Things that make you go Ahhh **** - Page 11

VONHARRIS · 01-22-11, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gargamel

Ouch. But what was BDU thinking sending a II to the atlantic side of the Isles? North atlantic ok, bu the SW side? I would have encountered engine trouble shortly after leaving port, not sure how that wrench ended up in there.

Never!! Always obey the orders given!

Besides , you never know who is amongst your crew.

Weiss Pinguin · 01-22-11, 08:42 PM

I remember one time when I picked off all the escorts for a convoy, and was on my third attack. Daytime, on the surface, running behind the convoy using the deck. Just finished off another ship when
CTD

Fader_Berg · 01-23-11, 04:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gargamel

Ouch. But what was BDU thinking sending a II to the atlantic side of the Isles? North atlantic ok, bu the SW side? I would have encountered engine trouble shortly after leaving port, not sure how that wrench ended up in there.

AM97, maybe it can be considered west of britain. Well, Type II rocks and I guess BDU knows it.

the.terrabyte.pirate · 01-27-11, 06:50 AM

Third Patrol out of Lorient. Type IID (Slow and short range). First two were to patrol around the AM grid. They were pleasant cruises, and I ran out of eels both times before reaching my assigned grid. Short and sweet.

Patrol 3, assigned to DT 59. DT 59!!!!!? WTF is that? Oh, right in the middle of the Atlantic! About 50,000 miles away! A type IID is a COASTAL boat dammit. What are they doing sending me all the way out there? It'll take me 12.5 days just to get there. There's nothing out there but water!

If I have enough fuel after my 24 hour patrol I'll swing past Gibralter... if the crew haven't died of old age by then.

BDU must hate me!

VONHARRIS · 01-27-11, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the.terrabyte.pirate

Third Patrol out of Lorient. Type IID (Slow and short range). First two were to patrol around the AM grid. They were pleasant cruises, and I ran out of eels both times before reaching my assigned grid. Short and sweet.

Patrol 3, assigned to DT 59. DT 59!!!!!? WTF is that? Oh, right in the middle of the Atlantic! About 50,000 miles away! A type IID is a COASTAL boat dammit. What are they doing sending me all the way out there? It'll take me 12.5 days just to get there. There's nothing out there but water!

If I have enough fuel after my 24 hour patrol I'll swing past Gibralter... if the crew haven't died of old age by then.

BDU must hate me!

No problem

I am heading to DT 34 with my U-522 IXC. Perhaps I will meet you on the way. I am now in BF 77.
I can assist you with fuel or supplies.

Good luck.

Stargazer · 01-27-11, 08:39 AM

Went from "Ahh F@#*" to Ahh YEAH!" last night.

February '42: BdU have sent me on my first proper transatlantic run, I'm right up on the north shore of Trinidad and Tobago. Nothing happening so I decide to go do some hellraising at Port of Spain.

I lay waste to over 30,000 tonnes of stationary Allied shipping when my hydrophone operator says that we have a warship bearing down on us.

I'm in a patch of water that's shallower than a bowl of cornflakes and now I have the mobile Depth Charge salesman with 300 examples of his product to pitch to me, steaming up at warp5.

I can't even save all my progress over the last couple of hours because I've been warned about saving underwater causing crashes and to surface would be a bit like streaking through a lion enclosure with 8Kilos of uncooked steak nailed to my head!

I creep reeeeaaally slooooooowly westward avoiding detection when suddenly, whammo! Someone in the galley must have farted or something because my stealth meter went redder than an angry traffic light!

So much for the anti sonar coating I paid for!

And then my loyal and 75% reliable weapons officer, when I say take a chance on Tube1, just starts banginig on about not having a solution.

So I then have to dodge three more rounds of DC's before I stick the scope up and take a pot shot at something I figured was too close and too well armoured to survive one of my attacks.

But, no! Thing went up like Marilyn Monroes skirt on a gusty afternoon! The ship sank into four feet of water and I ran out of the area faster than than a whippet wearing a Saturn-V rocket.

All's hell that ends well... Might make that the motto for my boat!

Rob.

ediko · 01-27-11, 08:52 AM

Loading times..... those make me go the way you're topic is name. I make some sandwiches and tea , sometimes even manage to take a shower before it loads. And to add to my misery - patrolling for some weeks only to find 2 pt boats. Months of boredom in-game. Yeah I know it was boring like this in RL as well, but you know... I have been watching TV while playing the game more than sinking ships.

