Quotes

[Jimbuna]

Jump down the guy's throat now. You can always apologize later.
-seems to be my motto these days.

I've used the ':rotfl: ' so much I must have the skinniest 'A' in town.

NOT!

There you go beating yourself up again when there is absolutely no need. Here, let me give you a hand.

--Jimbuna :rotfl:

[StdDev]

http://www.kaijuhq.org/crow2.gif

I want to decide who lives and who dies

Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000

[AVGWarhawk]

My favorite bumper sticker quote

"Support Lap Dancing.".

[Jimbuna]

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.

-- Helen Rowland

[Platapus]

My favorite bumper sticker quote

"Support Lap Dancing.".

One of my favourite bumper stickers read' Humpty was pushed

[StdDev]

My favorite bumper sticker quote

"Support Lap Dancing.".

One of my favourite bumper stickers read' Humpty was pushed

I used to have a bumper sticker that said:

Support Mental Health
or I'll Kill you

[rifleman13]

If you can read this, I could hit my brakes and sue you!
- from a prestigious university here at home

[Task Force]

Sh** happens.

Mamma always said life is like a box of choclate, you never know what your going to get.

and from the movie Grumpy old men...
Chucks about to take the skin boat to tuna town.:rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

One of my favourite bumper stickers read: "Also available in white"

[Biggles]

-So, you think you could out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters.

-No chance, English bedwetting types. I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing. You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!

-Yes, depart a lot at this time, and cut the approaching any more or we fire arrows into the tops of your heads and make castanets of your testicles already.

-And now remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! And, if you think you got a nasty time this taunting this time, you endured nothing yet, dappy english k...niggets, pfffffrffff!!

[Jimbuna]

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

--Will Rogers

[Sailor Steve]

I think, therefore I win.
-Doctor Who

[rifleman13]

Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up?
- Danny Butterman, from the film Hot Fuzz

=====
To all subsim members: Seriously, Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up? Thanks for the answer!:up:

[Raptor1]

To all subsim members: Seriously, Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up? Thanks for the answer!:up:

Shure, lemme get my Panzerschreck and I'll show ya :up:

[Jimbuna]

Man has will, but woman has her way.

--Oliver Wendell Holmes

[mcf1]

Brain: an apparatus with which we think, we think
-Ambrose Bierce


Originally Posted by rifleman13
To all subsim members: Seriously, Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up? Thanks for the answer!:up:


I read about it somewhere and according to that. There is a small bump at the back of the head, right at the bottom of the skull (there where the neck begins), this bump acts as a pin and holds the head together and if you hit it real hard, for some unexplained reason the head will blow up.

[AVGWarhawk]

My favorite bumper sticker quote

"Support Lap Dancing.".
One of my favourite bumper stickers read' Humpty was pushed

Humpty was pushed!

[Jimbuna]

Who killed Noddy ?

Big Ears!

[Arclight]

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
- Rodney Dangerfield

“I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.”
- Voltaire

“All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning.”
- Albert Camus

[Jimbuna]

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

--Henry Youngman

[Platapus]

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

--Henry Youngman

The classics never go out of style. :up:

Micro nit to pick

He went by the name Henny Youngman even though his legal name was Henry. Henry Youngman was a Major League Baseball player who played for the Pittsburgh Alleghenys

[Platapus]

My wife like to talk dirty to me during sex.

Last night she called me from a hotel room.

<rimshot and bow to Mr. Dangerfield>

[Jimbuna]

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

--Henry Youngman

The classics never go out of style. :up:

Micro nit to pick

He went by the name Henny Youngman even though his legal name was Henry. Henry Youngman was a Major League Baseball player who played for the Pittsburgh Alleghenys

Rgr that....TBH I've never heard of him :doh:

:lol:

[Sailor Steve]

Henny Youngman became legendary because of one line. But first a little setup. The phrase "Take this..." commonly means to set an example. "Dogs are funny. Take mine, for instance..."

