View Full Version : Pepe Manuel El Magnificent: A Tropico AAR (with lots of shiny pictures)
Hottentot
11-29-10, 08:54 AM
Preface: I remember seeing a Tropico thread here not too long ago, so I take it many of you know the game already. For those of you who don't, our friend Wikipedia is very helpful: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tropico.
Basically, Tropico is a game where you get to be the dictator of your very own Caribbean island and exploit it and its inhabitants in any way you want. As those of you who have played the game know, Tropico can be full of nasty, weird and downright absurd situations with its moody little people and more or less unstable rulers. So I thought it might be a nice game of choice for a humorous after action report.
This is my first attempt at anything like this, so bear with me. I'm planning to divide this into parts with each part consisting of 10 game years plus this first part where I introduce the starting points. The length of the game is 50 years, so it shouldn't be ridiculously long, but enough to have something actually happen before the ending.
So, uh...enjoy, I guess. I'll let my awesome alter ego do the talking from now on.
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PART ONE: THE GLORIOUS BEGINNING
Buenos días! My name is Pepe Manuel. I'm the new El Presidente of the fine island of Tropico. In this autobiography of mine I will be describing the life and times of the most handsome and cunning fellow I have ever met, that is, me. This is also a story about how I turn the small poor island of Tropico into a prosperous happyland, charm beautiful señoritas, drink booze and make lots of money while letting everyone know how awesome I am. Sounds great, right? Of course it's great. Just like me. So keep reading. Maybe you will learn something and can one day be as awesome as me, yours truly, Pepe Manuel El Presidente.
Because most people of Tropico are illate...iletu...illuteriateria...CAN'T READ, I will also share with you many photos from my personal El Presidente Photoalbum.
So let us start. You know, I have always wondered how you should start things like this. Let's try something modest and original, just like I am as a person. So...
http://img830.imageshack.us/img830/5629/36548756.jpg
In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth.
http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/1976/47649516.jpg
This is me. I'm handsome. That's why the señoritas like me.
http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/2840/62181145.jpg
Before I became El Presidente, I used to work at a farm. In that sense I'm like that Jesus guy who also became savior of the world even though he was born in a barn. Then I got pissed off at the former El Presidentte Numero 283's repressive alcohol policy and decided to let him know about it. In that sense I am also like that Jesus person who wrote that Bible book. Mine is better, though.
http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/3922/72389262.jpg
OK, so it didn't work, because apparently El Presidentte Numero 283 couldn't read either. So I staged this rebellion with my great looks and awesome speeches.
Oh yeah, and then I promised free booze for everyone else too and the people wanted me to become the next El Presidente. Who am I to argue?
http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/7223/26079047.jpg
I am good at getting stuff done. I can arrange my liquor collection with a blindfold on!
http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/6577/40540556.jpg
I am also very good at finding new ways at charming señoritas.
http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/5267/84181288.jpg
I am a very social person too. People like me a lot. Well, except those buddies of that Jesus person. They got it all wrong. I am not anti-religion at all. The dude turned water into wine! He is, like, my idol! I want him here to tell me, how we can do that to that stupid useless sea that surrounds our fine island of Tropico.
http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/4775/47995377.jpg
And then of course, I am gorgeous, intelligent, big, strong, hard working, famous, modest and generally speaking awesome. But you already knew that, right?
http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/4520/98847376.jpg
This is our fine island of Tropico. I was born and raised here like most Tropicans. For some reason the rest of the world hasn't yet understood that we are the center of everything and they mostly ignore us. Well, that is going to change.
So, this is my empire. Let's take a closer look.
http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/673/49845932.jpg
Uh...
http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/15/12474576.jpgOK, so in retrospect that torch and can of gasoline wasn't maybe such a hot idea after all. I had to make a point, it was a revolution! I was young and needed money!
http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/6963/88952555.jpgThis is my house. You can also see my fine neighborhood on the right. See, I'm a nice guy and let them live near my awesomeness. What more could they hope for?
http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/1172/10271194.jpgAs El Presidente, I must be able to do the most important things first. That's what El Presidentism For Dummies tells me. So I will start my career by correcting Tropico's most horrible mistake first.
http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/4679/14244798.jpgBetter. Now let's see what our glorious farms produce... (to be continued)
Hottentot
11-29-10, 01:28 PM
PART 2: THE FIRST STEPS
So: what do our fields produce at the moment?
http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/2886/80662500.jpg
Corn...
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/3772/83257069.jpg
More corn...
http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/2566/65765616.jpg
AND YET MORE CORN! What is this?! Luckily for these dumb Tropicans I'm their leader now. So I make them produce something better for the greater glory of me.
http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/7041/69052918.jpg
Like sugar. Lots of it.