But when you finally get a contact it feels rewarding, unless that contact is a convoy which you are trying to get closer to only to get noticed by a DD escort and launch a whole salvo of torpedoes which miss as usually or even worse- go dud. Turn around dive deep and enjoy the firecrackers from you're helm for another hour or so. Ehh... I like playing on weekends more

Theusje · 01-29-11, 04:32 PM

First post here.

Shadowed a convoy and went ahead of it. Tried to approach it from the side but was not patient enough or I miscalculated and an escort noticed my periscope, I was idle btw. So when trying to identify the ships I noticed some ship very closely to me.

It was a Black Swan class, oooh S, went to periscope view, it was going straight towards me and was only 800m away, ooooh F, I noticed that we were lined up perfect and deiced to fire a torpedo at 700m.

Now after an hour ingame and realtime to get her rid of me and the convoy is 10km away. And now my hydrophoneman says he hears a second contact, close range and moving in fast; OOHHH F

and now I'm taking a break.

desirableroasted · 01-29-11, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Theusje

First post here.

It was a Black Swan class,

a.k.a. the Green Hornet We Can Do This All Day We Don't Need to Go Home for Dinner We Can Stay Up All Damn Night class.

Missing Name · 01-29-11, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desirableroasted

a.k.a. the Green Hornet We Can Do This All Day We Don't Need to Go Home for Dinner We Can Stay Up All Damn Night class.

That's a great name. They really are annoying.

VONHARRIS · 01-30-11, 07:04 AM

I agree. I hate these Black Swan escorts. I also hate the torpedo boats which are immune to anything a U boat has to fire.

You really don't want to engage one of these with guns.

Stargazer · 01-31-11, 11:50 AM

My crew and I have never been great at anti-aircraft fire. We give it a go but always end up going inside after a few attempts and diving for cover before everyone shows up for the party.

I was surfaced and doing an extended patrol not far from Trinidad and Tobago when someone called out they'd seen a plane. It was a B24.

I have a quite a lot fo heavy-bomber experience so I know that lining up a bomb run on a target is a long methodical process of calculating speed, distance and altitude and that by the time they've got themselves all lined up to get me, I can have them as a smouldering wreckage, falling out of the sky.

I've got my two best gunners in their positions and we're blasting away when... hold on... what's it doing? Is it diving at me?

Whoaa *#*@&£*^#*%*, it's diving at us. Dive the boat! DIVE DAMMIT! DIVE!!!! Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

Then there was a monumental amount of noise and the two gunners were killed and my boat began leaking from all over the place and everything was broken and I was now sinking fast.

Stopped the leak and pumped the water out with just 15m's underneath me to crush depth.

But did I feel like a mug when I rocked up in Lorient a week and half later with unservicable torpedo tubes, broken sonar, broken radar, broken hydrophone, broken radio, broken persicopes, broken flak guns, broken deck gun, hull integrity of about 40% and a pipe in the command room that hadn't stopped spraying water over everyone since the initial attack.

From now on, I'll just hide. My days of thinking "I'll get the plane, how hard can it be" are over.

But since when do Liberator's do dive bombing?! I mean proper dive bombing... And flaming precise at that! It's a heavy for goodness sake! I could probably handle it if it had been an A26 but a B24?!

C'mon. Seriously?

Jimbuna · 01-31-11, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VONHARRIS

I agree. I hate these Black Swan escorts. I also hate the torpedo boats which are immune to anything a U boat has to fire.

You really don't want to engage one of these with guns.

BE MORE AGGRESIVE!!

Hottentot · 02-01-11, 01:25 PM

Hmm, let's see. Night surface attack. Thinking I have passed the escorts and have a clear shot at the convoy. Find a target, perfect angle, not too far away. Start measuring the distance. Set AOB. Measure speed. Make some corrections to torpedos. Almost ready to fire...

BANG!! Out of nowhere comes an escort and starts firing from point blank range. Well, actually it didn't come out of nowhere. The thing is that my wonderful crew thought it was more pleasant to admire the moon than to alert me to the fact that we have a freaking destroyer charging towards us. I mean, deck full of people (officer included) and it never crossed anyone's mind to let the others know that we're going to die?

Another thing I love is the game's occasional amnesia. Sometimes when I have identified a few targets from the convoy and take aim at the first one, the game has suddenly forgotten the class of the ship and calls it just "cargo" or "tanker" again. So it doesn't let me measure the distance either. Which is, uh, quite an important part of firing solution.

Well fine. Take recognition manual again. Browse trough the pages. Slowly. Watch the target pass the point where I intended to send a few eels at him. Browse some more. No, it's not a coastal merchant or a sloop, it's a bloody tanker! Here, I found it!

