The joke thread II - Page 111

Jimbuna · 03-28-20, 12:51 PM

Catfish · 03-28-20, 02:36 PM

^ this joke has been around here for three years, only with Brad Pitt, Trump, an old man and a boy.

Brad Pitt says "my friends, fans and family need me", grabs a parachute, jumps.
Trump says "i will be the most clever president of the US, people need me", and jumps.
The old man tells the boy to take the last parachute, but the boy says "no problem there are two left, the most clever president took my rucksack".

Nice propaganda

Jimbuna · 03-29-20, 08:37 AM

Yep, there are more variants of this than any other joke I can remember

Jimbuna · 03-29-20, 08:44 AM

Jimbuna · 03-29-20, 08:48 AM

Top 5 worst ever Irish inventions.

1. Inflatable dartboard.
2. Diet water.
3. Helicopter ejector seat.
4. Wooden barbecue.
5. Non-stick toilet paper.

Jimbuna · 03-29-20, 08:50 AM

A recent scientific study has found that 9/10 men prefer big boobs. The other man prefers the 9 men.

Platapus · 03-29-20, 04:41 PM

When I was in EOD our team was involved in testing of ejection seats for helicopters.

A wacky idea, but dooable. Wisely the USAF decided that autogyroing in is still a good thing for a helo.

But there were some interesting designs that were tested on our range.

Jimbuna · 03-30-20, 12:10 PM

Jimbuna · 03-30-20, 12:13 PM

I hate being bipolar, it’s amazing.

Jimbuna · 03-30-20, 01:22 PM

We are 10 days into this new self isolation and it is really upsetting to witness my wife standing at the living room windows staring aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks!

It breaks my heart to see her like this 😢

I have thought very hard about how I can help her and cheer her up!

I have even considered letting her in....... but rules are rules!

Jimbuna · 03-31-20, 10:03 AM

Slept on the sofa last night. Apparently when my wife asked me to bring her something from the store for pancakes she wasn’t talking about a bra.

Jimbuna · 03-31-20, 10:05 AM

On day 11 of lock down I was working in the study and my wife called upstairs, "do you have pains in your chest, like maybe somebody was sticking pins in a voodoo doll of you ?", "No" I replied don't be so daft I'm working. There was a pause and she shouted up "How about now ?" .....

Jimbuna · 03-31-20, 10:06 AM

Just had a cup of tea with some Viagra sprinkled in it. It doesn’t really taste any different but its great at stopping your biscuits going soft.

Jimbuna · 04-01-20, 08:56 AM

My wife created a website earlier today to give advice to people who are victims of domestic abuse. She’s had 50 hits today already.

Jimbuna · 04-01-20, 08:57 AM

A funeral was held today for the inventor of air conditioning.
Thousands of fans attended.

03-28-20, 12:51 PM	#1651
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	upload images __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-28-20, 02:36 PM	#1652
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 16,897 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	^ this joke has been around here for three years, only with Brad Pitt, Trump, an old man and a boy. Brad Pitt says "my friends, fans and family need me", grabs a parachute, jumps. Trump says "i will be the most clever president of the US, people need me", and jumps. The old man tells the boy to take the last parachute, but the boy says "no problem there are two left, the most clever president took my rucksack". Nice propaganda __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

03-29-20, 08:37 AM	#1653
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yep, there are more variants of this than any other joke I can remember __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-29-20, 08:44 AM	#1654
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-29-20, 08:48 AM	#1655
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Top 5 worst ever Irish inventions. 1. Inflatable dartboard. 2. Diet water. 3. Helicopter ejector seat. 4. Wooden barbecue. 5. Non-stick toilet paper. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-29-20, 08:50 AM	#1656
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A recent scientific study has found that 9/10 men prefer big boobs. The other man prefers the 9 men. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-29-20, 04:41 PM	#1657
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	When I was in EOD our team was involved in testing of ejection seats for helicopters. A wacky idea, but dooable. Wisely the USAF decided that autogyroing in is still a good thing for a helo. But there were some interesting designs that were tested on our range. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-30-20, 12:10 PM	#1658
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-30-20, 12:13 PM	#1659
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I hate being bipolar, it’s amazing. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-30-20, 01:22 PM	#1660
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	We are 10 days into this new self isolation and it is really upsetting to witness my wife standing at the living room windows staring aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks! It breaks my heart to see her like this 😢 I have thought very hard about how I can help her and cheer her up! I have even considered letting her in....... but rules are rules! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-31-20, 10:03 AM	#1661
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Slept on the sofa last night. Apparently when my wife asked me to bring her something from the store for pancakes she wasn’t talking about a bra. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-31-20, 10:05 AM	#1662
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	On day 11 of lock down I was working in the study and my wife called upstairs, "do you have pains in your chest, like maybe somebody was sticking pins in a voodoo doll of you ?", "No" I replied don't be so daft I'm working. There was a pause and she shouted up "How about now ?" ..... __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-31-20, 10:06 AM	#1663
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just had a cup of tea with some Viagra sprinkled in it. It doesn’t really taste any different but its great at stopping your biscuits going soft. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-01-20, 08:56 AM	#1664
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife created a website earlier today to give advice to people who are victims of domestic abuse. She’s had 50 hits today already. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-01-20, 08:57 AM	#1665
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A funeral was held today for the inventor of air conditioning. Thousands of fans attended. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)