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09-01-19, 04:07 AM | #1141 |
Chief of the Boat
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“Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”
“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.” “Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-01-19, 04:08 AM | #1142 |
Chief of the Boat
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Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?
Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell? Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.“
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-02-19, 09:33 AM | #1143 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Waiter, there’s a fly twitching in my soup!”
“And what do you expect for the price? A ballet?!”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-02-19, 09:34 AM | #1144 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-03-19, 05:30 AM | #1145 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo.
Men 1952: I just fixed the roof. Men 2017: I just shaved my legs.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-03-19, 05:31 AM | #1146 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!” So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?” That’s about as far as I remember.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-04-19, 06:18 AM | #1147 |
Chief of the Boat
|
The inventor of AutoCorrect is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-04-19, 06:19 AM | #1148 |
Chief of the Boat
|
A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-05-19, 05:46 AM | #1149 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Mama kangaroo is jumping along the bush. Suddenly, a small penguin peeks out of her pouch, vomits and says, “Damn this student exchange!”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-05-19, 05:47 AM | #1150 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Where do we get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-05-19, 06:51 PM | #1151 |
Fleet Admiral
|
Was she armed with a pair of 38's?
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
09-06-19, 05:49 AM | #1152 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Doctor: “Well - Mrs. Smith, it would seem that you're pregnant.”
Mrs. Smith: “Sweet Jesus, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant?!” Doctor: “I only said that it seems so. Here's our weight loss brochure.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-06-19, 05:50 AM | #1153 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Why is women’s soccer so rare?
It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-06-19, 02:24 PM | #1154 |
Rear Admiral
|
My girlfriend and I sometimes like to role play out fantasies. It's been her turn lately. First fantasy, she fantasied I was a black guy. Next I was a cowboy, then a construction worker...
You ever have a bingo moment where you figure it out. I was driving to work this morning and cut the radio on.... at the "Y. M. C. A". I rushed to the museum and got me an Indian headdress, leather thong and a tomahawk. I can't wait to jump out and surprise her tonight!
__________________
You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it. |
09-07-19, 06:53 AM | #1155 |
Chief of the Boat
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Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with my husband. I am coming to live with you again.
Mother: No. He should pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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