Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked

[Onkel Neal]

Well, this blows my mind. (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conspiracy_theorist_convinces_neil)

Apollo 11 mission commander and famed astronaut Neil Armstrong shocked reporters at a press conference Monday, announcing he had been convinced that his historic first step on the moon was part of an elaborate hoax orchestrated by the United States government.
According to Armstrong, he was forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos, and reading several blog posts on conspiracy theorist Ralph Coleman's website, OmissionControl.org.

"It only took a few hastily written paragraphs published by this passionate denier of mankind's so-called 'greatest technological achievement' for me to realize I had been living a lie, " said a visibly emotional Armstrong, addressing reporters at his home. "It has become painfully clear to me that on July 20, 1969, the Lunar Module under the control of my crew did not in fact travel 250,000 miles over eight days, touch down on the moon, and perform various experiments, ushering in a new era for humanity. Instead, the entire thing was filmed on a soundstage, most likely in New Mexico."

"This is the only logical interpretation of the numerous inconsistencies in the grainy, 40-year-old footage," Armstrong added.

Although Armstrong said he "could have sworn" he felt the effects of zero gravity while soaring out of the Earth's atmosphere and through space, he now believed his memory must be flawed. He also admitted feeling "ashamed" that he had failed to notice the rippling of the American flag he and Buzz Aldrin planted on the surface, blaming his lack of awareness on the bulkiness of the spacesuit and his excitement about traveling to the "moon."

"That rippling is not possible in the vacuum of space," Armstrong said. "It must have been the wind from an air-conditioning duct that I didn't recognize because you can't hear a damn thing inside those helmets."

[Aramike]

Well, this blows my mind. (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conspiracy_theorist_convinces_neil):har:

Gotta love The Onion! Best parady news outlet ever...

[mapuc]

This Conspiracy Theorist, has seen The Capricon(don't know if I have spelled it right thou), one or two times to much.

Markus

[bookworm_020]

So when is NASA confirming that the moon is made of cheese???:hmmm:

[Task Force]

So when is NASA confirming that the moon is made of cheese???:hmmm:

No duah... the moons made of cheese...
http://rookery2.viary.com/storagev12/699000/699218_216d_625x1000.jpg

[Raptor1]

You fools, it's the opposite, cheese is made out of moonstuff!

[MothBalls]

Here's more proof.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8226075.stm

A treasured piece at the Dutch national museum - a supposed moon rock from the first manned lunar landing - is nothing more than petrified wood, curators say.

It was given to former Prime Minister Willem Drees during a goodwill tour by the three Apollo-11 astronauts shortly after their moon mission in 1969. Not sure which is worse, that they got duped or it took them 40 years to figure it out.:hmmm:





I'm really having a hard time deciding what to believe. I just saw shocking proof that Michael Jackson is alive, as well as Elvis, Abraham Lincoln and Jesus. Here's a link to the shocking video proof.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=27b_1251609827

It must be true, I saw it myself on the Internets.

[Aramike]

Here's more proof.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8226075.stm

Not sure which is worse, that they got duped or it took them 40 years to figure it out.:hmmm:





I'm really having a hard time deciding what to believe. I just saw shocking proof that Michael Jackson is alive, as well as Elvis, Abraham Lincoln and Jesus. Here's a link to the shocking video proof.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=27b_1251609827

It must be true, I saw it myself on the Internets.OK, for about two frightening seconds I thought you were serious... :o

[Skybird]

Now you know why I think beyond a certain age holders of driving licenses should undergo a yearly requalification test to prove they are still fit (like pilots must do, too), and voting rights should be suspended.

BTW I never was here, and this forum never existed. It's all a fake, and you all hallucinated when talking with me.

[MothBalls]

OK, for about two frightening seconds I thought you were serious... :o

Well..... the top part, about the moon rock being petrified wood, that is true. it's a BBC story. Search the web and you'll get tons of references, especially in the science sites.



The bottom half, I'm still skeptical. I can believe the MJ, Elvis, and Jesus got out of the van. I'm having a hard time with the concept of Abraham Lincoln being part of this. I read somewhere else on the internets that he actually did die and his still being here was an urban legend.

[MothBalls]

Now you know why I think beyond a certain age holders of driving licenses should undergo a yearly requalification test to prove they are still fit (like pilots must do, too), and voting rights should be suspended.I think they should do the same with marriage licenses as well. After three years it automatically expires unless you decide to renew it, and then only for one year at a time.

BTW I never was here, and this forum never existed. It's all a fake, and you all hallucinated when talking with me.I knew it. My pusher in the 70's told me that I'd never have flashbacks from shrooms. He lied.

[Raptor1]

I read somewhere else on the internets that he actually did die and his still being here was an urban legend.

Pfft, silly conspiracy theories, you shouldn't listen to anything you read on the internets!

I mean, we have absolute photographic proof, it must be true!

[razark]

One question I hear often is: "If the moon landings were faked, why haven't we been back since 1972, and why will it take until 2020 to go back?"


The problem is that soon after Apollo 17, the Lunar Module set was damaged by a falling crane, and we were never able to build it back to look convincing enough. We were able to fake the Skylab missions using the remaining capsule set, which we also used to fake the Apollo-Soyuz mission with the Soviets. Shortly after, we started work on another "spacecraft", known as the shuttle. Those models worked well for a while, but they're showing their age now and won't hold up much longer.

The original moon sets were damaged in a fire shortly before the Apollo 13 "landing", which is why we had to fake the whole explosion, accident thing. The sets were rebuilt, and we managed to get four more "missions" done.