...Nevermind, it's 2km away already.

SH3 is a weird game. Everytime I quit playing it I hate it for just the things like these. Everytime I swear I'll bury the disc to the ground and never dig it up again. And every time I'll come back to hate the same things. It's a marvelous sim.

Pappy55 · 02-01-11, 04:36 PM

I think my all time number 1 was just after release when I was out in the Atlantic and had a convoy contact very very close to me close to me. I though sweet ahead flank..

Got to the intercept point where I should of made visual contact.. Hydrophone guy was calling out contacts like mad, so I went to the bridge to see the weather had turned poor. viability was not great and it was night.

I was thinking I should be able to see them by now surely..

I could even hear them when suddenly...

"SHIP SPOTTED BEARING 090"

3 seconds later I was T-Boned by a C3 Cargo...

The rest is history..

Can anyone else admit they were sunk by an unarmed merchant ship?

01-22-11, 08:42 PM	#152
Weiss Pinguin Ocean Warrior Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Auburn, Alabama Posts: 3,333 Downloads: 101 Uploads: 0	I remember one time when I picked off all the escorts for a convoy, and was on my third attack. Daytime, on the surface, running behind the convoy using the deck. Just finished off another ship when CTD __________________

01-27-11, 06:50 AM	#154
the.terrabyte.pirate Navy Dude Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 176 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Third Patrol out of Lorient. Type IID (Slow and short range). First two were to patrol around the AM grid. They were pleasant cruises, and I ran out of eels both times before reaching my assigned grid. Short and sweet. Patrol 3, assigned to DT 59. DT 59!!!!!? WTF is that? Oh, right in the middle of the Atlantic! About 50,000 miles away! A type IID is a COASTAL boat dammit. What are they doing sending me all the way out there? It'll take me 12.5 days just to get there. There's nothing out there but water! If I have enough fuel after my 24 hour patrol I'll swing past Gibralter... if the crew haven't died of old age by then. BDU must hate me! __________________ A kings ransom, or a stove boat.

02-01-11, 01:25 PM	#164
Hottentot Sea Lord Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: My private socialist utopia of Finland Posts: 1,918 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	Hmm, let's see. Night surface attack. Thinking I have passed the escorts and have a clear shot at the convoy. Find a target, perfect angle, not too far away. Start measuring the distance. Set AOB. Measure speed. Make some corrections to torpedos. Almost ready to fire... BANG!! Out of nowhere comes an escort and starts firing from point blank range. Well, actually it didn't come out of nowhere. The thing is that my wonderful crew thought it was more pleasant to admire the moon than to alert me to the fact that we have a freaking destroyer charging towards us. I mean, deck full of people (officer included) and it never crossed anyone's mind to let the others know that we're going to die? Another thing I love is the game's occasional amnesia. Sometimes when I have identified a few targets from the convoy and take aim at the first one, the game has suddenly forgotten the class of the ship and calls it just "cargo" or "tanker" again. So it doesn't let me measure the distance either. Which is, uh, quite an important part of firing solution. Well fine. Take recognition manual again. Browse trough the pages. Slowly. Watch the target pass the point where I intended to send a few eels at him. Browse some more. No, it's not a coastal merchant or a sloop, it's a bloody tanker! Here, I found it! ...Nevermind, it's 2km away already. SH3 is a weird game. Everytime I quit playing it I hate it for just the things like these. Everytime I swear I'll bury the disc to the ground and never dig it up again. And every time I'll come back to hate the same things. It's a marvelous sim. __________________ Хотели как лучше, а получилось как всегда.

02-01-11, 04:36 PM	#165
Pappy55 Engineer Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 211 Downloads: 173 Uploads: 0	I think my all time number 1 was just after release when I was out in the Atlantic and had a convoy contact very very close to me close to me. I though sweet ahead flank.. Got to the intercept point where I should of made visual contact.. Hydrophone guy was calling out contacts like mad, so I went to the bridge to see the weather had turned poor. viability was not great and it was night. I was thinking I should be able to see them by now surely.. I could even hear them when suddenly... "SHIP SPOTTED BEARING 090" 3 seconds later I was T-Boned by a C3 Cargo... The rest is history.. Can anyone else admit they were sunk by an unarmed merchant ship? __________________

01-27-11, 08:39 AM	#156
Stargazer A-ganger Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 76 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	Went from "Ahh F@#*" to Ahh YEAH!" last night. February '42: BdU have sent me on my first proper transatlantic run, I'm right up on the north shore of Trinidad and Tobago. Nothing happening so I decide to go do some hellraising at Port of Spain. I lay waste to over 30,000 tonnes of stationary Allied shipping when my hydrophone operator says that we have a warship bearing down on us. I'm in a patch of water that's shallower than a bowl of cornflakes and now I have the mobile Depth Charge salesman with 300 examples of his product to pitch to me, steaming up at warp5. I can't even save all my progress over the last couple of hours because I've been warned about saving underwater causing crashes and to surface would be a bit like streaking through a lion enclosure with 8Kilos of uncooked steak nailed to my head! I creep reeeeaaally slooooooowly westward avoiding detection when suddenly, whammo! Someone in the galley must have farted or something because my stealth meter went redder than an angry traffic light! So much for the anti sonar coating I paid for! And then my loyal and 75% reliable weapons officer, when I say take a chance on Tube1, just starts banginig on about not having a solution. So I then have to dodge three more rounds of DC's before I stick the scope up and take a pot shot at something I figured was too close and too well armoured to survive one of my attacks. But, no! Thing went up like Marilyn Monroes skirt on a gusty afternoon! The ship sank into four feet of water and I ran out of the area faster than than a whippet wearing a Saturn-V rocket. All's hell that ends well... Might make that the motto for my boat! Rob.

01-27-11, 08:52 AM	#157
ediko Electrician's Mate Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Latvia Posts: 137 Downloads: 17 Uploads: 0	Loading times..... those make me go the way you're topic is name. I make some sandwiches and tea , sometimes even manage to take a shower before it loads. And to add to my misery - patrolling for some weeks only to find 2 pt boats. Months of boredom in-game. Yeah I know it was boring like this in RL as well, but you know... I have been watching TV while playing the game more than sinking ships. But when you finally get a contact it feels rewarding, unless that contact is a convoy which you are trying to get closer to only to get noticed by a DD escort and launch a whole salvo of torpedoes which miss as usually or even worse- go dud. Turn around dive deep and enjoy the firecrackers from you're helm for another hour or so. Ehh... I like playing on weekends more

01-29-11, 04:32 PM	#158
Theusje Swabbie Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 8 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	First post here. Shadowed a convoy and went ahead of it. Tried to approach it from the side but was not patient enough or I miscalculated and an escort noticed my periscope, I was idle btw. So when trying to identify the ships I noticed some ship very closely to me. It was a Black Swan class, oooh S, went to periscope view, it was going straight towards me and was only 800m away, ooooh F, I noticed that we were lined up perfect and deiced to fire a torpedo at 700m. Now after an hour ingame and realtime to get her rid of me and the convoy is 10km away. And now my hydrophoneman says he hears a second contact, close range and moving in fast; OOHHH F and now I'm taking a break.

01-30-11, 07:04 AM	#161
VONHARRIS Konteradmiral Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Greece Posts: 1,992 Downloads: 300 Uploads: 0	I agree. I hate these Black Swan escorts. I also hate the torpedo boats which are immune to anything a U boat has to fire. You really don't want to engage one of these with guns.

01-31-11, 11:50 AM	#162
Stargazer A-ganger Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 76 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	My crew and I have never been great at anti-aircraft fire. We give it a go but always end up going inside after a few attempts and diving for cover before everyone shows up for the party. I was surfaced and doing an extended patrol not far from Trinidad and Tobago when someone called out they'd seen a plane. It was a B24. I have a quite a lot fo heavy-bomber experience so I know that lining up a bomb run on a target is a long methodical process of calculating speed, distance and altitude and that by the time they've got themselves all lined up to get me, I can have them as a smouldering wreckage, falling out of the sky. I've got my two best gunners in their positions and we're blasting away when... hold on... what's it doing? Is it diving at me? Whoaa #@&£^#%*, it's diving at us. Dive the boat! DIVE DAMMIT! DIVE!!!! Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive! Then there was a monumental amount of noise and the two gunners were killed and my boat began leaking from all over the place and everything was broken and I was now sinking fast. Stopped the leak and pumped the water out with just 15m's underneath me to crush depth. But did I feel like a mug when I rocked up in Lorient a week and half later with unservicable torpedo tubes, broken sonar, broken radar, broken hydrophone, broken radio, broken persicopes, broken flak guns, broken deck gun, hull integrity of about 40% and a pipe in the command room that hadn't stopped spraying water over everyone since the initial attack. From now on, I'll just hide. My days of thinking "I'll get the plane, how hard can it be" are over. But since when do Liberator's do dive bombing?! I mean proper dive bombing... And flaming precise at that! It's a heavy for goodness sake! I could probably handle it if it had been an A26 but a B24?! C'mon. Seriously?