What do you mean "what are you going to eat"? You have sugar, you silly people. Eat cake!
http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/988/71438363.jpg
I also decide to build some more farms as well as a bauxite mine while I'm at it.
http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/7984/80093635.jpg
After that I listen to the people. They tell me how great I am. However, they also whine that they don't want to live in cardboard boxes anymore. So be it. As the servant of the people, I decide to build them a house at least as fine as my own. I put in on the seashore. Nice view and they can fish from their own living rooms if they have a really long rod. What more could they hope for?
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/3306/94407636.jpg
After the first year of my mighty rule we see that people love me. Of course they do.
http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/9841/41098752.jpg
Right. Next year Corazon Simpatico comes and tells me our mighty army of three soldiers has too low salary. I am very confused about this, since I don't pay them in the first place. However, I am a nice person and therefore promise to do something about it. I will double their salary.
http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/550/38371221.jpg
The glorious workers of Tropico have finished the fine house on the seashore that I planned myself. See, I told you it would be very nice. But nice housing isn't enough. I know it, because I have a nice house and yet I feel I'm missing something important in my life as El Presidente. You know what this place needs?
http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/4378/64112386.jpg
More pubs! The people approve. However, my great pub building effort makes the friends of that Jesus person come to my doorstep and complain about sin this and damnation that and blah blah blah. In reality, with my sharp psychology skills I know that they are just jealous because they don't have a place of their own to play in.
http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/3249/74496812.jpg
I don't really care for it myself, but because I'm El Presidente of all the people, I decide to build them their own playground. I place it in a key place, truly the heart of Tropico.
http://img130.imageshack.us/img130/2857/93458442.jpg
I also saved them from having to think an appropriate name for the place.
Okay, fundies are happy for a while. I have some time to relax from smoking cigars and drinking booze, so I decide to take a walk in the nearby forest. There a very rude monkey tried to start a revolution of his own and threw me with a coconut. Me! El Presidente! That's it! As my first move in the field of international relations I am proud to announce that people's republic of Tropico is now officially at war with the dictatorship of Monkeystan! We shall triumph!
http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/5523/38510375.jpg
I start by making those sneaky little bastards fight like men instead of hiding in their trees. Die monkey!
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/6949/66141340.jpg
Meanwhile the happy people of Tropico still live in cardboard boxes, so I build them more houses with the same plans. Why fix it if it isn't broken?
http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/4655/88486326.jpg
Hooray! The first pub of Tropico has officially opened! Celebrations are in order! Now we can finally get this state functioning properly!
http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/5643/53144105.jpg
I'm so happy that I build the people a way, so they can more easily walk to the pub. I decide to call it "El Presidente's Booze Avenue", because it sounds good.
http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/2591/97633533.jpg
Then I made an interesting discovery. Apparently as El Presidente I can also decide about laws and such in our fine island. I thought it was very boring but then my El Presidentism For Dummies informed me about Swiss bank accounts and I got interested. So as my first policy I am forced to increase the building costs a little, because the stupid capitalists in America can't protect their dollar (which El Presidente Numero 23 declared as the official currency of Tropico) from inflation. Life is tough.
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/9514/85677557.jpg
That silly Corazon Simpatico comes complaining to me again. Frankly I didn't bother to listen this time.
http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/6590/85042813.jpg
Corazon's cousin Claudio had an accident in work. I had nothing to do with it. Honest.
http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/3305/51746714.jpg
This here is my diplomatic ministry. I use it to make the world better understand that Tropico is the center of the universe. I just wonder if I should be friend of the Russians or Americans.
Hottentot
11-29-10, 01:37 PM
http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/5471/86252655.jpg
(http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/5471/86252655.jpg%5B/img)
A Russian ambassador, who had already heard of our fine pubs, visited me with some vodka from his homeland. It's amazing what you can do from simple potatoes, really! After a bottle I knew exactly whose friend I wanted to be.
http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/6983/93201321.jpg
(http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/6983/93201321.jpg%5B/img)
However, the Americans weren't happy with my decisions. As a revenge they refused to bring me anymore of their cheap cigars. Well so what, I say! I'm El Presidente! I'm making my own cigars from now on! That camel was a dumb mascot anyway!
