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09-18-18, 09:53 AM | #391 |
Chief of the Boat
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My local church have now installed Wi-Fi to help improve communication. Are they finally admitting praying doesn’t work?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-19-18, 07:56 AM | #392 |
Chief of the Boat
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God: I’m gonna create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: Correction, I’m gonna create a great flood!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-19-18, 03:40 PM | #393 |
Fleet Admiral
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I interviewed 100 women about what they felt was most important in selecting a shampoo.
The number one answer was "What are you doing in my bathroom, get out you pervert!"
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
09-19-18, 03:43 PM | #394 |
Stowaway
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I would have shamelessly exploited that. |
09-19-18, 04:07 PM | #395 |
Fleet Admiral
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It was at the start of our second date. Right away she said those three special words. Sure I had heard them before, but with her, I knew it would be different.
"That's him, Officer"
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
09-20-18, 07:54 AM | #396 |
Chief of the Boat
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__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-20-18, 03:14 PM | #397 |
Fleet Admiral
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I grew up in a tough neighborhood.
When my English teacher asked me "What comes after a sentence."? I told her "you file an appeal". It was a tough neighborhood.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
09-21-18, 05:35 AM | #398 |
Chief of the Boat
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Genesis 1:13 “And on the 3rd day God created the land for all the animals to share but he decided to make a special piece of land called Antarctica just for penguins because he liked them and thought they were cute.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-21-18, 03:38 PM | #399 |
Fleet Admiral
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I came from a tough neighborhood.
It wasn't until I moved, that I learned that a PBJ was something kids ate. It was a tough neighborhood.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
09-22-18, 07:10 AM | #400 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just seen a bishop walking in the street which was strange because he wasn’t walking diagonally.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-22-18, 09:20 AM | #401 |
Fleet Admiral
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I told my wife that I was hiring a new secretary
She told me that I better hire one that was old, fat, and ugly and that she did not want me to hire anyone I would be tempted to have sex with. I asked my wife when could she start.
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. Last edited by Platapus; 09-22-18 at 02:33 PM. |
09-23-18, 05:11 AM | #402 |
Chief of the Boat
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My first day back at the gym today went well. I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and then 3 days in the hospital.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-23-18, 06:46 AM | #403 |
Fleet Admiral
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I lived in a tough neighborhood
At the local restaurant, the chef's special was Broken Leg of Lamb. It was a tough neighborhood.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
09-24-18, 08:54 AM | #404 |
Chief of the Boat
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A lion would never cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-24-18, 04:06 PM | #405 |
Fleet Admiral
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And my other daughter?
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to being in the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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