Comics in that day were fond of using the line "Women are funny. Take my wife: just the other day she was saying..." well, you get the rest, and the setup probably wasn't necessary - the saying is famous.

But can you imagine what it must have been like the very first time Henny Youngman said "Take my wife...PLEASE!"

[Jimbuna]

It depends on how good looking she, was I suppose. :lol:

[Platapus]

But can you imagine what it must have been like the very first time Henny Youngman said "Take my wife...PLEASE!"


According to Wikipedia, which may or may not be accurate: "Henny explained the origin of his classic line "Take my wife, please" as a misinterpretation: in the mid-1930s he took his wife to a show and asked the usher to escort his wife to a seat. But his request was taken as a joke, and Youngman used the line countless times ever after."

Whether this is true or not, it is a funny story.

[Raptor1]

"Another such victory would utterly undo us" (Not sure how it went exactly)

- Guess?, it's too easy

[Jimbuna]

Did anyone else hear that loud bang ?

--The Mayor of Hiroshima

[Platapus]

"Another such victory would utterly undo us" (Not sure how it went exactly)

- Guess?, it's too easy

Pyrrhus of Epirus and is the basis for the term Pyrrhic Victory.

The exact phrase is difficult to verify as the story of Pyrrhus was described by a Roman historian named Dionysius. After Dionysius's death a Greek historian named Plutarch wrote about what Dionysius wrote about Pyrrhus.

Since Dionysius was not alive during Pyrrhus's life and since Plutarch was not alive when Dionysius was alive, what we have is the ancient version of "hey I read it on the internet".

What may have eventually been recorded as "one more such victory would utterly undo me", may have been originally said as "Did you see those big Roman Mother-f**kers, they kicked our asses!"

Such is a common problem with recording ancient history. :know:

[Platapus]

Did anyone else feel a bump?

Captain Edward Smith,
Commanding RMS Titanic.

[Raptor1]

Does anyone smell barbecue?

- Max Pruss

[Platapus]

Does anyone smell barbecue?

- Max Pruss

Ok you had me on that one. Had to look it up.

+1 for obscure trivia. :up:

Perhaps a better quote for Captian Pruss would be

"No! I said Bud light"

(if anyone remembers those commercials)

[rifleman13]

Admit nothing, deny everything, launch counterattack.
- Roger Stone

I never knew who said this line until I looked it up...
The first two statements are the words I live by everyday... :lol: :arrgh!:

[Jimbuna]

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you?

-- Jimbuna

[Arclight]

"Respect my authoritah!"
- :roll:

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."
- Hunter S. Thompson

[Jimbuna]

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

-- Ogden Nash

[Jimbuna]

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

-- Jimbuna (Office remarks).

[Arclight]

Differences between you and your boss:

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

-----

"Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden."
- Orson Scott Card

[SUBMAN1]

Differences between you and your boss:

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

-----

"Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden."
- Orson Scott CardHow true these all are! :up:

-S

[Jimbuna]

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.

[Sailor Steve]

Arclight, that 'Boss' list reminds me of my stepmother. When I was young, it was:

If I didn't hear her, I needed to clean out my ears (or pay attention).
If she didn't hear me, I needed to stop mumbling.

[AVGWarhawk]

Differences between you and your boss:

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

He is playing golf.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

He is playing golf.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

He is playing golf
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

He is playing golf.
When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

He is playing golf.
When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

He is playing golf.
When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

He is playing golf and does not have a boss to please.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

NO, he is playing golf and will tell me he is.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

Well, no. Stress free living and playing golf keeps him from sickness.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Never, he always offers a day off for a mental break. Full pay!


'I have a very cool boss'. That is my quote for the quote thread. He plays a lot of golf and takes care of me and my family like we were one of his own. I could not order up a better boss if I tried.

[Arclight]

Glad to hear it, not everyone can say the same. :roll:

(sorry, nothing personal, can't help to poke a bit of fun ;) )

"If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom."
- on flattery, from despair.com (http://www.despair.com/)

...that 'Boss' list reminds me of my stepmother.
:rotfl: True. I guess it applies to any situation where you have a "superior". If you're a kid, it applies to your parents/step-parents, if you're an employee it (generally) applies to your boss , etc. But it's all ment in good fun, of course. :D

[Jimbuna]

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

--George W. Bush

[Arclight]

:rotfl:

"I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any time!"
~ Author Unknown

"Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?"
~ Author Unknown

"Reality bites... and doesn't let go."
~ Author Unknown

[Marriott]

i didnt read all the posts, so hopefully this hasn't been said before.

"It's only impossible until its possible" - my old army sargeant. He said that at least once every half hour.

[Jimbuna]

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

-- Dave Allen

[rifleman13]

"Veni, Vidi, Dormivi" (I came, I saw, I slept)
- from latinsayings.info

[Platapus]

A representative of the people, owes the people not only his industry but his judgement. He betrays them if he sacrifices either to their opinion -- Edmund Burke

[Jimbuna]

Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.

-- Jim Murray

[Sailor Steve]

"Show me a hero and I'll show you a bum."
-Gregory 'Pappy' Boyington

[Jimbuna]

[Tony Blair] is like an actor who doesn't really believe in his script himself but has the incredible skill to make everyone else believe in it.

-- Tom Conti

[Stealth Hunter]

'It is Senain. He received three bullets in the head, which exploded like rotten fruit; brains and blood trickle on the face and clothes. The helmet moves on nothing more than a broken skull.'


Another time he recovered the body of a Farman crewman, who had fallen to his death from his airplane:


'The second fell on the roof of the house. I clearly heard the dull sound of the body when it was crushed. Flouc!
. . .
The body was recovered from the roof, entirely broken, shattered, and shapeless and without rigidity like a heap of nothing more than ooze.'

[Jimbuna]

I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.


-- jimbuna

[Sailor Steve]

Cord: "Talking to you is like talking to a wall!"
Master: "Buddha once sat before a wall. When he arose, he was enlightened."
Cord: "Oh, so you compare yourself to Buddha, now?"
Master: "No, only to the wall."
-Circle of Iron (aka The Silent Flute)

[rifleman13]

When I was reading on some references to Psalm 23, I came across this:

This work is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.
- from Wikipedia

Well, it was much earlier than a 100 years! :lol:

[Jimbuna]

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

--Jimbuna

[Platapus]

A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, and dangerous and you know it.

Men in Black

[Jimbuna]

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Any resemblance between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

--Jimbuna (office remarks)

[Arclight]

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
- Fran Lebowitz

[STEED]

Blow up dolls are for life not for when the wife tells you shes got a headache. :rotfl:

[Arclight]

A Subsim a day keeps the boredom away.

. _ . . = . . . = . _ . .

SH4;
- A diamond in the rough.

SH4 modding;
- A job worth doing is worth doing well.
- A labor of love.
- A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
- A man's got to do what a man's got to do.

ROW PE / Environmental;
- A picture is worth a thousand words.
- A thing of beauty is a joy forever.


I was bored, can you tell? :-?


Oh, right:

"What's wrong with being a boring kind of guy?"
- George Bush

"All kinds are good except the kind that bores you."
- Voltaire

"When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored." :hmm:
- Eric Hoffer


The Subsim fora: A family is a place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday Subsimming.

One big, helpful family. Hurrah for Subsim!


I'll go shoot myself now. :oops:

. . . = _ _ _ = . . .

:dead:

[Jimbuna]

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

--Jimbuna (office remarks)

[Arclight]

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."
- Isaac Asimov

[Jimbuna]

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

[Arclight]

Given enough time and money, eventually Microsoft will re-invent UNIX.

Windows 2000: Designed for the Internet. The Internet: Designed for UNIX.

Unix: Where /sbin/init is still Job 1.


Geeks aren't interested in politics because government doesn't double its efficiency and speed once every 18 months.