29 reasons why skippering a fleet boat...

[LukeFF]

I found this list somewhere a while ago on the Internet (sorry, I don't recall the source). Anyways, without futher ado:

Eighteen reasons why skippering a fleet boat, is better then skippering a Uboat:

1. Your control room doesn't double as a pantry.

2. Your crewman spend their free time playing pinocle and cribbage instead of picking their nose, flicking boogers, and complaining about sweaty feet and hair grease.

3. A battery recharge doesn't rob you of half your surface propulsion.

4. Your faster than a Uboat, both while on the surface, and while submerged.

5. Your admiral never held the title of "Führer", no matter how temporary the appointment was.

6. Your radar is actually useful, and you get it earlier then uboats.

7. You can use radar while submerged.

8. Your lookouts are higher up off the surface of the water, allowing them to see farther then they could from just the conning tower bridge.

9. Your AA gun arrangment doesn't leave a huge blind spot in the front of the boat.

10. You have greater or equal firepower to any uboat class, in just your bow alone.

11. You don't have to store torpedo's externally in order to carry a sufficient payload to your patrol area.

12. You never have to park your boat in a bomb shelter while in port.

13. For Rest and recreation you get sun tanned island girls in Hawaii instead of overused french prostitutes that have rouge plastered onto their faces like stucco.

14. Your crew jerry rigged an ice cream machine on board.

15. You don't share your cabin with members of the crew.

16. The flag under which your sailing isn't associated with things like racial bigotry, death camps, the SS, or the Gestapo.

17. You actually win the war instead of lose it.

18. Your boat is so well designed and built, it stays in service well into the cold war.

19. Your TDC is much more advanced than the U-Boat's

20. Three knots at silent running instead of one.

21. A complex and effective ballast system that means "all hands forward" is a commond not heard on a fleet boat.

22. Your crew is much better protected during heavy seas in the fleet boat conning tower.

23. Four diesels instead of two gives you more redundancy to get you home safely.

24. Welded, not riveted, construction makes the boat more resistant to depth charge attacks.

25. The crew is taken care of better because of decent food and air conditioning, making a significant difference in combat readiness.

26. Your boat has a name. It is special. You are NOT expendable. U-Boats had numbers. So you got sunk? NEXT!!! Number 567, you're up!

27. If you play your cards right you just might get a flying fish dinner after a night patrolling the surface.

28. The food is actually refrigerated so eating molding bread and other staples is not the norm as found on Uboats.

29. There is more then one head in case any of the crews boilers start acting up and in a state of emergency!
:yep: :p

[Captain Vlad]

13. For Rest and recreation you get sun tanned island girls in Hawaii instead of overused french prostitutes that have rouge plastered onto their faces like stucco.

:arrgh!::rock:

[joegrundman]

here we go again:roll:

how did you get from 18 to 29 anyway?

[Dowly]

how did you get from 18 to 29 anyway?

He's on the 2nd grade now, they start learning the 2 digit numbers there. :rotfl:

[joegrundman]

He also forgot the exceedingly important point 30

you only have to deal with 3rd rate japanese ASW instead of British and American ASW

and point 31

your opponent has a gdp of 1/10 yours and so cannot hope to rebuild losses, whereas their opponent has a combined gdp about 6x greater and no matter what the u-boats do, it makes no difference

[TheBlobThing]

:smug:

[Bosje]

1 reason to skipper a u-boot:

1) when you fire a torpedo at a ship, provided that you aim is decent, you have a good chance it will explode

[LukeFF]

He also forgot the exceedingly important point 30

you only have to deal with 3rd rate japanese ASW instead of British and American ASW
http://www.ussubvetsofworldwarii.org/RememberIndex.html

Oh yes, quite third rate! Those Japanese couldn't drop a depth charge if their life depended on it!

and

1 reason to skipper a u-boot:

1) when you fire a torpedo at a ship, provided that you aim is decent, you have a good chance it will explode
Gunther Prien might object to that statement. (Cough) "Dummy Rifle" quote (/cough)

[danlisa]

I found this list somewhere a while ago on the Internet (sorry, I don't recall the source).
I remember who the source was, I also remember the others that were adding to it.

FYI, when you copy & paste from one forum to another it's best to check what you're posting.

Eighteen reasons why skippering a fleet boat, is better then skippering a Uboat:
Except your 'randomly found list from the internet' runs from 1 - 29. Nice.

