Night Vision (Balz)

[Brag]

Night Vision

Lt. Kalb writes:
18 September 1940
U-123

Our first patrol out of Lorient started off well. We had a good transit to the Gulf of Cadiz and the weather held while we were on station. For a week we stalked a number of ships and sank them with the deck gun. It looked like we would get record-breaking tonnage.

Nearing noon Balz was holding choir practice, swinging his head and letting the bunny ears of his tea cozy flap to the rhythm of his new march, the Einz Zwei Hoochie-woochie.

"Ship sighted," the yell came from the bridge.
A few minutes later, we were at periscope depth. Balz looked at Bernard. "Since we have only one shell left what does your great military mind tells what should we do?"
Bernard scratched his head and closed his eyes as if concentrating. He lifted his finger and announced, "We practice the one ship one shell, technique."
"Brilliant." Balz removed the tea cozy from his head and whacked, Bernard with it. "Up periscope."

Balz peered into the scope, did a 360 degree sweep. He frowned, looked at his watch, and did another sweep. "Navigator, what time is it?"
"Eleven fifty three, Herr Kaleun."
Balz looked puzzled. "You mean eleven , not twenty three hundred, right?"
"Jawhol, Herr Kaleun, approaching noon."
"Then why in the devil I can' t see a thing?"
"Oh, that's my patented new dust-cover," Bernard said. He reached over and removed electrical tape from the periscope eyepiece."
"You nitwit," Balz growled. He peered into the scope again. "I still can't see a thing."
"That's because the outside lens is taped also," Bernard replied.
"Why …would you…do something …like that?" Balz asked while his face turned the color of blood.
"To protect your night vision, Herr Kaleun."

[meduza]

:rotfl:

[headcase]

Will BdU court-martial Balz for Bernard's Murder, or give him another medal for ridding the KM of a blithering idiot?

[KeptinCranky]

:lol:........ :up:

I lol'd very funny stuff.... :rotfl:

[Laufen zum Ziel]

:rotfl: Bernard now bunks in the stern tube I assume?

[bookworm_020]

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Nearly cracked a rib after reading it!:up:

[coronas]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
It's hard to be an hero with Bernard by your side.

[Jimbuna]

hehe :lol:

[U-104]

:rotfl:

[mcf1]

:rotfl: :rotfl:
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Nearly cracked a rib after reading it!:up:
My cracked ones started hurting again after I read it

[Uncle Goose]

Goth, that really cracked me up, this one is the best so far:up:

[onelifecrisis]

That was a good one, thanks for the :lol:

[Brag]

Glad you guys liked it :D there's more underway.

Meanwhile, you can order Kingmaker. Though it's suspense, it does have some funny bits.

[Jimbuna]

Glad you guys liked it :D there's more underway.

Meanwhile, you can order Kingmaker. Though it's suspense, it does have some funny bits.

I hope your bringing a few signed copies to the SS Meet :hmm:

[Brag]

Unfortunatelly, I won't be able to make the meeting :cry:

[Jimbuna]

Unfortunatelly, I won't be able to make the meeting :cry:

That's a bugga.....I thought you were nearly a definite :-?

[Brag]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:

[Jimbuna]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:

Saved me a few drinks....but I wish the opposite were the case :-?

[Bosje]

as always, you chuckle me good

[Brag]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:

Saved me a few drinks....but I wish the opposite were the case :-?

Maybe, next year. Chalk 5 drinks per day to my account. :yep:

[Sailor Steve]

Maybe, next year.
But the last one was four years ago. That's why I can't miss this one.

[Jimbuna]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:

Saved me a few drinks....but I wish the opposite were the case :-?

Maybe, next year. Chalk 5 drinks per day to my account. :yep:

Rgr that mate....Copenhagen 2009 http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/thumbsup.gif

Bring some wooly knickers http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/7975/gigglebigtb9fg3.gif

[NealT]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:
Saved me a few drinks....but I wish the opposite were the case :-?
Maybe, next year. Chalk 5 drinks per day to my account. :yep:
Rgr that mate....Copenhagen 2009 http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/thumbsup.gif

Bring some wooly knickers http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/7975/gigglebigtb9fg3.gif

If the great Brag isn't going to go, then perhaps we should go to him?

[Jimbuna]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:
Saved me a few drinks....but I wish the opposite were the case :-?
Maybe, next year. Chalk 5 drinks per day to my account. :yep:
Rgr that mate....Copenhagen 2009 http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/thumbsup.gif

Bring some wooly knickers http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/7975/gigglebigtb9fg3.gif

If the great Brag isn't going to go, then perhaps we should go to him?

Are you coming to this years Meet :hmm:

[Brag]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:
Saved me a few drinks....but I wish the opposite were the case :-?
Maybe, next year. Chalk 5 drinks per day to my account. :yep:
Rgr that mate....Copenhagen 2009 http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/thumbsup.gif

Bring some wooly knickers http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/7975/gigglebigtb9fg3.gif

If the great Brag isn't going to go, then perhaps we should go to him?

Hey, that's an idea. It would be great to see some of you guys :yep:

[Jimbuna]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:
Saved me a few drinks....but I wish the opposite were the case :-?
Maybe, next year. Chalk 5 drinks per day to my account. :yep:
Rgr that mate....Copenhagen 2009 http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/thumbsup.gif

Bring some wooly knickers http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/7975/gigglebigtb9fg3.gif

If the great Brag isn't going to go, then perhaps we should go to him?

Hey, that's an idea. It would be great to see some of you guys :yep:

Where's your current place of abode.....not Outer Mongolia I trust :hmm:

[Brag]

Big buggah, I was really hoping I could make it. :down:
Saved me a few drinks....but I wish the opposite were the case :-?
Maybe, next year. Chalk 5 drinks per day to my account. :yep:
Rgr that mate....Copenhagen 2009 http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/thumbsup.gif

Bring some wooly knickers http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/7975/gigglebigtb9fg3.gif

If the great Brag isn't going to go, then perhaps we should go to him?

Hey, that's an idea. It would be great to see some of you guys :yep:

Where's your current place of abode.....not Outer Mongolia I trust :hmm:

I'm just outside Washington DC. A sort of outer Mongolia. ;)
If anyone is in the area on 18 October, I'm having a book signing in Silver Spring.

[sunvalleyslim]

Herr Balz, Do not, I repeat, do not let Bernard near that new fangled tape. I believe its called Duct Tape, grey in color. He will be using it on everything........Watch out!!!!