SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
04-03-15, 01:39 AM | #7516 |
Fleet Admiral
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Posts: 15,272
Downloads: 278
Uploads: 0
|
I was in the bookies today trying to decide which horse to pick when I thought to myself, "This pen tastes like it's been in a lot of other people's mouths."
__________________
Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now |
04-03-15, 06:00 AM | #7517 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I never brag.
It's just one of my many, many outstanding features.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-04-15, 02:03 AM | #7518 |
Fleet Admiral
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Posts: 15,272
Downloads: 278
Uploads: 0
|
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
"First offender?" says the judge. "Nope! First the Gibson then the Fender" replies the woman
__________________
Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now |
04-04-15, 10:09 AM | #7519 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I was devastated to find out that the Easter Bunny isn't real.
Wait till I tell Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-04-15, 04:45 PM | #7520 |
Lady Mariner
|
Some say I'm indecisive, but I'm not sure about that.
__________________
|
04-05-15, 02:58 AM | #7521 |
Fleet Admiral
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Posts: 15,272
Downloads: 278
Uploads: 0
|
"It's important we remember the true meaning of Easter" says The Archbishop of Cadbury.
__________________
Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now |
04-05-15, 06:56 AM | #7522 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Speaking outside the court after her divorce from Prince Charming, Cinderella was asked what was the biggest lesson she learned from the marriage, "Never marry a man who's really into shoes", she replied.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-05-15, 07:23 AM | #7523 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Damn, my traditional Easter rabbit stew is now cold because my neighbour was at the door with some whiny story about his kids missing pet.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-05-15, 01:05 PM | #7524 |
Starte das Auto
|
Midget shortage
__________________
|
04-06-15, 02:42 AM | #7525 |
Fleet Admiral
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Posts: 15,272
Downloads: 278
Uploads: 0
|
We went to a Thunderbird's themed fancy dress party, I went the whole hog, had the hair dyed, and got a costume to look like Virgil.
My wife just put a green coat on and went as Thunderbird two.
__________________
Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now |
04-06-15, 06:46 AM | #7526 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Signed up for an assertiveness course.
First week the teacher never turned up. Second week the teacher never turned up. Third week no teacher again so I went to the office to complain. They said, "Congratulations you've passed.".
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-06-15, 11:02 AM | #7527 |
Fleet Admiral
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Posts: 15,272
Downloads: 278
Uploads: 0
|
My newly-wed wife said to me, "Why don't we say one thing that we don't like about each other, and then try to change that."
"OK," I replied. She said, "Great, you start." "Actually this is quite difficult," I said after thinking for a few seconds. "Why, can't you think of anything?" "No, with so many possibilities, it's hard to pick one."
__________________
Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now |
04-06-15, 01:52 PM | #7528 |
Chief of the Boat
|
The fortune teller looked into her crystal ball and said, "You're going to turn into a woman with a massive forehead."
"That's your bleedin reflection, you idiot," I replied.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-07-15, 02:29 AM | #7529 |
Fleet Admiral
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Posts: 15,272
Downloads: 278
Uploads: 0
|
What's the difference between my wife and Inland Revenue?
Inland Revenue wants to talk to me.
__________________
Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now |
04-07-15, 07:27 AM | #7530 |
Chief of the Boat
|
The first day at the nudist colony is always the hardest.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
Tags |
jokes |
|
|