Keep them coming, I'm sure it's working.:up:

[Rockin Robbins]

I'm sure a corresponding list could be made for skippering a u-boat. Let's see:

1. The Kriegmarine, where growing a beard is an art form! Our appearance alone is enough to sink ships. Arrrrrrrrr! American wimps!

2. Togetherness: tightly integrated doesn't even begin to describe 46 men in a little Type VII.

3. Lots of enemy to fight. We don't have to deadhead 3000 miles and then come up empty.

4. Can you say 20 knot acoustic homing torpedo?

5. Ziz-zag and ladder pattern anti-convoy and anti-escort torpedoes.

6. On a U-Boat, we don't waste time estimating AoB by eye. Somebody fill in the blank for the device in the OLC GUI.

Hey, I can't do ALL your work for you. Get to work on your own list. A list of fleet boat characteristics doesn't have to be threatening, although if the Germans had a fleet of fleet boats instead of Type VII's they would have been better served. But they could not have known that at the beginning of the war or they would have produced more Type IX's. Just thought of another one.

7. You don't have to worry about what you're going to do after the war.

8. When you sink an enemy warship or infiltrate Scapa Flow you are a hero of the fatherland, known the world over.

Look! I can't count to two. That must discredit my entire post if we follow earlier attempted reasoning. U-Boat guys: it's a GAME. You're supposed to have FUN. Sheesh!

[Kapitan_Phillips]

2 reasons why skippering both Fleet Boats and U-Boats isnt as great as it seems:

1) Wives
2) Girlfriends

[John Channing]

One reason why people should keep things in perspective.


1) They're games.





JCC

[Alex]

2) The war is over. :p :88)



Alex

[Jimbuna]

One reason why people should keep things in perspective.


1) They're games.





JCC

Precisely :yep:

Looks like more movement in the peanut gallery again.

http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/6942/popcorncowtx0.gif

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/subsimfools.gif

[Mush Martin]

One reason why people should keep things in perspective.


1) They're games.





JCC

:rotfl:

[Rockin Robbins]

Hey, I'm the author of a few of the fleet boat and now the entire u-boat list! I like both boats. But that doesn't mean that there aren't advantages and disadvantages of both. I haven't heard one person talk about Donitz' tenure as Fuhrer and how he discharged that responsibility. He focused exclusively at bringing the war to a close as soon as possible, with the fewest number of German casualties. He was NOT a Nazi.

All I see from the U-Boat crowd is grousing, not participating in something that should be fun and informative. Accusing Luke of being counting challenged is not a substitute for successfully advocating your favorite boat. Get to it! I gave you a decent start, which I give you license to edit as you please.

Or you can continue to confuse a light-hearted advocacy of fleet boats as an attack on your manhood. They say you can always tell a German, but you can't tell him much. Don't identify with your favorite boat to the extent that you exemplify this "only accurate enough to be funny" characature of the German mindset.

[AVGWarhawk]

My addition are #27,#28 and #29. I thought them quite clever:D Back to reality and reality check....enter John Channing and I quote....."It is a game"

[Mikhayl]

One reason why sailing a u-boot is better than sex :

-you can do it with 50 stinky and sweaty men without anybody looking at you funny :|\\

[AVGWarhawk]

One reason why sailing a u-boot is better than sex :

-you can do it with 50 stinky and sweaty men without anybody looking at you funny :|\\

Oh my, the imagery here....:o. I believe I will skip this movie:rotfl:

[Mikhayl]

One reason why sailing a u-boot is better than sex :

-you can do it with 50 stinky and sweaty men without anybody looking at you funny :|\\
Oh my, the imagery here....:o. I believe I will skip this movie:rotfl:

Oh come on, don't tell me you would skip that scene when a dozen of half naked sweaty men grease some big torpedoes ? :D

[AVGWarhawk]

One reason why sailing a u-boot is better than sex :

-you can do it with 50 stinky and sweaty men without anybody looking at you funny :|\\
Oh my, the imagery here....:o. I believe I will skip this movie:rotfl:
Oh come on, don't tell me you would skip that scene when a dozen of half naked sweaty men grease some big torpedoes ? :D


Got a good chuckle out of this one:rotfl: Again with the imagery:o

[danlisa]

All I see from the U-Boat crowd is grousing, not participating in something that should be fun and informative. Accusing Luke of being counting challenged is not a substitute for successfully advocating your favorite boat.

Or you can continue to confuse a light-hearted advocacy of fleet boats as an attack on your manhood.
I'll take the bait because that's what it is.

