sounds like he's lost the will to play at top level in the long form of the game.
http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-24/grandmother-blames-nasty-aussies-for-swann-exit/5173420
This is priceless! :har:
Swann also hinted at at some pommy cricketers having their heads up their own backsides. :hmmm: Sounds like the pommy squad are not a cohesive unit at the moment.
Jimbuna
12-23-13, 05:10 PM
Nothing priceless or humorous about a granmothers defence of her grandson...she obviously has insider information.
Nothing priceless or humorous about a granmothers defence of her grandson...she obviously has insider information.
:har: :har: I can't imagine why she'd think the pommy team were not made welcome. We had a very warm reception waiting for them.http://images.zaazu.com/img/The-Devil-devil-fire-monster-smiley-emoticon-000833-medium.gif
Jimbuna
12-24-13, 04:31 AM
I've a suspicion the true facts will be revealed after this series (that never was IMO) finishes and world opinion in cricketing terms may well turn against Australia.
I may well be wrong...I have been many times before.
I've a suspicion the true facts will be revealed after this series (that never was IMO) finishes and world opinion in cricketing terms may well turn against Australia.
I may well be wrong...I have been many times before.
I don't see why it would. Compared to past events in other parts of the world this has simply been a very competitive team outplaying a poorly prepared outfit that should have understood it was on the slide and not still on the way up.
There's a saying that if you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, that I think applies in this case. Swann has decided he's had enough and wants out. Big deal.
Jimbuna
12-24-13, 05:42 AM
I don't see why it would. Compared to past events in other parts of the world this has simply been a very competitive team outplaying a poorly prepared outfit that should have understood it was on the slide and not still on the way up.
There's a saying that if you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, that I think applies in this case. Swann has decided he's had enough and wants out. Big deal.
No, I think it goes further than that but to what extent I have yet to learn of.
For all I know it may well have been Pietersen he was referring to.
Horse muck for sale, 1st class pure 100% horse muck for sale get it now to pelt the washout England cricket team with.
http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-24/swann-blasts-27pathetic27-journalists/5174320#PhotoSwipe1387971071579
Curiouser and curiouser... :hmmm:
Scum in the Geordie Journal?
Less than half an hour till the first ball of the test in Melbourne. Looks like it could be a record crowd. Last time the record was set we won 5-0. The stands were still under construction back then so should see a packed house today.
Clarke won the toss and elected to bowl first. Bit of a surprise.
First day looked like being a bit bleak for both sides, but I reckon Australia is a nose in front at stumps. 91,092 in the stands making a world record crowd for a single day at a test.
Here's something to cheer up any Brits who have been down in the dumps:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ePx61TkXKY
Aussies, you can bowl this guy out any day of the week. :up:
Jimbuna
12-27-13, 03:49 PM
Here's something to cheer up any Brits who have been down in the dumps:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ePx61TkXKY
Aussies, you can bowl this guy out any day of the week. :up:
He didn't do too badly in actual fact :yeah:
He didn't do too badly in actual fact :yeah:
To be fair, he held his ground, when others would have bailed, but still, goes to show it's not as easy as some people think.
I'll give Piers his due, he stayed the course. As for being able to bat. He's not quite as hapless as the Pommy XI. All done for 179! Last 5 wickets gone for 6 runs. Australia with it all there for the taking with two days play 10 wickets in hand and 201 runs to get. Go boys.
Here's something to cheer up any Brits who have been down in the dumps:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ePx61TkXKY
Aussies, you can bowl this guy out any day of the week. :up:
If that link is Toff Boy I rather have the abbos throwing sharp spears at him.
If that link is Toff Boy I rather have the abbos throwing sharp spears at him.
That can be arranged.:D
That can be arranged.:D
COOL :yeah:
nikimcbee
12-28-13, 04:41 PM
Horse muck for sale, 1st class pure 100% horse muck for sale get it now to pelt the washout England cricket team with.
So how's your horse muck business going?
So how's your horse muck business going?
Going well, I'm thinking about branching out to Tiger and Lion dung for the rich bastards who can afford my prices. :88)
nikimcbee
12-28-13, 04:49 PM
Going well, I'm thinking about branching out to Tiger and Lion dung for the rich bastards who can afford my prices. :88)
Okay, just stay away from the business end of the cat.
Okay, just stay away from the business end of the cat.
I'm going no where near a Tiger or Lion while there taking a dump! :o :har:
Jimbuna
12-28-13, 05:17 PM
I'm going no where near a Tiger or Lion while there taking a dump! :o :har:
Wise decision...kangaroos are pretty formidable boxers too so I hear.
Wise decision...kangaroos are pretty formidable boxers too so I hear.They like kicking pommy's asses:
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/141/4/f/boxing_kangaroo_by_lawrenceolaf-d3gvbgx.gif
Speaking of which 200 up for the loss of 1. Rogers gets his ton and Watson a 50.
And it's 4-0. See you in Sydney.
XabbaRus
12-29-13, 04:20 PM
We should just go home. What an embarrassment after the commanding way we retained the ashes in summer. You Aussies deserve them back. I really though English cricket had turned a corner.
We should just go home. What an embarrassment after the commanding way we retained the ashes in summer. You Aussies deserve them back. I really though English cricket had turned a corner.
It did, then rolled over and died.
We should just go home. What an embarrassment after the commanding way we retained the ashes in summer. You Aussies deserve them back. I really though English cricket had turned a corner.