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/3350/84600607.jpg
Our fine empire has grown!
http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/8388/24269840.jpg
(http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/8388/24269840.jpg%5B/img)
However, the people also have become more sober after my welcoming party. They have suddenly invented democracy and decided that they want elections. Nonsense! Who could be better than me? No one, obviously, so I decide to humor their silly little request.
http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/6910/75371545.jpg
(http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/6910/75371545.jpg%5B/img)
Meanwhile, after a few years of building pubs and other more important stuff, the fundies also get their playground. Maybe they will now stop whining.
http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/2088/15464114.jpg
(http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/2088/15464114.jpg%5B/img)
Hmm, oops. I though when they said "Red Tide", they meant that a shipful of red wine from Spain had stranded on our shores and decided to go for a drink. Which reminds me, the fine island of Tropico doesn't have a doctor...
http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/9083/53371608.jpg
(http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/9083/53371608.jpg%5B/img)
However, now we have a high school. I'm bored at all these dumb people around me.
http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/9793/82453722.jpg
(http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/9793/82453722.jpg%5B/img)
The elections come. I arrange 25% of the people to oppose me just so it would look like a fair competetition. Anyway...
http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/3103/13157228.jpg
(http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/3103/13157228.jpg%5B/img)
Of course I win...
http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/2707/65857190.jpg
(http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/2707/65857190.jpg%5B/img)
...And throw a party again, so people like me more. My first ten years as El Presidente have been very glorious. And this is just the beginning.
TheBrauerHour
11-29-10, 10:35 PM
This is different. I like it. Keep going!
Hottentot
11-30-10, 09:09 AM
Thanks for the feedback :DL. I might do a few of these, if people like them. Then, like usual, I probably get tired of Tropico repeating itself even more than I do and bury it for another few months. But maybe then some other game shows potential for something similar. Writing this is fun.
Ahem. Onwards. After the wild election winning party...
------------------------------
PART 3: PROGRESS
http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/1365/85379105.jpg
(http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/1365/85379105.jpg)
Speaking of parties, why isn't "El Presidente's Booze Avenue" ready yet? It has been under construction for years, damn it! Can't you people see priority order in things?!
Oh well. While I wait, I decide to go outside innu...incage...inquu...I put El Presidente Numero 134's official "Definitely Not The El Presidente You Are Looking For" mask on and go outside to ask people what they think about me.
http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/1876/42553802.jpg
(http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/1876/42553802.jpg)
And not surprisingly right outside my porch I find a fundie. And not surprisingly she is complaining. What do you mean you don't have a church?! I just gave you one! Come, I'll show you!
http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7517/10805967.jpg
(http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7517/10805967.jpg)
Hmm. It appears my El Presidentism For Dummies forgot to tell me that to have a functioning church, I also need to purchase some priests to preach in there. Why weren't they included in the package, I'm just asking? Haven't you ever heard of those little figures that you collect and try to get a whole set? I thought this was the same. Some customer service...
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/726/34396977.jpg
(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/726/34396977.jpg)
Then to other problems. I'm sick of these illegal immigrants that keep moving to my island. Every other person here is John or Judy these days. So I build an immigration office and tell them that only smart and educated immigrants are welcome. That should effectively keep them out.
http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/5334/78762511.jpg
(http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/5334/78762511.jpg)
Hooray! Cigar factory is finally ready! Down with the American oppression!
But guess what this place really needs. Like, really really. Like really really really with extra cream and cherry on the top?
http://img828.imageshack.us/img828/4274/17832851.jpg
(http://img828.imageshack.us/img828/4274/17832851.jpg)
BOOZE FACTORY! I also told them to build a personal suite in there for me. I'm packing my stuff as we speak. I think I'll give my old house to those silly people living in cardboard boxes.
http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/1404/62708842.jpg
(http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/1404/62708842.jpg)
After that I build a college. I don't know what I need it for, but I like that funny little tower on the left. And it cost a lot, so I had to pay some extra Swiss Bank Account taxes for it too.
http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/7042/39178444.jpg
(http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/7042/39178444.jpg)
A short while after that my close advisor told me that Tropico is a fine island, but it doesn't yet have a magical invention called electricity. I asked what we need it for and he told me that people would like to enjoy things such as television, movies, radio and other that kind of stuff. I thought it was ridiculous. What do they need those things for when they can simply come and listen to me give them speeches?
I sacked that advisor because of an unrelated case of him spelling Bourbon wrong on his official announcement on behalf of me. Then I invented electricity and decided that we need something like that on Tropico too. So I build a coal fueled electricity plant.
I'm currently planning marvelous things like you haven't ever seen of. Like a box that speaks and a picture that lives and another box where a funny small man lives and tells you next day's weather. Imagine that!
http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/6408/10373827.jpg
(http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/6408/10373827.jpg)
However, my little coal plant also earns me a new friend. Susana de la Concha comes complaining that the environment is horrible and demands me to do something about it. I look out of the window and agree with her. There is indeed something missing.
http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/3365/63963170.jpg
(http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/3365/63963170.jpg)
Yes, we definitely need more statues of me around here. Thanks for the heads up, Susana.
http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/6876/71317614.jpg
(http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/6876/71317614.jpg)
This nonsense again?! I thought it was just a joke for the first time. Sigh. Fine, we'll have your funny little election game. I'm not really sure what those shiny graphs on the right mean, but they can't be too important. Now back to the important business...
