The joke thread II - Page 33

Jimbuna · 10-30-18, 03:13 PM

Platapus · 10-30-18, 05:38 PM

Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'

'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. '

'Is it common?'

'It's not unusual.'

mikesn9 · 10-31-18, 06:01 AM

BOOOOO HISSSS

chuckle

Jimbuna · 10-31-18, 07:26 AM

Accordion to a recent survey 90% of people don’t notice when you replace words with the names of musical instruments.

Platapus · 10-31-18, 04:27 PM

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.

fireftr18 · 10-31-18, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.

Are you now a believer?

Jimbuna · 11-01-18, 11:00 AM

Did they name the white powdery stuff you get at the beach ‘sand’ because it’s between the sea and the land?

Platapus · 11-01-18, 04:50 PM

A local man has been shot with a starter pistol. Police say the shooting is race related.

Catfish · 11-02-18, 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Did they name the white powdery stuff you get at the beach ‘sand’ because it’s between the sea and the land?

Pff, slander.

Jimbuna · 11-02-18, 05:45 AM

I used to have a job working at a garage fitting tires but I couldn’t handle the pressure.

Platapus · 11-02-18, 03:10 PM

I've bought a new book titled ‘Teach Yourself X-Ray Vision’.

I’ve just been having a look through it.

Platapus · 11-03-18, 06:54 AM

I find I can tell a judgmental person just by looking at them

Jimbuna · 11-03-18, 07:02 AM

If Harry Potter really has magic powers why can’t he cure his bad eyesight?

Jimbuna · 11-03-18, 07:03 AM

Knock knock.
whose there?
“Doorbell repair man“

Platapus · 11-03-18, 10:38 AM

I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked.

I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.

10-30-18, 03:13 PM	#481
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,240 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-30-18, 05:38 PM	#482
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,954 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home' 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.' __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-31-18, 07:26 AM	#484
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,240 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Accordion to a recent survey 90% of people don’t notice when you replace words with the names of musical instruments. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-31-18, 04:27 PM	#485
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,954 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-01-18, 11:00 AM	#487
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,240 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did they name the white powdery stuff you get at the beach ‘sand’ because it’s between the sea and the land? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-31-18, 06:01 AM	#483
mikesn9 Sonar Guy Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Sarasota Florida Posts: 390 Downloads: 68 Uploads: 0	BOOOOO HISSSS chuckle

11-01-18, 04:50 PM	#488
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,954 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	A local man has been shot with a starter pistol. Police say the shooting is race related. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-02-18, 05:45 AM	#490
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,240 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I used to have a job working at a garage fitting tires but I couldn’t handle the pressure. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-02-18, 03:10 PM	#491
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,954 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I've bought a new book titled ‘Teach Yourself X-Ray Vision’. I’ve just been having a look through it. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-03-18, 06:54 AM	#492
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,954 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I find I can tell a judgmental person just by looking at them __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-03-18, 07:02 AM	#493
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,240 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If Harry Potter really has magic powers why can’t he cure his bad eyesight? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-03-18, 07:03 AM	#494
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,240 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Knock knock. whose there? “Doorbell repair man“ __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-03-18, 10:38 AM	#495
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,954 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.