The joke thread II - Page 149

Moonlight · 08-25-20, 05:43 PM

^I like that one Mr Quatro.

Platapus · 08-25-20, 05:46 PM

My GF dropped the laundry basket

I watched the whole thing unfold

Platapus · 08-25-20, 05:48 PM

There is a new restaurant called The Fiddle. I gave it a poor review.

I said it was a vile inn

Jimbuna · 08-26-20, 06:00 AM

Scientific survey found out recently that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Jimbuna · 08-26-20, 06:01 AM

Trump has announced that recent airstrikes were a great success. After reducing large parts of Syria to rubble people living in Detroit now feel slightly less jealous of Syrians.

Jimbuna · 08-26-20, 11:49 AM

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

Jimbuna · 08-27-20, 09:14 AM

While your girlfriend is asleep stick a nicotine patch on her arm and then take it off before she wakes up.

That way if you ever break up she’ll get withdrawal symptoms, think she’s in love and want you back.

Jimbuna · 08-27-20, 09:15 AM

Someone crashed my car earlier today. I found a note on the windshield that said:

“Sorry, I reversed into your car. Loads of people saw me do it so I decided to leave you this note. They think I’m leaving you my name and address but I’m not. Good luck with the repairs.”

Texas Red · 08-27-20, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

Jimbuna · 08-28-20, 10:56 AM

Really fed up with my new Thai bride!

She keeps leaving the toilet seat up!

Jimbuna · 08-28-20, 10:57 AM

The first ever tablet to download data from the cloud was actually invented by Moses in 1300 BC.

Platapus · 08-28-20, 05:37 PM

A friend of mine started counterfeiting eighteen-dollar bills.

I asked him what can you do with an 18 dollar bill?

He told me that he knows a store owner so dumb that he will break an 18 dollar bill.

I went to this store with my friend and he did indeed ask the store owner "Can you break this 18 dollar bill"

The store owner responded "Sure, how do you want that? Two 9s or three 6s?"

Jimbuna · 08-29-20, 05:49 AM

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Yes!!
Boss: That’s good, because after you left early yesterday for your grandmother’s funeral she came into the office to see you.

Jimbuna · 08-29-20, 05:50 AM

Ladies please be careful when drinking tea. I found out last night that tea is more dangerous than alcohol. I came home at 4am after having 12 pints of beer and my wife who stayed at home drinking tea was really angry and violent.

Platapus · 08-29-20, 06:24 AM

My doctor asked me if I was still suffering from Premature Ejaculation.

I told her, that I wasn't, but my wife was.

08-25-20, 05:43 PM	#2221
Moonlight Admiral Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Fookhall Copse Posts: 2,141 Downloads: 184 Uploads: 0	^I like that one Mr Quatro. __________________

08-25-20, 05:46 PM	#2222
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,965 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My GF dropped the laundry basket I watched the whole thing unfold __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-25-20, 05:48 PM	#2223
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,965 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	There is a new restaurant called The Fiddle. I gave it a poor review. I said it was a vile inn __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-26-20, 06:00 AM	#2224
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Scientific survey found out recently that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-26-20, 06:01 AM	#2225
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Trump has announced that recent airstrikes were a great success. After reducing large parts of Syria to rubble people living in Detroit now feel slightly less jealous of Syrians. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-26-20, 11:49 AM	#2226
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-27-20, 09:14 AM	#2227
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	While your girlfriend is asleep stick a nicotine patch on her arm and then take it off before she wakes up. That way if you ever break up she’ll get withdrawal symptoms, think she’s in love and want you back. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-27-20, 09:15 AM	#2228
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Someone crashed my car earlier today. I found a note on the windshield that said: “Sorry, I reversed into your car. Loads of people saw me do it so I decided to leave you this note. They think I’m leaving you my name and address but I’m not. Good luck with the repairs.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-28-20, 10:56 AM	#2230
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Really fed up with my new Thai bride! She keeps leaving the toilet seat up! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-28-20, 10:57 AM	#2231
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The first ever tablet to download data from the cloud was actually invented by Moses in 1300 BC. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-28-20, 05:37 PM	#2232
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,965 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	A friend of mine started counterfeiting eighteen-dollar bills. I asked him what can you do with an 18 dollar bill? He told me that he knows a store owner so dumb that he will break an 18 dollar bill. I went to this store with my friend and he did indeed ask the store owner "Can you break this 18 dollar bill" The store owner responded "Sure, how do you want that? Two 9s or three 6s?" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-29-20, 05:49 AM	#2233
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: Yes!! Boss: That’s good, because after you left early yesterday for your grandmother’s funeral she came into the office to see you. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-29-20, 05:50 AM	#2234
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Ladies please be careful when drinking tea. I found out last night that tea is more dangerous than alcohol. I came home at 4am after having 12 pints of beer and my wife who stayed at home drinking tea was really angry and violent. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-29-20, 06:24 AM	#2235
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,965 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My doctor asked me if I was still suffering from Premature Ejaculation. I told her, that I wasn't, but my wife was. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.