Nobody called LukeFF numerically challenged.

What I am accusing him of is baiting.

You, LukeFF & I know (as do others) where this list originated from, who was involved in it's creation and the subsequent comments about said list. His statement of not knowing where it came from is a blatant lie and then his continuing post is nothing more than his usual caliber of post. The nature of this thread was summed up in post #3.

Quite frankly RR, you can pad your argument out as much as you like and try to convince people that this was meant in jest but it doesn't wash anymore, especially if (as I have) you have seen & read the original thread. Further & similar comments on other topics, are public record for all to see and I grow tired of seeing the two faced posting nature of many members here (I don't single you out in this statement, there are many others).

If people don't have the balls to truthfully post their thoughts and continue attempting to play on both sides of the fence, they shouldn't speak up. That, if I may mention him here without malice, is something I admire about Ducimus. He has the stones to post truthfully, I may not like everything he posts but I appreciate people who are honest.

Your attempt to convince me that this was posted by LukeFF as a legitimate discussion topic and to try to pass this off as humorous is an affront to my and others intelligence.

[Der Kolkrabe]

Oh come on, don't tell me you would skip that scene when a dozen of half naked sweaty men grease some big torpedoes ? :D

If Sigmund Freund still lives, what he thinking about it:hmm:

:huh:

:roll:

[joegrundman]

Oh yes, quite third rate! Those Japanese couldn't drop a depth charge if their life depended on it!


This is to argue the impossible.

Of course the Japanese could drop DCs, and they sank, what, 25% of the submarine fleet, which as a percentage of losses in any allied arm is matched only by British bomber crews i think.

But, you know, when you think about it, that the Japanese despite trying hard later in the war, simply did not have the resources and technology to provide the total, all-encompassing, relentless ASW campaign that the british and Americans put up together in the Atlantic front. It's not because they were incompetent. it's because the resources and technology were just not there. And the losses to the U-boats reflects this.

And if the British and Americans occupy the top two slots, then the japanese were at teh very best third rate.

Tell me..let's say your primary aim was to come home and live to see your kids grow up. Which ASW campaign would you have rather faced in the submarine of your choice?

They say you can always tell a German, but you can't tell him much.

What's this meant to be RR? Is it in some way relevant?

[Bosje]

next patrol, I'm bringing a cork for my sterntube

[Schroeder]

O.K. I'll take the bait (even though I'm not an expert and maybe I'm talking bs here).

9. If your country is low on "war important materials" it is much better to ride a lot of small type VIIs than just a handful of fleetboats. (We were always low on resources like steel)

10. The U-Boat can run with a smaller crew (so you don't have to write so many letters to the familys after your sub got sunk with you as the only survivor in front of your monitor;))

11. A U-Boat's silhouette is more difficult to spot because of the smaller conning tower and the smaller overall body.

12. The U-Boat can go deeper.

13. The "all hands forward" command will ensure that your crew stays physically fit.:cool:

So that's it for me (as I said I'm no expert and a lot of that stuff is based on what I've heard from someone who has heard that....).

What wonders me is that fleetboats were going three knots at silent running. Were they as quiet as the Germans running one knot? If not then I wouldn't call that an advantage.:hmm:

To Lukes 18th point.
U 2540 (NATO code Y 880) a type XXI served until 1968 and was later used as testsubmarine until 1982.;)
(Unfortunately these sites are in German but I bet you can find some English pages about that too)
http://www.janmaat.de/m_wbauer.htm

U 995 (type VIIc/41) was used by the Norwegian navy until 1962 (decommissioned in 1965)
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/U_995

And now the experts can tear me apart:p.

[Kapitan_Phillips]

http://img128.imageshack.us/img128/2562/51659584je1.jpg


:hmm::hmm::hmm:



:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Raptor1]

To Lukes 18th point.
U 2540 (NATO code Y 880) a type XXI served until 1968 and was later used as testsubmarine until 1982.;)
(Unfortunately these sites are in German but I bet you can find some English pages about that too)
http://www.janmaat.de/m_wbauer.htm

...

And now the experts can tear me apart:p.
U-2540 was scuttled, raised in 1957 (I think) and used as the research submarine Wilhelm Bauer, Never as a combat vessel (And was subsequently decomissioned in 1980 and turned into a museum in 1983 (With the originial WWII configuration))

[Dowly]

Your attempt to convince me that this was posted by LukeFF as a legitimate discussion topic and to try to pass this off as humorous is an affront to my and others intelligence.

Ditto. Good grief if some uboat-guy starts a topic even hinting that uboats are better than fleet boats, he'd have half the fleet boat guys on his throat, no matter how he'd say. LukeFF being one of them I'm sure.

Havent we already seen how threads like this will end? :roll:

[AVGWarhawk]

Havent we already seen how threads like this will end? :roll:

I'm excited to see how this thread will end. :D

[MonTana_Prussian]

AVG: It's been quite entertaining so far:D

[Mikhayl]

@K_P, that is just not fair ! :rotfl:
Just a bit of topic relevant stuff, post war I think that france used some type VIIC that were left in the former u-boot bases. I do remember reading a bit about some of these boats being used up until the '50s, maybe even later ?

[Schroeder]

U-2540 was scuttled, raised in 1957 (I think) and used as the research submarine Wilhelm Bauer, Never as a combat vessel (And was subsequently decomissioned in 1980 and turned into a museum in 1983 (With the originial WWII configuration))

Research submarine... that was the term I was looking for when I wrote "testsubmarine".

The site claims it was decommissioned from official navy duty in 1968 but kept operating with a civil crew until 1982.

But you are right, it wasn't used as a combat vessel but this doesn't mean that it couldn't have handled the job. If a upgraded WWII fleetboat could do the job I don't see any reason why a upgraded type XXI shouldn't be up to it.

[Jimbuna]

Havent we already seen how threads like this will end? :roll:

I'm excited to see how this thread will end. :D

Me too....It is however quite interesting to note that danlisa has not received any response from either RR or LukeFF. In fact, they haven't posted since that same post from danlisa.

Did someone once allude to 'commando raids' some time ago ? http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/1817/thinkbigsw1yo4.gif

[Rockin Robbins]

One reason why sailing a u-boot is better than sex :

-you can do it with 50 stinky and sweaty men without anybody looking at you funny :|\\
Oh my, the imagery here....:o. I believe I will skip this movie:rotfl:
Oh come on, don't tell me you would skip that scene when a dozen of half naked sweaty men grease some big torpedoes ? :D :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Mikhayl, you are priceless! Thanks for a great response.

Shroeder thanks for more items. You're up to 13. I'm no U-Boat fanatic, but I could think up more. Regardless of the motives of some posters, the thread does not need to descend into cute animated GIF's making personal attacks. If you can't defend your favorite boat in a civil, humorous and constructive manner such as AVG, Mikhayl and Shroeder have demonstrated, at least have the tolerance to let the rest of us have fun with it. The original thread in the other forum seems to be gone, but I can assure you that it was in a humorous vein, not a hateful one. Enough of that--->

U-Boat #14. Scapa Flow, baby! Greatest submarine raid in history! Up their nose with a rubber hose!

Oops, I think we have to count Mikhayl's as number 14. That's 15!:up:

[AVGWarhawk]

Havent we already seen how threads like this will end? :roll:
I'm excited to see how this thread will end. :D
Me too....It is however quite interesting to note that danlisa has not received any response from either RR or LukeFF. In fact, they haven't posted since that same post from danlisa.

Did someone once allude to 'commando raids' some time ago ? http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/1817/thinkbigsw1yo4.gif
Different time zones. Working hours. Things of that nature. Yes, "commando raids". I'm glad to see you took notes. Do recall, both sides guilty as charged.

[Jimbuna]

Havent we already seen how threads like this will end? :roll:
I'm excited to see how this thread will end. :D
Me too....It is however quite interesting to note that danlisa has not received any response from either RR or LukeFF. In fact, they haven't posted since that same post from danlisa.

Did someone once allude to 'commando raids' some time ago ? http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/1817/thinkbigsw1yo4.gif
Different time zones. Working hours. Things of that nature. Yes, "commando raids". I'm glad to see you took notes. Do recall, both sides guilty as charged.

No notes, never need them.....just a good memory.

Still a firm believer in what a PM contains, stays that way. http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/4030/winkbigid2zj6.gif

[AVGWarhawk]

I find this interesting. The forums have been a bit quiet the past two weeks. :hmm: I guess it is time for all to stretch their legs and beat the keyboards into submission:smug:

[Jimbuna]

http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/9517/smashedcomputerqd0hy3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Dowly]

http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/9517/smashedcomputerqd0hy3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

ROFL! What a surprise, it's a Finn's doing. :rotfl:

[Thunder]

Ahh, my old pc.Good times.:rotfl:

[Ducimus]

http://meltaylor.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/train-wreck-1.jpg

For the record, i advised against posting this. Infact, my exact words were "Oh god no. Im not that stupid! The uboat fanboys will come out of the woodworks (aka, most of subsim)"

I guess folks were bored and needed friday afternoon Piñata to beat on. :roll: One of these days other pacific fans will finally realize there is very little room for vocalizing any subject not pro uboat on subsim.com.