http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/2235/44633374.jpg
Namely booze. My fine booze factory has made some very tasty rum from the sugar I told my people to grow...
http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/8881/25320678.jpg
(http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/8881/25320678.jpg)
But for some reason those dumb stuff carrying people who always complain about their low wages have brought the boxes to completely wrong address!! And they wonder why I don't appreciate their work. Now I have to come up with a master plan to bring the rum to the correct place.
http://img542.imageshack.us/img542/2509/60839753.jpg
(http://img542.imageshack.us/img542/2509/60839753.jpg)
Hey! What are you doing with my booze?!
http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/3638/33842683.jpg
(http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/3638/33842683.jpg)
No, not there! No! Bad dockworker person, no! NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!
http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/4115/28792114.jpg
(http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/4115/28792114.jpg)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! !!!!!!!!
You idiots! You imbeciles! You traitors! Enemies of the people!! I would imprison you if I could afford a prison! I will...I will...I...I...
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/1300/55701701.jpg
(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/1300/55701701.jpg)
...Ooo, money...Okay, I'll imprison you once I have spent this money on the booze you just sold away. Off you go.
Hottentot
11-30-10, 09:11 AM
http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/329/14013934.jpg
(http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/329/14013934.jpg)
Unfortunately my drinking is disturbed again as the elections come. Again I asked some people to play my opponents, but apparently I overdid it a little. This is actually serious. The people could vote wrong!
http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/2972/93968490.jpg
Well, they don't know what is the best for them anyway. So I help them a little...
http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/7011/70023640.jpg
(http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/7011/70023640.jpg)
Better.
http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/456/95662663.jpg
(http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/456/95662663.jpg)
But of course I get yet another complaint. Sheesh, it's just a game, don't take it so seriously. Why is it anyway that everytime people come to me, they complain? Chill! Drink booze or something. And what is this "liberty" you speak of?
http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/509/39636798.jpg
(http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/509/39636798.jpg)
However, I realize that not everyone has yet understood how amazing I am. Therefore I make a camp for the people who like me, so we can all hang around happily. I call it "I have a big gun and you don't" policy. It's very simple, really. I am still very benevolent person to my people. To prove that, I also build some nice houses to my generals, because they are really awesome supporters of me.
http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/3049/47544614.jpg
(http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/3049/47544614.jpg)
See? Really nice. The name is ironic. I have a great sense of humor, you know.
http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/5051/53431935.jpg
(http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/5051/53431935.jpg)
According to the red graph, my election winning party wasn't as awesome as last time. Well duh! How can I throw a party, when my dumb workers carry all the booze to those capitalist ships?
http://img574.imageshack.us/img574/8805/39096850.jpg
(http://img574.imageshack.us/img574/8805/39096850.jpg)
OK, enough chit-chat. Time to put my greatest and latest invention, the electricity to use. This big building is what I call a "TV-Station".
http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/3266/24703976.jpg
(http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/3266/24703976.jpg)
As you can see, I make personally sure people get what they pay for.
http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/1568/60013262.jpg
(http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/1568/60013262.jpg)
Meanwhile on the international front: our war against the monkeys is going well. The little buggers have mostly fortified into the eastern part of the island. But the ultimate victory shall be ours!
The first 20 glorious years with me as your El Presidente have been very...glorious. I wish to thank me, myself and I for being such a great support and overall good chaps to rule the island with. The future shall be bright and bring us many great things, especially with this electricity thingy.
Hottentot
12-01-10, 08:06 AM
PART 4: MONKEYS (AND THEIR ALLIES) STRIKE BACK
http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/9256/61062794.jpg
(http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/9256/61062794.jpg)
My next term starts with fundies complaining. Sheesh, this "anti-religion" rhetoric again. I already gave you a playground! Aren't you supposed to support ascetism and silence or something?!
http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/5486/80165268.jpg
(http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/5486/80165268.jpg)
And then the World Bank threatens that I can't pay my workers enough anymore, because I'm broke. Garbage. First of all, just because Tropico's balance is currently $-10,000 isn't a reason to say that I can't handle our economy. Second: if I paid that kind of sums to any of my workers, I would actually be broke. Pfft, what a waste of my precious drinking time.
However, it occurs to me that my idiot workers still can't do what I tell them in time. They complain that they have to eat, sleep. Nonsense, but they are stubborn. As the economy keeps getting into worse and worse shape, I understand that my Swiss bank account isn't growing either.
Situations like this call for dramatic moves. We may be forced to rely on the last straw. We may need to...
http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/46/10659113.jpg
(http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/46/10659113.jpg)
...Sigh. Sell some of our booze.
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/231/17402578.jpg
(http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/231/17402578.jpg)
Why am I not happy?
http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/3946/68754825.jpg
(http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/3946/68754825.jpg)
Apparently, as the World Bank leaves me around, the monkeys strike again. They have created some evil weapon of mass destruction with which they intend to terrorize the free citizens of Tropico. Where is James Bond when you need him?!
http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/7167/38715272.jpg
(http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/7167/38715272.jpg)
We take cover as Monkeystan's secret weapon strikes.
http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/4867/41007013.jpg
(http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/4867/41007013.jpg)
Finally their machine runs out of batteries. Time to see what malicious damage their evil doomsday weapon did to us.
http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/1745/96933944.jpg
(http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/1745/96933944.jpg)
MY PUBS! MY STATUES!
http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/4694/73003939.jpg
(http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/4694/73003939.jpg)
MY SUGAR FARMS!!
http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/4418/27806657.jpg
(http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/4418/27806657.jpg)
MY ANTIMONKEYFORTIFICATIONS!!!
http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/3134/95564401.jpg
MY ELECTRICITYTHINGYPLACE!!!!
Have they...have they...
http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/1505/91438067.jpg
(http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/1505/91438067.jpg)
...Whew. Life continues as per usual. The nice International Community also donated me $20,000 to repair the island. I can't be bothered to count how much booze that buys, but it should be enough to keep me stocked for at least the next five days. Happy times!!
http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/7362/53795237.jpg
(http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/7362/53795237.jpg)
Oh, right, the people suffered too, I guess. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have given some of them guns.
http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/369/52440980.jpg
Fortunately I am also an international action hero. Armed only with my trusty butter knife and great looks, I made them ashamed of their own lack of masculinity and they just went back home. Huzaa! Señoritas and booze for me!
http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/4461/28452091.jpg
(http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/4461/28452091.jpg)
Of course, duty calls first. I order three farms to get our economy back running again.
http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/7442/37224424.jpg
(http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/7442/37224424.jpg)
It didn't work as well as I expected, however.
Hottentot
12-01-10, 08:09 AM
http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/3125/25717790.jpg
(http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/3125/25717790.jpg)
On domestic front, people who don't like me complain because I recently gave that nice camp to the people who like me. So I appease them by building them their own. It has everything. A room with a bunk bed and a hole in the floor for everyone. The bars on the windows keep intruders out.
http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/550/22886880.jpg
(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/550/22886880.jpg)
What? This again? That does it, I've had enough. I have better things to do than play your silly election game. You support me anyway. Bad people! No elections for you!
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/5704/18592847.jpg
(http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/5704/18592847.jpg)
I'm not sure what those big words in the end of this report mean, but I'm happy that they won't complain anymore. Maybe now I can concentrate on being El Presidente instead of babysitter.
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/373/48239589.jpg
(http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/373/48239589.jpg)
And as El Presidente I must first solve why our balance stays negative. Minus $17,868 is a lot. I like the $17,820 on my personal account much more and I want more. But I can't have that if I can't first start wasting the government's money on something. And that's difficult, since we don't even have any.
What exactly is wrong?
http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/6112/65599062.jpg
(http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/6112/65599062.jpg)
Free health care?
http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/7728/93420678.jpg
(http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/7728/93420678.jpg)
Free high school?!
http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/8448/83447360.jpg
(http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/8448/83447360.jpg)
No El Presidente Donations in church??!!
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/5716/51465716.jpg
(http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/5716/51465716.jpg)
FREE COLLEGE EDUCATION??!!
http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/6528/81346014.jpg
(http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/6528/81346014.jpg)
People with guns don't pay me but I have to pay them?!
http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/6002/80058584.jpg
And the people who don't like me don't pay me either, when I accommodate them in those five star rooms of the happycamp I build just for them?
WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?! WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE THINK PLACE IS? A COMMUNIST UTOPIA??!!
What...?
http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6820/100pk.jpg
(http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6820/100pk.jpg)
IT'S JUST A LABEL! IT SOUNDED CATCHY BACK THEN!!
http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/3251/101m.jpg
(http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/3251/101m.jpg)
Well, at least I'm still popular. Sort of...
http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/972/102pmc.jpg
(http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/972/102pmc.jpg)
The bloody monkeys have found more batteries to their hurricane machine. Take cover!
http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/4424/103jgi.jpg
(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/4424/103jgi.jpg)
Wow, at least they really put on a show this time.
http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/1511/104hm.jpg
(http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/1511/104hm.jpg)
Under the cover of the storm, some people have allied themselves with the monkey overlords and launched a cowardly surprise attack. Where the heck did they get guns from?
http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/2981/105ay.jpg
However, the monkeys didn't manage to destroy us this time either. Their cowardly allies also scarpered back into the woods and my great economic masterplan is starting to show its greatness. Life is still good.
http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/6561/106hb.jpg
(http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/6561/106hb.jpg)
The first 30 years are now over. Our glorious homeland is...uh...glorious. It's just temporary. You'll see. Now that our economy is back on its feet, we shall really get this island running. I shall do something widely popular with our new money.
