Can I just vent about healthcare and dying?

[Platapus]

My wife's sister is dying of cancer. She has already lived two years longer than the doctors expected.



One of the more recent symptoms is that the cancer paralyzed her stomach so she is unable to eat or drink. She is being kept alive on inter-venous feeding and hydration. If you are familiar with such treatment, it is torturous on the patient.



She decided that it was time to transition to hospice.



The hospice company told her that they can't continue the inter-venous feeding and hydration as that is considered a medical procedure.



So she is faced with two choices


Go into hospice and slowly die of dehydration
Stay in the hospital and be kept alive in horrible misery.



There is a third choice as the state she is in has physician assisted suicide but she has religious beliefs that must be respected.


We would not allow a dog to suffer like this, but these are the choices my wife's sister is facing.



From what I heard, she elected to die of dehydration.... in the 21st century.



Whiskey Tango Foxtrot



No one deserves to go out like that. I just hope that Hospice can knock her out so she does not suffer.

[Jimbuna]

So terribly sad and something that shouldn't be tolerated in this day and age.

Sending my best wishes to her as well as her family.

[Reece]

^ ditto, not much I can say to help, just hope and pray that somehow she will go peacefully.

I always pray that I go out with a massive heart attack - quick!

[August]

Hospice gave my mother a prescription for morphine in her last couple of days. I'd imagine they will keep her well sedated.

[Commander Wallace]

Originally Posted by August

Hospice gave my mother a prescription for morphine in her last couple of days. I'd imagine they will keep her well sedated.

Generally, in Hospice, the patient can be completely sedated and as Platapus said, pass away from organ failure and dehydration. Or, the Hospice patient can be slightly sedated so they can receive guests and communicate with friends, family and Hospice personnel. Either way, It's a rough road for the family and patient. It always will be because if the family had their way, The Hospice patient would throw off their covers, easily get up, do cartwheels down the hall and be like they were 20 years earlier. Anything short of that isn't acceptable. In short, we don't want to lose our loved ones.

I just lost a friend of the family in Hospice a few weeks ago. It's hard to see someone you care about in that condition that had once been so vibrant. She did a lot in her Community. It's never easy to lose someone and never will be.

Condolences To Platapus and August and everyone else going through difficult circumstances like these or have experienced it.

[les green01]

Condolences platapus

[vienna]

You have my sincere condolences regarding your family's situation. It is, indeed, disheartening when a situation exists where an animal is given more thought and consideration by the public, in general, than a human being suffering through the pains of final life. That the structure of the medical and insurance industries are geared more to economic expedience than compassionate service doesn't help matters much either...

Have you sought out any of the several organizations or groups dedicated to the needs of those seeking hospice or palliative care? I had coworker once who was in a situation similar to yours and another coworker Googled a few such organizations and one was able to point her in the direction of an advocate who was able to offer some help in her need. Perhaps your family might find some hope in the counsel of those who are trying to find more equitable solutions to a very tragic situation. It might be worthwhile to see if maybe some sort of support group for families of those who have members going through hospice might offer advice or solace...

For the sake of your wife's sister and the rest of your family, I do hope she does find a way to pass away without needless pain and with dignity. Your family is in my thoughts...



<O>

[Onkel Neal]

So sorry to hear that. Really rigid processes don't help anyone. I would opt for option 3 for sure, but as August suggested, getting a strong sedative until the end would seem to be be viable.

[Skybird]

Originally Posted by Commander Wallace

Generally, in Hospice, the patient can be completely sedated and as Platapus said, pass away from organ failure and dehydration. Or, the Hospice patient can be slightly sedated so they can receive guests and communicate with friends, family and Hospice personnel. Either way, It's a rough road for the family and patient. It always will be because if the family had their way, The Hospice patient would throw off their covers, easily get up, do cartwheels down the hall and be like they were 20 years earlier. Anything short of that isn't acceptable. In short, we don't want to lose our loved ones.

I just lost a friend of the family in Hospice a few weeks ago. It's hard to see someone you care about in that condition that had once been so vibrant. She did a lot in her Community. It's never easy to lose someone and never will be.

Condolences To Platapus and August and everyone else going through difficult circumstances like these or have experienced it.

+1

The problem also lies in the commercialisation of health care. When the mother of my father died, it was clear where her road ahead would lead her when she was in hospital, and everybody knew she would never leave it again. Still, they ran an awful lot of procedures and diagnostics on her, many of them making her suffer more than was inevitable anyway due to her health status - not because they could get info from these to change her fate for the better, but because it generated income for the hospital. They milked coins out of her until she was dead. Not metaphorically spoken - but literally. My uncle was the one being in place and deciding - and he just did not know enough about all this, trusted them doctors.

When you make health care an investment option for shareholders and profits must be created to pay out these shareholders - guess who looses. The money gets taken form somewhere, it does not rain down from heaven. Somebody's gotta pay the bill. When years ago I still held stocks, I carefully had excluded health care providers and insurers.

[mapuc]

My best advise would be:
Move to the Netherland or some other countries where active death help is legal.

This is what I get from reading the comments-That she is terminal ill and want to end her life.

Markus

[Platapus]

She has that option in Washington State
But because of religious beliefs she doesn't want that.


That should be respected.

[Jimbuna]

Most definitely.

[Reece]

I also agree!

[les green01]

You want to watch caregiver on hospice though when my grandma was doing it the caregiver was talking grandma out of money and items that the caregiver like

[Commander Wallace]

Originally Posted by Skybird

+1

The problem also lies in the commercialisation of health care. When the mother of my father died, it was clear where her road ahead would lead her when she was in hospital, and everybody knew she would never leave it again. Still, they ran an awful lot of procedures and diagnostics on her, many of them making her suffer more than was inevitable anyway due to her health status - not because they could get info from these to change her fate for the better, but because it generated income for the hospital. They milked coins out of her until she was dead. Not metaphorically spoken - but literally. My uncle was the one being in place and deciding - and he just did not know enough about all this, trusted them doctors.

When you make health care an investment option for shareholders and profits must be created to pay out these shareholders - guess who looses. The money gets taken form somewhere, it does not rain down from heaven. Somebody's gotta pay the bill. When years ago I still held stocks, I carefully had excluded health care providers and insurers.

I never really thought about these things or situations this way. These situations are difficult enough for the respective families without even considering the financial ramifications that drive the nursing home and Hospice Care Units and their financial bottom lines. Emotions are always running high for the patients, families and friends during these times and we never consider this is essentially a business. When we are dealing with a family member or friend in the end stages of their lives, we of course want the very best for them. Some Hospice units are of course better than others in dealing with this issues and balancing the needs of the family, patient and care unit.

Thanks Sky for pointing that out.