[TheSatyr]

Doenitz not a Nazi? Here we go with the revisionist history crap again. When Hitler made Doenitz his sucessor that also made Doenitz the defacto head of the Nazi party. Do you honestly believe Hitler would have done that if Doenitz wasn't a loyal party member? It's not like Doenitz was the only choice...he was just one of the few left that never "backstabbed" Hitler. (Doenitz was always "the good little soldier" and yes,Doenitz did have a Nazi Party ID card...which makes him a Nazi as far as I'm concerned).

[Dowly]

Doenitz not a Nazi? Here we go with the revisionist history crap again. When Hitler made Doenitz his sucessor that also made Doenitz the defacto head of the Nazi party. Do you honestly believe Hitler would have done that if Doenitz wasn't a loyal party member? It's not like Doenitz was the only choice...he was just one of the few left that never "backstabbed" Hitler. (Doenitz was always "the good little soldier" and yes,Doenitz did have a Nazi Party ID card...which makes him a Nazi as far as I'm concerned).

Just to add my view on the 'Nazi-issue'; IMO, calling all Nazi's bad guys, is like calling all the black ppl criminals (Not meant as a racist remark, but shows like COPS surely like to show blacks being the ones committing most of the crimes, which leads to generalisation). And just to avoid further issues, @TheSatyr, I know you didnt say all Nazis = bad.

I personally hold Doenitz in very high position, Nazi or not.

[Rockin Robbins]

The keyboard pic is Ducimus-like response to be sure! Although he is partial to the Captain Piccard face in palm pic. I will show mercy and not reproduce it here.

A good Nazi. Hmmmmmm. I'd love to see an example of that one. I guess if you want to call Doenitz (OK, I'll spell his name right if you insist!:lol:) a Nazi, he might qualify, as his only function was to roll the party up and dispose of it. He may have had the title, but he never functioned as a man motivated by the values, philosophy and methodology of the Nazi party. At best he coexisted with them as part of the price of defending the fatherland. Goering, a true believer in the Nazi party, wouldn't give Doenitz the time of day. He didn't consider Doenitz a Nazi. Neither do I. Never thought I'd ever find myself in agreement with Goering.

[Dowly]

One of these days other pacific fans will finally realize there is very little room for vocalizing any subject not pro uboat on subsim.com.

-"Mulder? Hey, it's Dowly. I have something for the X-Files. No, not UFO related, but paranoia. Tomorrow? Sure, that's fine. Ok, see you then! Oh.. Scully coming too? Yes? Excellent!"

[Jimbuna]

ROFL! What a surprise, it's a Finn's doing. :rotfl:

Would you have preferred I chose a different nationality http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/whistle.gif

[Dowly]

ROFL! What a surprise, it's a Finn's doing. :rotfl:
Would you have preferred I chose a different nationality http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/whistle.gif

No, not really. Fits in with the WC hockey going on, I bet if we go into the finals and lose, there's going to be ALOT of telly's and PC's whacked. :rotfl:

[DavyJonesFootlocker]

I don't need no long list to think it's better. They're the BAD GUYS period! That's good enough for me. Besides Marlene Dietrich looks hotter on an allied poster than a goose-stepping Donald Duck Stormtrooper poster.:yep: Donitz was a Nazi and was convicted as one too. Good riddance!

[AVGWarhawk]

Gosh, I just love the turns these type threads make. :D Looking forward to more. :up:

[John Channing]

Well.. I can tell you there are a lot of drunken Finns stumbling around the streets of my city these days.

JCC

[JU_88]

WOW A Fleet subs vs U-boats thread... How original!!! :o
I prefer Royal navy subs to both - so to hell with you all!
:arrgh!: :arrgh!:

[AVGWarhawk]

Although I was looking forward to a new ending for threads such as this, it seems the stories like this always have the same ending. I have to comment, some new pictures from everyones photobucket collection look mighty good. I'm sure we will see these pictures again in the furture theads such as this. As always, thanks for dropping by and see you on the forums.

:up: