Seventy-eight things a woman can't do: (and counting)

[Jimbuna]

Seventy-eight things a woman can't do: (and counting) http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/6172/a1151bj2.gif

1. Know anything about a car except its colour
2. Understand a film plot
3. Go 24 hours without sending a text message
4. Lift
5. Throw
6. Run
7. Park
8. Fart
9. Read a map
10. Rob a bank
11. Resist Ikea
12. Sit still
13. Tell a joke
14. Play pool
15. Pay for dinner
16. Eat a kebab whilst walking
17. Pee out of a train window
18. Argue without shouting
19. Get told off without crying
20. Understand fruit machines
21. Walk past a shoe shop
22. Make a decent bacon sandwich
23. Not comment on strangers clothes
24. Use small amounts of toilet paper
25. Let you sleep with a hangover
26. Drink a pint gracefully
27. Get a round in
28. Throw a punch
29. Do magic
30. Like your friends
31. Enjoy porn
32. Eat a really hot curry
33. Get to the point
34. Buy plain envelopes
35. Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
36. Sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"
37. Go shopping without phoning 20 mates
38. Avoid credit card debt
39. Dive into a pool
40. Assemble furniture
41. Roll a bogey between finger and thumb
42. Set a video recorder
43. Not try and change you
44. Watch a war film
45. Understand why flirting results in violence
46. Spend a day by themselves
47. Go to the toilet by themselves
48. Buy a purse that fits in their pocket
49. Choose a video quickly
50. Conserve electricity, water or any other form of energy.
51. Admit they are wrong
52. Not try and undermine you
53. Let you make your own decisions
54. Agree with you
55. Use common sense
56. Make a major change to the world for the better with an invention
57. Construct a floor plan
58. Remember something that isn't for them
59. Win something
60. Walk out of a store with stuff they didn't plan to get before they walked in there
61. Get something done right the first time
62. Call anyone 'mate'
63. Stay In The Kitchen
64. Stay quiet for longer than 1 minute
65. Find Madeline McCann
66. Cook.
67. Stop making their husbands lives hell.
68. Get married and still give a blowjob.
69. Have their money ready before they get on the bus.
70. Clean out a tropical fish tank.
71. Get ready in the morning without making a racket.
72. Choose suitable footwear
73. Post lists and pretend they're jokes.
74. Compliment other women.
75. Find your mates are good company for you.
76. Take it up the arse without moaning about it beforehand
77. Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above.
78. Scratch their nuts whilst watching the telly.

[Letum]

:nope:

Does posting a list of ridiculous and damaging stereotypes and inviting others to laugh at them make you a man?

[SUBMAN1]

That was hilarious! Thanks man! :up:

-S

[SUBMAN1]

:nope:

Does posting a list of ridiculous and damaging stereotypes and inviting others to laugh at them make you a man?

Man, you need to lighten up. You are way too politically correct and that is what makes this world hell. Quit worrying about offending people because you are offending people by worrying so much about offending people. :D

-S

[Jimbuna]

:nope:

Does posting a list of ridiculous and damaging stereotypes and inviting others to laugh at them make you a man?

Actually it doesn't....but many other attributes and skills I have does.

If your offended at other peoples attempts at humour.....you have options:

Don't read it
Don't comment
Ignore it

Simple as.

[Letum]

Actually it doesn't....but many other attributes and skills I have does.

If your offended at other peoples attempts at humour.....you have options:

Don't read it
Don't comment
Ignore it
Damm right it doesn't. I bet you know what it does make you as well.

I'm not worried about offending; I am sickened by the attitude of some men towards
women and the way negative stereotyping of women has led them to become second
class citizens in way way that is only recently and slowly being reversed.

For hundreds of years it is something ignored and not commented on. It's a damm good
thing that times have changed.