It did, at high speed, then it ran into a brick wall called Mitchell Johnson.
http://www.thenational.ae/storyimage/AB/20131122/ARTICLE/131129740/AR/0/AR-131129740.jpg
Here we go in the fifth and final test. Hoping to see the whitewash by Tuesday night. C'mon Australia.
nikimcbee
01-02-14, 07:20 PM
I'm wearing the hat today.:D Very entertaining today working with Indians.:haha::up:
Lots of glares.:rotfl2::sunny:
BossMark
01-03-14, 01:53 AM
Shocking absolutely shocking :nope::nope:
I'm wearing the hat today.:D Very entertaining today working with Indians.:haha::up:
Lots of glares.:rotfl2::sunny:
:up:
BossMark
01-03-14, 02:37 AM
I wish someone would tell Mitchell Johnson that Movember is over :haha:
I wish someone would tell Mitchell Johnson that Movember is over :haha:
He's keeping it because it scares the poms.:O: Since he grew it he's been able to bowl on target.
Sitting here stunned by the poor performance of England.4-17! Great bowling by the Aussie bowlers.
darius359au
01-03-14, 09:29 PM
6/72 this is becoming embarrassing to watch ,only question now is whether Clarke will enforce the follow on:nope:
All done for 155. Aussie lead of 171. Go boys. 5-0 coming up.
Feuer Frei!
01-03-14, 11:46 PM
I wish someone would tell Mitchell Johnson that Movember is over :haha:
Looks like something out of a porn movie.
And a left-handed 1 at that :D
Can't wait to pelt barrels of crap at these loser's at they go to the...:/\\chop
nikimcbee
01-04-14, 01:18 PM
Can't wait to pelt barrels of crap at these loser's at they go to the...:/\\chop
OMG, I found Steed.
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=2160179&postcount=12
:O:
Fat chance, hes got more hair on his head. Must be Tarjak..:shifty::rotfl2:
nikimcbee
01-04-14, 01:44 PM
Fat chance, hes got more hair on his head. Must be Tarjak..:shifty::rotfl2:Steed, are you hair challenged?:hmmm:
Steed, are you hair challenged?:hmmm:
Middle age no escaping it. :rotfl2:
Mind you when I get into my 60's looking forward to popping those blue pills. :har:
nikimcbee
01-04-14, 01:54 PM
Middle age no escaping it. :rotfl2:
Mind you when I get into my 60's looking forward to popping those blue pills. :har:
He's got the hair...
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/36519619.jpg
but no money for the blue pills.
Middle age no escaping it. :rotfl2:
Mind you when I get into my 60's looking forward to popping those blue pills. :har: At 60,not so many years from now,the ya get the women from no man land :D
He looks like your next dodgy president.
He looks like your next dodgy president.Not impossible, it's an election year in Sweden this year.:hmmm:
Jimbuna
01-04-14, 02:07 PM
He looks like your next dodgy president.
A Jimmy Carter lookalike :)
A Jimmy Carter lookalike :)
:rotfl2::rotfl2:
nikimcbee
01-04-14, 02:16 PM
A Jimmy Carter lookalike :)
http://comments16.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/cariobama.gif
:hmmm: Deal! Sold to Steed for a handful of blue pills.
darius359au
01-05-14, 12:29 AM
And it's all done 5 nil whitewash for the series :D
Better luck next time Poms. A comprehensive victory in all 5 tests. Good to see the Poms back in their rightful place.
England drops to 4th in the ICC Test rankings and Australia leapfrogs to 3rd. http://www.espncricinfo.com/rankings/content/current/page/211271.html
BossMark
01-09-14, 07:52 AM
Apparently England cricketers Matt Prior and Stuart Broad stopped a man jumping off a bridge in Sydney.
The would-be jumper later told journalists that the cricketers had made him realize he wasn't the biggest failure in the world.
darius359au
01-09-14, 06:44 PM
Apparently England cricketers Matt Prior and Stuart Broad stopped a man jumping off a bridge in Sydney.
The would-be jumper later told journalists that the cricketers had made him realize he wasn't the biggest failure in the world.
:har::har::har::har:
The White suites are off and the monkey suites are on, will England do better in the one day matches?
BossMark
01-12-14, 03:58 AM
The White suites are off and the monkey suites are on, will England do better in the one day matches?
At the moment no we got 269\7 the convicts are 106\0 :nope:
The White suites are off and the monkey suites are on, will England do better in the one day matches?
Lets hope not.
At the moment no we got 269\7 the convicts are 106\0 :nope:
Looks like not.:D 2/202
I see 1-0 to the cons, England you are a disgrace time for the :/\\chop and start from scratch again.
Lovely. Can we do a white wash in the ODIs? Can the Poms win back some pride?
I don't believe it. The Poms win a match at last.
Against the PMs IX. Good thing he's not a CA selector.
3-0 in the one day series. Looks like another white wash coming. :sunny:
BossMark
01-27-14, 01:12 PM
President Hollande's wife collapsed yesterday on discovering his affair
Makes me think England's cricketers knew about it weeks ago
Wait a minute!
Maybe the women should coach the men?
England retained the Women's Ashes with a nine-wicket win over Australia in the first Twenty20 international at Hobart.
http://sport.bt.com/womeninsport/edwards-leads-england-to-ashes-win-S11363871258720?s_cid=con_BTcomHP
Well played pommy girls. I married one so I know how formidable they are.
Our boys are off on safari now after killing the Lions. Will be interested to see how they go against the Yarpies. I suspect they won't lie down like England did.
Poms lose the T20 series as well as the ODI and Ashes. Flower steps down as coach. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-02-01/andy-flower-steps-down-as-england-cricket-coach/5232304
The all big boob women naked cricket is a great idea. The crowds will flood in to every game.
Jim is already trying to buy tickets on line right now!
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