Letter to BDU (not a poll)

[Brag]

J.S. Balz writes:

Lorient, 15 May 1941

After the respectul request to have an adequately grandiose reception at the docks for the return of the supreme hero that I am. Upon my docking in Lorient it was the same old band, dock idlers and tired nurses from the night shift who met my boat. May I respectfully suggest a modest choir of about a 100 voices be assembled for my next victrious arrival and to supplement the band with more musicians. Handel's Mesiah would be an appropiate piece to perform when I step ashore.

I also respectfully request a type IXC boat. My stinking, puke infested U-53 is not an adequate boat to travel to New York where I want my choir to perform on Broadway. This would be a good will tour to impress the Americans. After they get to know me and my fame extends into their vast hinterland, I'm sure they will be happy to change the name of that island on the Hudson river to Balzhattan. It would be nice to have a U-Boat base there. Sailing from New York it will be easy to interdict convoys originating in Canada.

Tomorrow I'm driving to Brest and see why the American consulate has not yet approved my visa.

Respectfully submitted,
Kptlt. J.S. Balz (The Magnificent).

P.S. When are you promoting me to Kk? It is about time, I'm famous, a Kaleun of great renown. And I'm great. :smug:

[papa_smurf]

To: J.S. Balz
From: BDu


Where the hell have you been? We've been trying to contact you for the last few weeks, and thought you'd been sunk.
Im sorry to report that no, repeat NO IXC boat are available at the moment, but we will have some IXC/40 boats soon, and you will be first to get one when available.

Keep up the good work!
(As for promoting you, were working on it)

[Spruence M]

To: U-53
From: U-8



"Otto Nürenberg, my radio operator, intercepted your transmission to BdU. I've taken a "poll" amoung the crew, and they all seem to think if you were such a great kaluen, that BdU would be begging you to take a typ IX. Till we meet at the bar."

Heinz Pieper

[The Munster]

To: U-53
From: U-8



"Otto Nürenberg, my radio operator, intercepted your transmission to BdU. I've taken a "poll" amoung the crew, and they all seem to think if you were such a great kaluen, that BdU would be begging you to take a typ IX. Till we meet at the bar."

Heinz Pieper

What, another poll ? [groan]
:rotfl:

[Brag]

Thank you, Smurf & Pieper
So good of you to write to the Kriegsmarine's greatest. When I spoke to the Fuhrer, he said the polls indicated 99% aproval ratings on his foreign policy. Germany is obviosly not perfect, he said. Polish Polls indicate 100% approval of the German occupation. But the Polish polls been polished by the Gestapo.

Inspired, I have written another song: Polish the Polish Polls so that Poll land may Flourish, You Hoochie Woochie.

Greetings from the insuperable, :smug:

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz (The Magnificent).

[Brag]

anti poll bump