[Blacklight]

I think that list is screwed up. Most of those things my wife CAN do and I can't ! :shifty:

[Rockstar]

Letum don't sit high and mighty defending womens rights in one forum. Yet have a good laugh when warlords are given a little blue pill so the can have intercourse with 11 year old little girls in another. So lighten up Francis this isn't nothing but words posted here.

Oh and by the way my wife saw these had a laugh and ummm go ahead and scratch number 8 off the list.

[SUBMAN1]

Damm right it doesn't. I bet you know what it does make you as well.

I'm not worried about offending; I am sickened by the attitude of some men towards
women and the way negative stereotyping of women has led them to become second
class citizens in way way that is only recently and slowly being reversed.

For hundreds of years it is something ignored and not commented on. It's a damm good
thing that times have changed.

They haven't changed. I see more lists about men, than about women.

Face it already - we are different in more ways than one. :D

-S

[Letum]

Letum you farkin' hypocrite. You sit high and mighty defending womens rights in one forum. Yet have a good laugh when warlords are given a little blue pill so the can have intercourse with 11 year old little girls in another.


Ref (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=1013897#post1013897)
...who said anything about 11 year old little girls and where?

[SUBMAN1]

Yeah, I don't get the 11 yr old thing either.

-S

[Letum]

Yeah, I don't get the 11 yr old thing either.

I'm guessing hes talking about the post I liked to above as thats about the wee blue
pills, but theres nothing about 11 year old girls in there. Not outside of Rockstar's mind
anyway.

[Rockstar]

Take a look at the avergage age of girls married in Afganistan, to the warlords given little blue pills. I think it's around 15 and even younger, little girls. You had a good laugh over that then come here and protest over mere words. When you get on the politically correct high horse atleast try to be consistent.

[Jimbuna]

Damm right it doesn't. I bet you know what it does make you as well.

I'm not worried about offending; I am sickened by the attitude of some men towards
women and the way negative stereotyping of women has led them to become second
class citizens in way way that is only recently and slowly being reversed.

For hundreds of years it is something ignored and not commented on. It's a damm good
thing that times have changed.

They haven't changed. I see more lists about men, than about women.

Face it already - we are different in more ways than one. :D

-S

You should see some of the lists at the local nick....put up by women who are actually very equal on quite a few counts.

The sort that are often quicker than you separating protaganists in a brawl and the sort you know will never shirk their responsibility or sense of concern for a colleagues wellbeing in tough/challenging situations.

I'll print this 'politically incorrect' list off and show it around on Tuesday.....I'm confident it will raise a laugh and probably earn me a good deal of retaliatory banter in return.

Political correctness.....certainly not very beneficial to that many when you look at the world events in recent times:hmm:

[Letum]

Yes, womens rights in Afghanistan are almost the worst in the world.
I haven't been laughing about how 57% of Afghan girls are married before the legal
marriage age of 16 or how in 2006 there where over 50 cases of wife-murder and over
500 cases of severe domestic violence.

Part of the reason for the problems women face in Afghanistan is because of the
stereotyping of women as weak, unintelligent, manipulative, financial drains, etc.

As for the warlords, for all you and I know they prefer donkeys.

[Captain Vlad]

I think that list is screwed up. Most of those things my wife CAN do and I can't ! :shifty:

Indeed.

[Frame57]

Funny Stuff Buna...keep em coming:rotfl:

[Koondawg]

I haven't been laughing about how 57% of Afghan girls are married before the legal marriage age of 16
Im not in Afghan...course I had to run out to the curb to read my address..

How else in that country would someone expect to marry a virgin...:D
Unless their bedding down with sheep


or how in 2006 there where over 50 cases of wife-murder and over 500 cases of severe domestic violence.

Call the police...

KD

Ps: nice list Jimbo...

[Letum]

or how in 2006 there where over 50 cases of wife-murder and over 500 cases of severe domestic violence.
Call the police...

RIS?

[Wolfehunter]

Actually it doesn't....but many other attributes and skills I have does.

If your offended at other peoples attempts at humour.....you have options:

Don't read it
Don't comment
Ignore it
Damm right it doesn't. I bet you know what it does make you as well.

I'm not worried about offending; I am sickened by the attitude of some men towards
women and the way negative stereotyping of women has led them to become second
class citizens in way way that is only recently and slowly being reversed.

For hundreds of years it is something ignored and not commented on. It's a damm good
thing that times have changed.Letum that's a load of horse feminist crap.

My wife and I have enjoyed it and compared it to our experiences. We found it very entertaining. My wife gives it just as good as I do. In the end of the day we still love each other and laugh at it. I hate politically correctness. Nor will I ever support it or act on it.

If you want true freedom then everyone has to be able to take the heat. People have to lighten up...

Great one jim. Some are cheesy but still funny. :up:

[JU_88]

Lighten, up will YA.

Like many, I work in an office where Women send emails like the above - (but ripping the sh*t out of men) ALL THE TIME
Below is an example copy and pasted from my mailbox,
please read it and tell me that you are still offended by Jimbunas Joke... YES that right.... 'JOKE!'



The Why's of Men


1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)
-----------------------------------------------
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)

-----------------------------------------------



3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?


(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

-----------------------------------------------

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
-----------------------------------------------


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?


(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)


----------------------------------------------

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

-----------------------------------------------

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)
-----------------------------------------------


( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)



-----------------------------------------------


And the personal favorite:


8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)


-----------------------------------------------
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face andlaughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart!

-----------------------------------------------

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'

And they say blondes are dumb...

---------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-----------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
----------------------------------------------

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
----------------------------------------------
-
Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
----------------------------------------------

Send this to at least five bright,funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five bright men whohave enough sense of humor to take it!




So when men rip on women, it sexist? but when women rip on men its just funny?
IMHO it depends on the context, but things like the above and what Jimbuna posted are perfectly harmless.
'equal rights' applies to men too in this particular case!

So Chill.

[Jimbuna]

Here's one more.

I'll drop the gender bit for those of political correctness persuasion and introduce a profession....my own in fact, can't be much fairer than that. http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/wolfcop.gif

Sooooo.....for those still left with a sense of humour this festive period:

10 Husbands And Still a Virgin

A copper married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a copper. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

[Kpt. Lehmann]

Actually it doesn't....but many other attributes and skills I have does.

If your offended at other peoples attempts at humour.....you have options:

Don't read it
Don't comment
Ignore it
Damm right it doesn't. I bet you know what it does make you as well.

I'm not worried about offending; I am sickened by the attitude of some men towards
women and the way negative stereotyping of women has led them to become second
class citizens in way way that is only recently and slowly being reversed.

For hundreds of years it is something ignored and not commented on. It's a damm good
thing that times have changed.Letum that's a load of horse feminist crap.

My wife and I have enjoyed it and compared it to our experiences. We found it very entertaining. My wife gives it just as good as I do. In the end of the day we still love each other and laugh at it. I hate politically correctness. Nor will I ever support it or act on it.

If you want true freedom then everyone has to be able to take the heat. People have to lighten up...

Great one jim. Some are cheesy but still funny. :up:

Well, I'm beginning to wonder if Letum is a female forum member as it is given his/her seemingly permenant case of PMS. Letum is quite happy to police other members at random in various forums here whether it concerns him/her or not.

Or maybe its just constipation. I dunno.

I do know, that when you are no longer able to laugh at the human condition... life becomes very miserable indeed.

Letum. Eat lots of bran and lighten up!

[Kpt. Lehmann]

Ha ha, what a cheap shot ;)

That wasn't my intention.

Was trying to make my point in a humorous way.

That's all. :yep:

[Wolfehunter]

JU 88 those where a blast. :rock:

But my wife herd about half of them...

#4 was my favorite one. :up:

[Onkel Neal]

I think that list is screwed up. Most of those things my wife CAN do and I can't ! :shifty:

I hope #78 isn't one of them :rotfl: