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10-18-18, 09:09 AM | #436 |
Chief of the Boat
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
10-18-18, 05:23 PM | #437 |
Fleet Admiral
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I had a bad day today
When I was putting on a shirt a button fell off When I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off I am afraid to go to the bathroom!
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
10-19-18, 03:13 AM | #438 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
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>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. Last edited by Catfish; 10-19-18 at 05:11 AM. |
10-19-18, 05:10 AM | #439 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
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My dog used to chase after people on a bike,
until I took it away from him.
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>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
10-19-18, 05:13 AM | #440 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
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A german in England:
"Can I have a bloody steak, please?" "Would you like some f'king potatos with it?"
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>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. Last edited by Catfish; 10-19-18 at 06:29 AM. |
10-19-18, 07:10 AM | #441 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just discovered I have superpowers. I can actually melt ice cubes by staring at them. It takes me quite a long time though.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
10-19-18, 04:28 PM | #442 |
Fleet Admiral
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Did you hear about the two old ladies who went for a tramp in the woods?
He had a good time.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
10-20-18, 02:42 AM | #443 |
Silent Hunter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,619
Downloads: 58
Uploads: 0
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An Electoral Polling question......
"... and now sir, how do you view lesbian relationships?" To which I truthfully answered.... " In HQ ".
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10-20-18, 07:32 AM | #444 |
Chief of the Boat
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Yesterday my boss told me “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. Today when I turned up at the office dressed like a Ghostbuster he told me I was fired.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
10-20-18, 08:05 PM | #445 |
Fleet Admiral
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My wife and I sleep in different bedrooms; we take separate vacations; and we each hang out with our own sets of friends.
We are doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
10-21-18, 06:16 AM | #446 |
Chief of the Boat
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Got attacked by a group of mime artists last night. They did unspeakable acts to me.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
10-21-18, 06:44 AM | #447 |
Fleet Admiral
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I was having my annual physical and this time I had a rather attractive doctor doing the examination. Near the end of the examination she asked me, "Are you currently seeing anyone?"
Well I did not expect this, and especially from an attractive woman. With a thrill I told her that no, I wasn't'. She said "I am really surprised to hear that from a man like you in your condition". Flattered and with a smile, I asked her why? She replied "Because I am standing right in front of you. I think I need to refer you to an eye doctor for an exam
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
10-21-18, 07:12 AM | #448 |
Chief of the Boat
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^
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
10-22-18, 12:42 PM | #449 |
Chief of the Boat
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Fun idea. If you have no kids hire a babysitter anyway and tell them the kids are asleep upstairs and not to be disturbed. When you come home ask them why the kids are missing.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
10-22-18, 04:16 PM | #450 |
Fleet Admiral
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Now that's just cruel
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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