This is a fantastic read. :up:
Hottentot
12-01-10, 11:28 AM
Thanks for the feedback again :). Anyone else reading this is welcome to chime in too. The reign of Pepe Manuel is ending soon and I'd be very interested in knowing if I should make another one of these before moving on to something else. With different kind of character and style of course, but unfortunately Tropico can be somewhat limited. There is still tourism as a source of income, which I have intentionally left out of this AAR, so I'd have material for a sequel. Any votes?
Meanwhile somewhere in the Caribbean...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
PART 5: LAWS AND CRIMINALS
This place is a miserable anarchy. I start my next term by making some new laws.
http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/6972/107xz.jpg
(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/6972/107xz.jpg)
First of all: since people who don't like me have somehow managed to get guns, I decide to give people who like me bigger guns.
http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/1659/108sx.jpg
(http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/1659/108sx.jpg)
Second: I make liking me obligatory.
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/2728/109y0.jpg
(http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/2728/109y0.jpg)
Third: people should be able to read my genius writings, so I want them to learn reading.
http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/2164/110q0.jpg
(http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/2164/110q0.jpg)
And finally: I throw a huge party to celebrate me.
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/6803/111ho.jpg
(http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/6803/111ho.jpg)
Then back to work. I am informed that by spicing our rum with the intestines of our monkey foes, we can make it more appealing to the capitalists abroad as well as more tasty. Great! I like it! The soldiers will have much better motivation for fighting our enemies, if I promise them a taste of it.
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/5418/112mre.jpg
(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/5418/112mre.jpg)
Speaking of monkeys, they spoiled my previous plan of electrifying Tropico. Time to correct this.
http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/7462/113xv.jpg
(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/7462/113xv.jpg)
Of course, the cowardly allies of the monkeys come out of forests again, shrieking battlecries against pollution and what not. These enemies of progress shall be crushed!
http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/3641/114fv.jpg
(http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/3641/114fv.jpg)
Ha! The tree huggers failed again! The electicity is working and we have just constructed our firts movie theater to celebrate it! I am personally asked to decide what we shall play in there...
http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/7968/115wx.jpg
What a dumb question. Next.
http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/5480/116bz.jpg
(http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/5480/116bz.jpg)
The power of electricity is also being used in Tropico's official radio station. And again I'm bothered, because people want to know what we shall play in there.
http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/9210/117r.jpg
(http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/9210/117r.jpg)
Problem solved. Solving problems is my job as El Presidente after all.
http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/6383/118wu.jpg
(http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/6383/118wu.jpg)
Victory! I am proud to announce that after years of fighting, our war against evil Monkeystan has been successful! Where are your coconuts now, huh? Huh?!
http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/1022/119zb.jpg
(http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/1022/119zb.jpg)
The people, however, still haven't changed. They have that time of the year again. Why should I hold elections? I'm popular and you love me! I just wrote it in the law, for booze's sake! I'll prove it! I go outside and ask people what they think of me and life in general!
Hottentot
12-01-10, 11:31 AM
http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/5289/120g0.jpg
(http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/5289/120g0.jpg)
http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/7141/121ry.jpg
http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/5052/122ao.jpg
http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/1238/55090249.jpg
http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/5988/124fq.jpg
(http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/5988/124fq.jpg)
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/5853/125do.jpg
(http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/5853/125do.jpg)
http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/5616/126wr.jpg
(http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/5616/126wr.jpg)
See? Happy people! I don't see where the supposed problem is.
http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/6373/127v0.jpg
(http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/6373/127v0.jpg)
And another complaint?! What do you mean you don't have housing? I planned it myself, of course you do. Sheesh, I even build five of them for you, so you would have plenty of room. If the 235 of you can't get along well enough to fit in them, then it's hardly my problem!
That's it! That officially does it! I'm done with these complaining, unhappy people! They obviously don't like me, which, according to the laws of Tropico, makes them criminals. We can't have criminals in Tropico. No sir!
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/3959/128dx.jpg
(http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/3959/128dx.jpg)
Here is the culprit, Franco Cairo. I have just been informed that he has been stealing from El Presidente's Official Booze Room in the booze factory. Damn communist must think it's some common property or something!
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/7080/129go.jpg
(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/7080/129go.jpg)
Happy Camp time for you!
http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6066/130ep.jpg
(http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6066/130ep.jpg)
I knew I kept those funny shouting people in blue suits and batons around for something.
http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/2708/131zn.jpg
(http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/2708/131zn.jpg)
Welcome to the Happy Camp. I don't really know what I should do with these people, so I make them produce license plates. I haven't invented a car yet, but maybe one day these will be worth something.
http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/2092/132hu.jpg
Aha! Another traitor! An agent of the tree hugging monkeys has revealed herself!
http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/1677/13301.jpg
(http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/1677/13301.jpg)
Make room in the Happy Camp, Cairo!
http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/6788/134d0.jpg
(http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/6788/134d0.jpg)
After 40 glorious, radiant years our happy land of Tropico looks like this. People are officially content with me. However I realize that I may need to retire soon. I have had all too little time for booze and señoritas lately and it's getting on my nerves. Oh well. Another ten years still, at least...
Great read!Brings back some memories :D
Hottentot
12-02-10, 02:58 AM
PART 6: EL GRANDE FINALE.
Sigh. Another term, another complaint. OK, what is it this time?
http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/9351/135c0.jpg
(http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/9351/135c0.jpg)
What? Cairo? But I just sent you to The Happy Camp. What do I pay those lazy guar...uh, happiness attendands for?!
http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/2127/136vu.jpg
(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/2127/136vu.jpg)
Oh wait, nevermind, don't execute them after all. It appears this is different Cairo. Bah, whatever, they all look the same. Send him to Happy Camp.
I believe I said "Send him to Happy Camp"!
http://img571.imageshack.us/img571/2756/170m.jpg
(http://img571.imageshack.us/img571/2756/170m.jpg)
What do you mean "we can't afford it"?!
http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/8179/137q0.jpg
(http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/8179/137q0.jpg)
Screw your economic theories! I'm El Presidente! I simply make new laws to counter your silly books. And by the law it is now obligatory for the people to start selling their furniture and donating the money to El Presidente's Happy Camp fund.
http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/8871/138m.jpg
(http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/8871/138m.jpg)
Not surprisingly the monkeys see this as an opportunity to undermine the unity of Tropico's happy people with their hurricane machine.
Fabian? They call their storm "Fabian" now? Clearly they are getting desperate.
http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/7908/140z.jpg
(http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/7908/140z.jpg)
Ha, missed me! Now where was I?
http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/1593/141cz.jpg
(http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/1593/141cz.jpg)
Oh, right. My new law turns out to be a great success and soon Mr. Cairo has been safely accommodated in the Happy Camp. But I can't keep doing this all the time. First of all, my Happy Camp can only hold so many applicants in there and I can't afford another. Second, I have just been informed that the rooms in Happy Camp are rented to the applicants only for seven years, after which they will be kicked out. I can't have those Cairos running around and breeding like rabbits, so I need something more permanent.
http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/6623/142ej.jpg
(http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/6623/142ej.jpg)
An inner tube and vague directions should do the trick.
http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/3601/143vqf.jpg
(http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/3601/143vqf.jpg)
However, the American ambassador is now mad at me. He hands me an official report and threatens me with human rights, UN, Amnesty and all sorts of other tree hugging hippy organisations. I didn't really bother to read it.
http://img690.imageshack.us/img690/8400/144bz.jpg
(http://img690.imageshack.us/img690/8400/144bz.jpg)
Bah, what do I care about the Yanquis anyway? I ask this from my friend Igor, the Russian ambassador. We discuss the matter and after a bottle of vodka it turns out the answer is: nothing at all.
http://img574.imageshack.us/img574/2940/145l.jpg
(http://img574.imageshack.us/img574/2940/145l.jpg)
Apparently someone has leaked the American ambassador's report to the people. Buggers haven't yet understood that when it says "my version of democracy", it means something far more advanced than that silly system where a village idiot's opinion is as valid as mine. Stupid American. I should sue him for lying to my people.
http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/3830/146lr.jpg
(http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/3830/146lr.jpg)
Okay, back to the real politics. I get a report that the people who like me have recently had some sort of argument. Apparently they disagreed about who of them resembled me most and decided to solve their problem with violence. Poor guys. If I had been there, they would have understood that obviously it was a futile argument, as they simply can't be as handsome as I am.
http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/2132/147w0.jpg
(http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/2132/147w0.jpg)
Well duh! Is it my fault that they keep killing each other all the time because of some silly argument? Stop complaining and draft us some new grunts.
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/3262/148l0.jpg
(http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/3262/148l0.jpg)
Ooo, retirement is so close already! Okay. Now think, Pepe Manuel. You want to leave your name in history. You owe it to the coming generations. Now think. What should you do next. What is Tropico's biggest problem that you should solve before retiring?
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/4620/149na.jpg
Aha! Of course! Housing! People are still living in cardboard boxes! What a disgrace! We can't stand this a minute longer! We must do something for this area!
http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/3047/150op.jpg
Ah, much better. Now move those cardboard boxes out of the way!
http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/1692/151nna.jpg
(http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/1692/151nna.jpg)
What do I care? You just said they are weak.
http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/8462/152012.jpg
(http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/8462/152012.jpg)
Bah, nevermind. Build more statues. I can't stay in history properly, if I don't make enough of them.
Hottentot
12-02-10, 03:02 AM
http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/301/153k.jpg
(http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/301/153k.jpg)
Oooooooo, running out of time! Think, Pepe Manuel, think!! What ELSE can you do to solve Tropico's problems?! What should you do??!! Think of the revolution! Think of the fancy speeches! Think of the values you promised to uphold as El Presidente...
http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/5359/171d0.jpg
Hmm, let's see. "To each according to his needs". OK, let's start with me. I need more money.
http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/3638/154nc.jpg
(http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/3638/154nc.jpg)
You people pay too little rent. I shall start correcting Tropico's problems by doing something to that.
http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/9849/155yd.jpg
(http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/9849/155yd.jpg)
Much better.
Okay. Next chapter. Hmm: "revolution, equality, blah blah blah..."
http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/8763/156i0.jpg
(http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/8763/156i0.jpg)
College educated people earn too much. It isn't fair for the farmers and factory workers. This burgeois policy must not continue a minute longer! The people demand it!
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/6782/157m0.jpg
(http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/6782/157m0.jpg)
Better.
http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/5893/158p.jpg
(http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/5893/158p.jpg)
The factory workers earn too much too! It isn't fair to the farmers and college educated people I just made earn much less.
http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/8946/159k0.jpg
(http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/8946/159k0.jpg)
Better.
http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/9722/160lq.jpg
(http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/9722/160lq.jpg)
Hmm...
http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/5448/161fl.jpg
(http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/5448/161fl.jpg)
Much better!
http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/218/162xf.jpg
(http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/218/162xf.jpg)
It worked! It worked! The Utopia is reality! I promised you happiness and I have delivered! All hail me! The people are extatic! They start running around the streets shouting joyously!
http://img809.imageshack.us/img809/3714/163w0.jpg
Look, they are all participating! Such a moving event! I think I'll open a bottle of my finest rum to celebrate with them!
http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/1443/164g0.jpg
Uh, why are they coming towards my house? And why are they burning flags?
http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/8146/165vc.jpg
Ooo, I got it! It's almost the end of the years! This must be my farewell party and the flag burning is obvious celebration, because we have achieved a communist ideal where a nation ceases to exist! I did it! I'm the best! I'm the bestest best! Eat your heart out, Lenin! (*hic*)
http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/2925/166ia.jpg
(*hic*) wow, this rum is great. I think (*hic*) that some of my peop(*hic*)peopl(*hic*)people must have also taken some because they have fallen a (*hic*) sleep while partying.
(*hic*) now I'm going to do something awesome (*hic*). Something that the people will remember me by when I'm (*hic*) gone.
Let me (*hic*) think (*hic*).
Okay...okay...(*hic*)
http://img841.imageshack.us/img841/6961/167yp.jpg
OK GUYS (*hic*) SERIOUSLY, I GOT IT! A NEW LAW!! (*hic*)
http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/4749/168ga.jpg
Oh well (*hic*). All the good things come to an end. I think I will (*hic*) go out and (*hic*) greet the people before I (*hic*) leave Tropico. I'm too drunk to read reports now.
http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/9161/169zv.jpg
Aww, look at them cheer at me (*hic*). I LOVE YOU TOO (*hic*). YES, I KNOW I'M (*hic*) AWESOME!! HEY?! WHAT ARE YOU (*hic*) DOING WITH THOSE (*hic*) ROCKS. HEY!! STOP!! OUCH, THAT HURTS (*hic*). STOP! STOP I SAY!!
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/7096/172gm.jpg
Man I love those Tropicans. Such thoughtful and nice people. After bursting into my house, they carried me to this fine rowboat they had made for me and told that another Caribbean island needs my awesomeness to one day become as marvelous as Tropico. Sigh. Terrific people! They could have let me pack my stuff, though. I left my liquor collection in my house. Oh well. Maybe those $30,000 in that briefcase will buy me something to drown my sorrow in.
Goodbye Tropico! I'll never forget you! And it was really nice of you to say that neither will you ever forget me!
:har::har: Priceless! :yeah:
:har::har::har: Fantastic, loved every update! :yeah:
Hottentot
12-02-10, 09:05 AM
Hmm, Tropico will have to wait for a while. I just went trough my collection and found a classic that simply screams "I have potential".
Coming soon to threads near you: FLASHPOINT!
Lionclaw
12-02-10, 12:29 PM
Keep it up! It was fun reading the AAR as it progressed. :yeah:
Hmm, Tropico will have to wait for a while. I just went trough my collection and found a classic that simply screams "I have potential".
Coming soon to threads near you: FLASHPOINT!
:rock:
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