Our Constellation program is going to be done with computer graphics from the beginning. This way, we don't have to worry about sets and models. The hardest part will be getting the footage of the space station model to match up with the CGI Orion capsule. That's part of the reason they announced that the station will be "deorbited" soon after the the first flight of Orion.

The reason it will take us until 2020 to get back to the "moon" is because camera technology has improved so much, and Hollywood special effects have gotten so good that we need time to get the details right or people will think it doesn't look "real". Also, the longer we stretch it out, the longer we get funding. It's a fine balance between pretending to spend enough that they keep giving us funds, and pretending to spend too much that we get cut.

We got the Soviets to go along with the whole thing by pulling out of the Vietnam War and letting them take over. We also told them they could have Afghanistan. Nixon had to erase the 18 minutes of the recording where he was discussing this, and the whole Watergate break-in was simply to distract people from the fact that there was something sinister going on. Later, the Soviets were making noises about revealing that it was all faked and planning to cut off the CIA's access to cheap heroin, which they were trading for cocaine in Columbia, to sell in the U.S., to raise money to support the mujahideen, so we started supplying the mujahideen to keep the Russians quiet. Christa McAuliffe managed to find out about a lot of the goings on, and was reluctant to take the bribes we offered to keep her quiet, so we stuck her into Challenger and actually launched her in it. To make sure she wouldn't talk, we then used the same type of invisible missile that took down TWA 800. Since then, we have been very careful to choose only loyal actors to play astronauts.

Even with the safeguards in place to choose loyal people, Ilan Ramon managed to get into the program. We discovered that he was one of those crazy communist Zionists working undercover for the Mossad. He had enough information to blow our cover wide open in retaliation for our support of Islamic mujahideen in Afghanistan against his true masters at the KGB. We made sure that Mossad got the message that we weren't to be messed with by destroying Columbia over Palestine, Texas. Of course, the invisible missile didn't have the ability to take down a shuttle at this altitude, so we had to use one of the new vehicles we built by reverse engineering the UFO from Roswell. The aliens were very helpful in teaching us to adapt the technology to our lesser earth materials.

Of course, it's a good thing the Illuminati killed Kennedy when they did, allowing the reptillian in disguise, Johnson, to take over. If JFK had stayed in power, he probably would have made us skip the whole conspiracy and actually land on the moon. As if something crazy like that would ever happen.


Dr. Razark
NASA, Johnson Space Center
:D

[AVGWarhawk]

It is a vast right wing conspiracy!!!!!!!!!!!

[sharkbit]

The moon landing was faked? :o

Great! Next thing you'll be telling me is that 9/11 was carried out by our own government!
Or that TWA 800 was brought down by the CIA.

:p2:



Sometimes I feel I should change my signature, but......naaaaah. :sunny:

[AVGWarhawk]

Great! Next thing you'll be telling me is that 9/11 was carried out by our own government!
Or that TWA 800 was brought down by the CIA.




Thats all true...I read it in the tabloids. ;)

[SteamWake]

Maybe he can go hang with the Japaneese first lady ! :rotfl:

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=155759

[Biggles]

So when is NASA confirming that the moon is made of cheese???:hmmm:

http://static.guim.co.uk/Guardian/media/gallery/2008/nov/18/wallace-and-gromit/GrandDayOutB-6966.jpg
This guy proved it, but it's still uncertain what kind....Limberger maybe?

[AVGWarhawk]

I have that movie Biggles. Well, my girls do. I watch it though. Wallace and Grommet are cool. In a cheesy short of way :D

[TDK1044]

I thought the Chinese called in their marker and we sold them the moon.

[Oberon]

Wait... :timeout:

Does this mean that HunterICX is from the moon? :hmmm:

[Raptor1]

Wait... :timeout:

Does this mean that HunterICX is from the moon? :hmmm:

No, the moon is from the same place as HunterICX.

[Biggles]

I have that movie Biggles. Well, my girls do. I watch it though. Wallace and Grommet are cool. In a cheesy short of way :D

Indeed they are! Interestingly enough, the swedish voices are just as good as the english ones, thus making it a great childhood memory of mine:yeah:

[Tchocky]

Holy ****


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8237558.stm

The Daily Manab Zamin said US astronaut Neil Armstrong had shocked a news conference by saying he now knew it had been an "elaborate hoax".
Neither they nor the New Nation, which later picked up the story, realised the Onion was not a genuine news site.
Both have now apologised to their readers for not checking the story.
"We thought it was true so we printed it without checking," associate editor Hasanuzzuman Khan told the AFP news agency.
"We didn't know the Onion was not a real news site."
The article said Mr Armstrong had told a news conference he had been "forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos and reading several blog posts" by a conspiracy theorist.

[Biggles]

Holy ****


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8237558.stm

Believing The Onion is a real newssource. Now that's a joke!:haha::haha:

[Oberon]

Oh Bangladesh :damn: :nope:

[Safe-Keeper]

I saw the thread title and thought "Onion", and sure enough...

Added Armstrong, "I suppose it really was one small step for man, one giant lie for mankind.":rotfl:

OK, for about two frightening seconds I thought you were serious... :oYou and me both :D .

As for Tchocky's post... happens all too often. Go to YouTube and watch some ONN videos - no matter how far-fetched they make them, some idiot will believe they're real. Most likely an idiot who laughs at the people who thought the radio broadcast of War of the Worlds was a real alien invasion.

I support Skybird's suggestion that everyone who wants to vote or support a political party or group should be made to watch an ONN broadcast, and disqualified if they do not recognize it as satire.