The Bilge

[swamprat69er]

Originally Posted by Armistead

Oh, who cares anymore, this place stinks and I'm sick of it, sick of the stew, the confessions, constant whining from lack of herpes ointment....sick of you all. Let's be honest, I'm never gonna get command here, much less my own boat...

I've put in request of transfer to another boat. One Wolferz approves it, I'm out of here. You won't have old Armi to worry about anymore. I only wanted to lead you men, but truth is this crew is just a bunch of washed up misfits with sow bellies, bent backs and bad breath. Place couldn't be worse if you crossed a porn flick with Old McDonald's farm during a tornado.

AND I for one like it that way.

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Armistead

Oh, who cares anymore, this place stinks and I'm sick of it, sick of the stew, the confessions, constant whining from lack of herpes ointment....sick of you all. Let's be honest, I'm never gonna get command here, much less my own boat...

I've put in request of transfer to another boat. One Wolferz approves it, I'm out of here. You won't have old Armi to worry about anymore. I only wanted to lead you men, but truth is this crew is just a bunch of washed up misfits with sow bellies, bent backs and bad breath. Place couldn't be worse if you crossed a porn flick with Old McDonald's farm during a tornado.

Request approved!

Going back to your pig farm?
How will that be any different?

The brass is still grilling me as to how the periscope trunk got bent to the point of useless. But, I covered for you and kept mum about the elephant lady you brought aboard for the night of jell-o and back fat party you organized. Watching you motor boat that gal with such enthusiasm was entertainment enough to guarantee my silence. But, I must confess, the sight of cottage cheese still invokes my gag reflex.
We'll miss you. Well, we won't miss all that body hair of yours stopping up the drains and seizing up the bilge pumps. So there's a plus in this whole sordid tale at least.

Aktungbby, would you care for a promotion to first officer?

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by swamprat69er

AND I for one like it that way.

coming from someone that convinced the Capt. of the boat that his underwear covered in piss stains and doo doo mold were camo briefs.....

I'll be in my bunk until my release.....

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Request approved!

Going back to your pig farm?
How will that be any different?

The brass is still grilling me as to how the periscope trunk got bent to the point of useless. But, I covered for you and kept mum about the elephant lady you brought aboard for the night of jell-o and back fat party you organized. Watching you motor boat that gal with such enthusiasm was entertainment enough to guarantee my silence. But, I must confess, the sight of cottage cheese still invokes my gag reflex.
We'll miss you. Well, we won't miss all that body hair of yours stopping up the drains and seizing up the bilge pumps. So there's a plus in this whole sordid tale at least.

Aktungbby, would you care for a promotion to first officer?

That easy, huh? After all these years, the good, the bad, the ugly. All the talks, watching each other rise in the ranks. Have I not always covered for you as well?

Well, since you wanna air some dirty laundry, here's one for ya. When we were stuck on that island with Chief Buku, you always bragging how Kinki said you "were so big" Well, while you were in wedded bliss with her fat sister, I spent several nights in sordid bliss with Kinki as well. I asked her about it..she said you big all right......"so heavy he flatten me"

I shave my body so I can oil it down during battle stations and get through narrow spaces...

And the elephant lady, that was your sister.....

Well, I guess it's over. Before I leave, I'll let you think about it a few day....Better yet, I say we let the crew vote on it.

Men, if you're all willing to make some changes and say so, I'll stay..

[Buddahaid]

Mmmmmmmmmmm.......



Hey..... wait..... no I..........what?


Nooooooooo.........




Where am I?

[fireftr18]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I've had enough...These are direct orders.

Tango will remain the priest, but find another booth other than the head..I'm tired of when I kneel before you getting piss knees...and while Wolferz says he's stroking me out of compassion, I'm not buying it...

Fire with his vast experience will do the cooking, but can train Kapt. Inass to take that position when he's off probation.

Aktung, will remain in his current position under me...

Budda will be the new safety officer {collection of bilge waste}

Everyone else can maintain the current position they're in...

