The joke thread - Page 11

Jimbuna · 07-07-11, 11:14 AM

BBC News: "3 Cliff Walkers Fall to Their Death"

Wow, what were the chances of them all having the same name?

BossMark · 07-07-11, 02:19 PM

A man named Bill woke up on his birthday. His wife and kids didn't even say good morning to him. So, he left for work in a huff. His receptionist, Joanna, said happy birthday. "Thanks, Joanna. That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day." Bill replied, pleased. So he worked until his lunch break, when Joanna asked if he fancied a lunch. Instead of taking their usual lunch just outside, they went to a big beautiful bistro. " My apartment is just around the corner. Would you like to visit?" Joanna asked. "Sure, why not?" Bill replied. At her apartment, Bill sat down on the couch. Joanna said she'd be right back and stepped into the bedroom. Minutes later, she came back out followed by Bills family, friends, and co-workers. Bill just sat there... naked.

Jimbuna · 07-07-11, 03:50 PM

"Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"

"Well, why don't you ask your sister?"

"But I don't have a..."

BossMark · 07-08-11, 03:18 AM

Paddy went to the doctors complaining of a bad back
The doc asks how he did it
'Having sex doggy fashion' says Paddy
'Why dont you try the normal position?'
'I have' said paddy 'but the dog keeps licking my face!'

Jimbuna · 07-08-11, 04:34 AM

The News Of The World.

Proving finally without a doubt 'No news is good news'.

Growler · 07-08-11, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

The News Of The World.

Proving finally without a doubt 'No news is good news'.

/thread

Castout · 07-08-11, 08:07 AM

There are 3 kind of people in general

1. The fool who thinks he is smart
2. The fool who thinks he is wise
and
3. The wise who realizes he is a fool....until he forgets he is one.

Jimbuna · 07-08-11, 09:59 AM

So I hear Thailand has its first female Prime Minister.

Or has it?

BossMark · 07-08-11, 11:18 AM

oh dear lets just laugh at the news of the world
See you and its by by
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Article/201107116026782

Platapus · 07-08-11, 01:48 PM

There are 10 kinds of people in the world

Those who understand Binary
Those who don't

Platapus · 07-08-11, 01:51 PM

An Englishman is visiting an American farmer and is impressed with the production.

He asks the farmer what he does with the food his family can't eat?

The farmer, being somewhat of a rum wit, replies "We eat what we can and what we can't we can"

Well the Englishman though this was an awfully clever pun so when he got back home he wanted to tell his friends about it

"when I asked the farmer what he did with the excess food, the farmer told me, 'we eat what we can and what we can't we put up in tins!'"

frau kaleun · 07-08-11, 02:01 PM

Did you hear about the cannibal chief who showed up late for the monthly chiefs' luncheon?

They gave him the cold shoulder.

Jimbuna · 07-08-11, 02:14 PM

My girlfriend must have been sat for ten minutes last night, wondering what to choose from the menu.

Eventually I had to step in and select, "Play Movie."

AVGWarhawk · 07-08-11, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

My girlfriend must have been sat for ten minutes last night, wondering what to choose from the menu.

Eventually I had to step in and select, "Play Movie."

BossMark · 07-09-11, 01:47 PM

A little boy went up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine."

07-07-11, 11:14 AM	#151
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	BBC News: "3 Cliff Walkers Fall to Their Death" Wow, what were the chances of them all having the same name? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-07-11, 02:19 PM	#152
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	A man named Bill woke up on his birthday. His wife and kids didn't even say good morning to him. So, he left for work in a huff. His receptionist, Joanna, said happy birthday. "Thanks, Joanna. That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day." Bill replied, pleased. So he worked until his lunch break, when Joanna asked if he fancied a lunch. Instead of taking their usual lunch just outside, they went to a big beautiful bistro. " My apartment is just around the corner. Would you like to visit?" Joanna asked. "Sure, why not?" Bill replied. At her apartment, Bill sat down on the couch. Joanna said she'd be right back and stepped into the bedroom. Minutes later, she came back out followed by Bills family, friends, and co-workers. Bill just sat there... naked. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

07-07-11, 03:50 PM	#153
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	"Dad, how do you feel about abortions?" "Well, why don't you ask your sister?" "But I don't have a..." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-08-11, 03:18 AM	#154
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	Paddy went to the doctors complaining of a bad back The doc asks how he did it 'Having sex doggy fashion' says Paddy 'Why dont you try the normal position?' 'I have' said paddy 'but the dog keeps licking my face!' __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

07-08-11, 04:34 AM	#155
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The News Of The World. Proving finally without a doubt 'No news is good news'. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-08-11, 08:07 AM	#157
Castout Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Jakarta Posts: 4,794 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 6	There are 3 kind of people in general 1. The fool who thinks he is smart 2. The fool who thinks he is wise and 3. The wise who realizes he is a fool....until he forgets he is one. __________________ My blog: http://exposingsingapore.wordpress.com/

07-08-11, 09:59 AM	#158
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	So I hear Thailand has its first female Prime Minister. Or has it? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-08-11, 11:18 AM	#159
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	oh dear lets just laugh at the news of the world See you and its by by http://news.sky.com/skynews/Article/201107116026782 __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

07-08-11, 01:48 PM	#160
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	There are 10 kinds of people in the world Those who understand Binary Those who don't __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-08-11, 01:51 PM	#161
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	An Englishman is visiting an American farmer and is impressed with the production. He asks the farmer what he does with the food his family can't eat? The farmer, being somewhat of a rum wit, replies "We eat what we can and what we can't we can" Well the Englishman though this was an awfully clever pun so when he got back home he wanted to tell his friends about it "when I asked the farmer what he did with the excess food, the farmer told me, 'we eat what we can and what we can't we put up in tins!'" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-08-11, 02:01 PM	#162
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	Did you hear about the cannibal chief who showed up late for the monthly chiefs' luncheon? They gave him the cold shoulder.

07-08-11, 02:14 PM	#163
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My girlfriend must have been sat for ten minutes last night, wondering what to choose from the menu. Eventually I had to step in and select, "Play Movie." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-09-11, 01:47 PM	#165
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	A little boy went up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine." __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now