The joke thread II - Page 17

Jimbuna · 07-04-18, 08:14 AM

The UK government has recently referred to payday loan companies as “idiotic” for trying to target children and get them into debt. I agree, everyone knows the best way to get a child into debt is to offer them a student loan.

Jimbuna · 07-04-18, 08:15 AM

Jimbuna · 07-05-18, 05:47 AM

Earlier today Prince Philip sent a message to the President wishing him a happy Independence Day. His message said “You did a great job destroying the alien mothership and humanity is forever grateful.”

Skybird · 07-05-18, 06:46 AM

Hein Döskopp meets his doctor and tells him: "My pointing finger, it is crooked and stiff, I don't know what it is." The doctor says "May I see it?", and Hein raises his hand and shows his finger and yes, the pointing finger is crooked like a fishing hook, and stiff. And the doctor grabs it and tries to pull it and bend it and move it, but all effort is to no avail. Says the doctor: "This is weired, I have no idea what and why it is so. How was your finger before?" And Hein stretches his finger straight and says: "Like this."

Jimbuna · 07-06-18, 07:18 AM

Tried to do some bitcoin mining last night, I now have a pickaxe stuck in my PC.

Jimbuna · 07-07-18, 06:14 AM

Just been arrested at the airport. Apparently “How many do you need?” is a bad response to the question “Do you have any firearms?”

Jimbuna · 07-08-18, 07:04 AM

I heard on the radio today that a warlord in Afghanistan has purchased over 3 million poppies. It’s great to see Islamic military leaders showing their respect to the British Armed Forces.

Jimbuna · 07-09-18, 06:39 AM

Just seen Simon Cowell drowning in my local swimming pool so I saved him ……….. as my profile picture on facebook.

Jimbuna · 07-09-18, 12:41 PM

Jimbuna · 07-10-18, 11:02 AM

What do Santa Claus and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They can both be in two places at once.

Miketney · 07-11-18, 06:11 AM

David Hasselhoff told his agent that he wants to be known as Hoff from now on..

Agent: Sure David. No hassle.

Jimbuna · 07-11-18, 07:06 AM

Just seen a load of unemployed foreigners hanging around in the streets begging for food. The sooner these Canadian Geese fly off back to where they came from the better.

Platapus · 07-11-18, 04:00 PM

I have stopped trying to donate blood.

They ask too many embarrassing questions these days

"Where did you get the blood?"
"Whose blood was this?"

Jimbuna · 07-12-18, 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

I have stopped trying to donate blood.

They ask too many embarrassing questions these days

"Where did you get the blood?"
"Whose blood was this?"

You related to my cat?

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/show...&postcount=330

Jimbuna · 07-12-18, 06:01 AM

The Greek government has just reported that production of humus and taramasalata is down 50% since the start of the month. Looks like it’s going to be a double dip recession.

07-04-18, 08:14 AM	#241
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The UK government has recently referred to payday loan companies as “idiotic” for trying to target children and get them into debt. I agree, everyone knows the best way to get a child into debt is to offer them a student loan. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-04-18, 08:15 AM	#242
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-05-18, 05:47 AM	#243
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Earlier today Prince Philip sent a message to the President wishing him a happy Independence Day. His message said “You did a great job destroying the alien mothership and humanity is forever grateful.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-05-18, 06:46 AM	#244
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 40,507 Downloads: 9 Uploads: 0	Hein Döskopp meets his doctor and tells him: "My pointing finger, it is crooked and stiff, I don't know what it is." The doctor says "May I see it?", and Hein raises his hand and shows his finger and yes, the pointing finger is crooked like a fishing hook, and stiff. And the doctor grabs it and tries to pull it and bend it and move it, but all effort is to no avail. Says the doctor: "This is weired, I have no idea what and why it is so. How was your finger before?" And Hein stretches his finger straight and says: "Like this." __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

07-06-18, 07:18 AM	#245
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Tried to do some bitcoin mining last night, I now have a pickaxe stuck in my PC. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-07-18, 06:14 AM	#246
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just been arrested at the airport. Apparently “How many do you need?” is a bad response to the question “Do you have any firearms?” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-08-18, 07:04 AM	#247
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I heard on the radio today that a warlord in Afghanistan has purchased over 3 million poppies. It’s great to see Islamic military leaders showing their respect to the British Armed Forces. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-09-18, 06:39 AM	#248
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just seen Simon Cowell drowning in my local swimming pool so I saved him ……….. as my profile picture on facebook. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-09-18, 12:41 PM	#249
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-10-18, 11:02 AM	#250
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do Santa Claus and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common? They can both be in two places at once. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-11-18, 06:11 AM	#251
Miketney Swabbie Join Date: Jul 2018 Location: Tampa, Florida Posts: 8 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	David Hasselhoff told his agent that he wants to be known as Hoff from now on.. Agent: Sure David. No hassle.

07-11-18, 07:06 AM	#252
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just seen a load of unemployed foreigners hanging around in the streets begging for food. The sooner these Canadian Geese fly off back to where they came from the better. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-11-18, 04:00 PM	#253
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,954 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I have stopped trying to donate blood. They ask too many embarrassing questions these days "Where did you get the blood?" "Whose blood was this?" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-12-18, 06:01 AM	#255
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,265 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The Greek government has just reported that production of humus and taramasalata is down 50% since the start of the month. Looks like it’s going to be a double dip recession. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)