I'll take that position,err, job. It might take a while. When you asked me to get the Bilge cleaned up, I got some of the newby's working on it. Shortage of pots and pans because one of them is busy scraping the crud out of them. Another is scraping the crud off the stove. When it's all cleaned up and ready to go, I'll get started. Be careful, in full firefighter tradition, I use hot sauce by the gallons.

[Aktungbby]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

firefighterss are adept at cooking for stationhouse crews-and have rudimentary first aid training...perhaps Fireftr can combine chef and safety officer. God knows he lent Buddhaid his best turnout gear-coat for that pachyderm aft inspection.! We can put him in charge of tne new condom machine too, for our upcoming Thailand war cruise-fette Beute-wiseSafety first BBY-We have enough leftover Alberich coating to insure everyone has a good time !

Originally Posted by Buddahaid

Mmmmmmmmmmm.......

Wee
Hey..... wait..... no I..........what?


Nooooooooo.........




Where am I?

Originally Posted by fireftr18

I'll take that position,err, job. It might take a while. When you asked me to get the Bilge cleaned up, I got some of the newby's working on it. Shortage of pots and pans because one of them is busy scraping the crud out of them. Another is scraping the crud off the stove. When it's all cleaned up and ready to go, I'll get started. Be careful, in full firefighter tradition, I use hot sauce by the gallons.

Well that solves the chef problemo 2 A t! and the more tobasco the better!
As for BuddahBBY....how'd he find Catfish's mushrooms so damn quick; unless they were in the pachyderm's gandu As 4 ArmiBBY ditching his responsibilities here, I don't see a departure anytime soon: Wolfertz has adroitly and forsightedly 'damned' his service record with faint praise ,practically insuring his continued minionship aboard our band-of-misfits tub; no other 'sane' commander would take him after reading his jacket. The proof is in the pudding: no other exec would dare make ME his COB!

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I've had enough...These are direct orders.

Tango will remain the priest, but find another booth other than the head..I'm tired of when I kneel before you getting piss knees...and while Wolferz says he's stroking me out of compassion, I'm not buying it...

Fire with his vast experience will do the cooking, but can train Kapt. Inass to take that position when he's off probation.

Aktung, will remain in his current position under me...

Budda will be the new safety officer {collection of bilge waste}

Everyone else can maintain the current position they're in...

Does this mean I need to apprentice someone for the laundry, sewage tank clearing, and deck swabbing soon?

[Armistead]

I'm gonna assume the men want me to stay since they're still asking me questions.

I filed my request to transfer while under digest, that last meal just did me in. The Dr. said I wasn't myself and my request wasn't legit.

I'm staying on .....still hurt that I could be dismissed so easily.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Kaptlt.Endrass

Does this mean I need to apprentice someone for the laundry, sewage tank clearing, and deck swabbing soon?

Far as I know we've been using 5 gal bucket since Wolferz took refuge in the head, but yes, continue to empty the buckets up top once they're full. Make sure you scrub each one with lye. Oh, I know the last man that did this job said the fishing was really good when he dumped he buckets.....

You can do the laundry, but before sanitary removal, deck swabbing as well.

Next new member, you can assign one of these positions to them, providing proper training...

Edit....Budda being the newest member was recent'y assigned sanitary duty under his role as safety officer, so you don't have to continue in that role. Sorry for the confusion, I haven't been myself lately...

[Wolferz]

What can I say?

You know I hate...

Cry babies.

I'm sure the Pentagon can find you a slot suitable to your talents....
Like: Patton's personal chauffer...

[Buddahaid]

ZZzzzzzzzzzz



Snerk.,,,,


Hey what happened my head hurts. I think some fumes or something got to me.

What's going on?

[Tango589]

You'll be ok, Catfish slipped you some of his 'shrooms. You'll be right as rain after a stiff shot of bilge brew.

[Armistead]

WERN LIVES......!!!!

Let our new cry be...Down with Wolferz, long live Wern!

[fireftr18]

Originally Posted by Armistead

WERN LIVES......!!!!

Let our new cry be...Down with Wolferz, long live Wern!

Armistead, you can cry about Wolferz all you want, I'll celebrate return of our prodigal son.